How much do you help with homework?

sluggers said:

Holy cow, China and I agree on something...

I stopped making sure that my kids got "As" in the 7th grade. If they wanted help, they could come to us. Other than that, we would make sure their homework was done.

They learned how to budget their time and how long they needed to do assignments. As far as I can tell, your DD isn't learning anything about her own limitations.



You're crazy.

Parenting 101: The child should experience the natural consequences of her actions.

You are making choices about what she does for her. So, she never gets to make a choice. She never gets to experience what happens when *SHE* makes a bad decision. There are never any consequences for her. She will never learn how to make good decisions unless you allow her to make bad decisions.

Additionally, you are making her dependent upon you. (One might ask, "Is that for her or for you?") You are trying to raise a person who doesn't need you.

Additionally, you are teaching her that softball is more important than her school work. ***IT ISN'T***


Rich kid kills four in Texasl

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I may be off base here, but what I think I am getting is that you do not approve of parental help with homework?

The article was good though. But on the list of jacked up things that have happened in Texas it is very low on the list.

after re reading your response I decided to take offense, so let me set you straight on a couple of ridiculous assumptions you made....

DD gets plenty of consequences, how you build in an assumption that because we help here sometimes that somehow she NEVER gets to fall on her own, is beyond me. She faces the consequences of her actions all the time and has plenty of opportunities to fail without daddy bailing her out.

DDs, both of them, do their homework every day, without asking, will run circles academically around 90% of the kids in the nation. Both of them just got straight As, both are in GATE, both tests above 90th percentile across the boards on standardized tests etc. She is super bright and hard working. She has EARNED an assist when homework assignments, many of which I consider complete BS, pile up because she has a time demanding sport that she chooses to pursue year round.

Softball is more important than some schoolwork-I see the BS she has to do, spending an hour on rote memorization of times tables that she already has learned? I did this too and I thought it was stupid when I was a kid, if I get 100% on something on a Monday, why on earth should I do it again on a Tuesday and a Wednesday? My daughter is shy and quiet, the ONLY time she gets to be the center of attention is when she is on a softball field, and she thrives doing it. She doesn't have to be an awkward 11 year old adjusting to middle school, she just gets to play a game that she loves and can instantly earn the respect of her peers. Do you remember how good that felt? I do. And yes that is more important to her overall growth than some of the arts and crafts that get buried inside of her homework, right now it is making pop up illustrations for a report on Egypt, but next week it will be something just as stupid.

Trust me when I say that academics are stressed, DD has a lot of responsibility and faces lots of consequences for her actions, the OP was simply about how MUCH do other parents help with homework, I was not seeking parental guidance, so keep the condescending rebukes, and the illogical conclusions on my parenting to yourself.

Amy in AZ. said:

Just wait until the schools have to adopt the Core Curriculum. If you think that HS is nuts, now, just wait. I hope that DD lets me homeschool GDD.

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When did "core" become a bad word? I went to a college with one of the strictest, if not the strictest, core curriculum and I think it was one of the best educational experiences, regardless of whether I was interested in a particular topic.

My kids, DD included, are encouraged to do their homework on their own. They know that if they struggle, they can ask for help...but often, they ask each other (probably a good thing since the curriculum has changed tremendously since my school days). Anyhow, DD gets an asinine amount of homework. As a matter of fact, she had a project/assignment for English where they are having a one day discussion seminar. Every student has to have 3 very well constructed questions to present to the class (on the book "Lord of the Flies"). Poor DD (who is a straight A AP/GT student) has struggled for years with faster reading. She started reading when she was 3, but she still cannot read fast. She has been pacing herself with the book, and boom...she had to finish reading it last night in order to complete the assignment due today. She was up until 2 a.m. reading/working on the project. She gets up at 5:45 a.m. I woke her up and she responded with "I feel like I just took a short nap". Needless to say, she grabbed 2 bottles of mocha frappacinos on her way out the door. LOL.

In this case, this was a project she had to do on her own...obviously, I couldn't read the book for her. Additionally, there have been times where she's had insane amounts of homework, and I have asked if there was anything I could do to help. She always shrugged me off..."No, I have to do this."

While I am proud of the kids' level of independence and discipline, I am very against the levels of homework/projects these kids are assigned. They get NO outside time outside of their own sports. I am very scared of these kids totally burning out on education period...they need breaks, and no, weekends are not enough (especially since they STILL have weekend homework!). DD tries VERY hard to get ahead by completing assignments 2-3 days ahead of due date. But when they slam her, it's impossible. These kids need their rest and SANITY.

I wish there was a homework holiday at least every 2 weeks.

DD can only participate in 1 sport at a time and still keep her sanity. Last 2 years there has been a short overlap between SB and VB, which can be a long few weeks for her. Other them that short period of time she seems to be able to keep up with everything and have a social life.

DD is a HS junior at a very academically competitive school. 9 th & 10 th grade, the work load was manageable - it was a are night if DD went to bed after 10 PM.

Junior year is a harsh dose of reality - Fall sport (field hockey); 2 honors classes; PSAT/PLAN/ACT Prep & a junior year thesis and a 100 hour community service requirement (to be done in the winter when there are no sports for her). On a great night she's in bed at 10:30; most night 11:15 and the tough nights 12:30. 4+ hours a night of school work isn't unusual so it's tough to get ahead of the homework cycle. There are many a morning she's finishing her home work on the 25 minute drive to school we have.

Is it hard - yep. Is it manageable - barely; but she lives at home, has no other responsibilities and hads mom & dad to fall back on if necessary. Mom helps out with mom things & dad proofreads writing assignments when asked, but our assistance is minimal.

Where dad helps out a lot is keeping up with the recruiting emails, updates, sending transcripts etc, since DD is being recruited for both fielkd hoickey & softball.

What comes out of this is the top 20%-25% of each graduating class all matriculate to the highly academic schools good students attend - some are athletes some not. The field hockey team is sending the captain to an Ivy for the 2nd consecutive year - that Ivy FH coach comes to see DD's team play as they now have a pipeline for players who can play & get through Admissions.

Most of the other athletes attend the very academic D III schools, with a smattering of Ivy's & Di's thrown in. Two soccer players in D's year just committed as a package to a very academic ACC school - big new on her campus - both are great kids and very talented players.

Core Curriculum. -
In Kelly Thompson’s household, extracurricular activities are history.

There’s no time for music lessons and after-school sports, no matter how much her two children enjoyed them.

Not with the multiple tests her fourth-grader and sixth-grader take each week on top of additional hours of homework, the result of the new Common Core State Standards rolled out in Anne Arundel County Public Schools this year.

“It has completely changed our family dynamic,” said Thompson, co-creator of the Facebook group Parental Awareness of Common Core.

http://baltimore.cbslocal.com/2013/...truggle-with-new-common-core-state-standards/

sluggers said:

Holy cow, China and I agree on something...

I stopped making sure that my kids got "As" in the 7th grade. If they wanted help, they could come to us. Other than that, we would make sure their homework was done.

They learned how to budget their time and how long they needed to do assignments. As far as I can tell, your DD isn't learning anything about her own limitations.



You're crazy.

Parenting 101: The child should experience the natural consequences of her actions.

You are making choices about what she does for her. So, she never gets to make a choice. She never gets to experience what happens when *SHE* makes a bad decision. There are never any consequences for her. She will never learn how to make good decisions unless you allow her to make bad decisions.

Additionally, you are making her dependent upon you. (One might ask, "Is that for her or for you?") You are trying to raise a person who doesn't need you.

Additionally, you are teaching her that softball is more important than her school work. ***IT ISN'T***


Rich kid kills four in Texasl

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We agree on a lot of things. But the things that we agree on generally will not generate a response.

We'll help her with the subjects if she requests help. When I was in 7th grade I don't remember having much homework but I'm so old who really knows. I do know that I learned in HS to use my free time wisely to get my work done. If kids want to play they need to get the work done.

Imagine if your dd had a school project due and a practice scheduled. Would you consider, going to practice for her? You know just to help her out.

inde53546 said:

Stop assigning stupid art projects in english and social studies. If we have do another freaking diarama or similar bs I'm gonna get mad. In all seriouness some homework is really dumb

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Those Social Studies Teachers! Who do they think they are? That stuff isn't important. I mean it is not like it is English, or Math or ... that really matter.