Changing Teams

GatorGirl said:

Ego is a HARD pill to swallow. I have swallowed a lot of those pills lately during this learning process.

Click to expand...

No need too. Its just your vision. Your not seeing all the opts.... TB???...Like it, or start your own team... then .org..... College???cascade/crusade or walk-on.... Use your eyes not your ears.... Dream the Dream... Just Do It ... then...Bring It

Yes, but it is their vision that needs to be seen, NOT ours. We are just there to carry the equipment and pay the bills. LOL

That is just it. Parents are looking at the ops, not the kids. I really don't see a kid sitting there calculating # of pitches thrown to get into college, which team will give them the best chance to "be looked at", what level of school they want to even play for. Yes of course there are a few, but this is the parents doing this because we want our kids to go to college and SOMEONE has to pay for it.

I am just calling a spade a spade. I don't know why this is a taboo topic when this is reality. Are we really saying that we are paying thousands of dollars on equipment, lessons and traveling for the "love of the game?"

It really is OK to say, we are doing all of this in hopes of a college scholarship. I got academic scholarship for my first 2 years of school, so I KNOW first hand how much that helped my mom pay for the last 2 years. It is huge. You have made a huge initial investment, it is natural to want the big pay off.

I just feel like everyone dances around it cause no one wants to hear the statistics or have someone judge them too harshly. I think it this was more openly discussed, we would all ONLY become more educated on the different levels of schools, scholarships available and how to up these kids chances.

Lets just get rid of the Elephant in the Room and stop saying "we are doing what is best" and state it for what it is. It is ok, really, it is.

GatorGirl said:

Lets just get rid of the Elephant in the Room and stop saying "we are doing what is best" and state it for what it is. It is ok, really, it is.

Click to expand...

Agree...I still think I should have been able to carry DD's equipment. That was one of the first tissue issues I faced....Even when I took her to her first hitting lesson, thinking I was out of sight of the (????)... I told her... "I will carry the bag now" & went walking in & the Coach yells across the cage, and in lieu of working w/ another student... @ me to make her carry her own. I resented that, but he was much older, and a friend of my Dads.

My two points in that are: Carry Your Own & Family Connection. At 55 I'm still but my Dads son. She seen me show the honor to this elder, that I refuse so many others. We only went 3 more times, then stopped showing up for the family reunions...LOL. Though I will carry her bag, I am vested in her paying her own way. Be it scholarship, savings, or software... she will only go as far as her vision. Once she realizes the costs of what see is foreseeing, in terms of time & sacrifice, she wisely ....only involves me in the real deals. They can't understand the overview, but they can see it, if you can print your own coloring pages. I am only teaching DD how...to learn to learn.... It's needed in everything.

There is just as much competition in the academics. I've had to stay pushy, for the A in science projects with my stepson....and constantly push buttons to keep him eligible for sports. It's not so much the money, its the time. I knew he wasn't going to be a scientist.... The volunteers win most of the time. Now you know why we project about her going to UT. In my older post I've spoke to me trying to make end roads into helping park cars on Game Days.... I could never rake the diamonds... I got to have some authority... She can see me doing that. She has seen me practice it @ walmarts...

GatorGirl said:

Are we really saying that we are paying thousands of dollars on equipment, lessons and traveling for the "love of the game?"

Click to expand...

Lots of truth in your post, GG. But it's also possible to spend a bunch of money for the here and now. Our family has invested a lot in my DD's travel ball, but the goal has never been to play college softball. While she has the ability to play college ball at some level, it's less than 50-50 that she ever will. That's not why she plays. But our weekends still tend to revolve around softball.

That's not to negate your post, just quibble with a part of it. One of the best messages you can send to any parent is to be careful who's vision it is we're following. I have to be careful of that all the time. Not sure how well I've done it over the years. Still trying.

GatorGirl said:

Yes, but it is their vision that needs to be seen, NOT ours. We are just there to carry the equipment and pay the bills. LOL

That is just it. Parents are looking at the ops, not the kids. I really don't see a kid sitting there calculating # of pitches thrown to get into college, which team will give them the best chance to "be looked at", what level of school they want to even play for. Yes of course there are a few, but this is the parents doing this because we want our kids to go to college and SOMEONE has to pay for it.

I am just calling a spade a spade. I don't know why this is a taboo topic when this is reality. Are we really saying that we are paying thousands of dollars on equipment, lessons and traveling for the "love of the game?"

It really is OK to say, we are doing all of this in hopes of a college scholarship. I got academic scholarship for my first 2 years of school, so I KNOW first hand how much that helped my mom pay for the last 2 years. It is huge. You have made a huge initial investment, it is natural to want the big pay off.

I just feel like everyone dances around it cause no one wants to hear the statistics or have someone judge them too harshly. I think it this was more openly discussed, we would all ONLY become more educated on the different levels of schools, scholarships available and how to up these kids chances.

Lets just get rid of the Elephant in the Room and stop saying "we are doing what is best" and state it for what it is. It is ok, really, it is.

Click to expand...

I can say without a doubt that I am not doing this for my DDs to get scholarships. I am doing it because they love the game, we love watching them play. It's a healthy pastime, they are good at it and on and on. If I have any ulterior motive it is that my family could not afford, nor had the interest, in giving me the opportunity to see how good I could get as a kid in sports so I want them to have every ounce of support to see how far they go, scholarship/no scholarship- I don't care. As long as they finish their softball knowing mom and dad were behind them 100% then I do not care how far this goes, My dream comes true every day in small chapters. Yesterday's chapter was the little 9 year old who has a fear of being hit by a pitch. She struck out 5 times in a row because she does not hit in the box the way she does at practice. Before her last at bat of a 3 game friendly I called her to the fence as she went from the on deck circle to the box. I just said " I-PAD". Wife saw what I was doing and asked what the bribe was. Gave me her disapproving look and then watched as her young daughter that was struggling socked a hard fly into the gap between left and center. She will remember that moment for the rest of her life.

Squeeze - Awesome story! That is what it is all about. And the look on her face after her hit is something that you and your wife will never forget!

fastpitch26 said:

Squeeze - Awesome story! That is what it is all about. And the look on her face after her hit is something that you and your wife will never forget!

Click to expand...

yes it was.....and she didn't really mention the Ipad, she talked about how good it felt to have everyone say great hit though. the trick is on her though....I was already getting her one for Christmas...Evil dad strikes again.

@Coogan, absolutely true. I have spent way more on this than I should have to this point and we are just playing rec. ball. We have absolutely no thoughts on this taking us anywhere near college. Secretly, I feel like I have something to prove, but I am harnessing that and finding out that in the end my desire, isn't what is "best" for DD. I can own that.

@JJ as with anything and everything in this world, there are no absolutes. No not everyone is trying to get scholarships, but it is in the back of a lot of minds and again, both scenarios are OK. I guess my point is we can't cover every action or inaction in softball OR in life with "we are doing what is best for them," cause it just isn't always so.

Make sure its the mini iPad! They are awesome!

GG

GatorGirl said:

Ego is a HARD pill to swallow. I have swallowed a lot of those pills lately during this learning process.

Click to expand...

Exactly. It is hard to do this as a parent. I get it but at least we can be honest about it.

@JJsqueeze. Love it! My most recent was much cheaper. She was afraid to drop and block for fear of missing the ball and allowing a run to score. I offered $1 per block. She earned $7 in one game. The day became expensive quickly. But she has not moved back from here. Only forward, with more confidence. It was a lot of fun to watch the determination in her eyes and the bold look when approaching me between innings to proclaim her earnings through the games she played in.