Changing Teams

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Oct 15, 2013
2
0
GA
Thanks for all the advice. I figured that whether I was up front about trying out or let the team know afterwards, feelings were going to be hurt. I guess what I was really wondering was that if it's common practice to let your current coach know you are trying out for another team or tell them after the fact?

For the record, our season was complete, so it's not like leaving in the middle of the season. I understand that's a different animal and would expect a negative result.
 
Jun 27, 2011
5,089
0
North Carolina
I guess what I was really wondering was that if it's common practice to let your current coach know you are trying out for another team or tell them after the fact?

I don't think that you are obliged to tell a coach that you are trying out elsewhere unless you have accepted an invitation to continue w/ the team, either directly or implied.

My DD is in a similar situation now. Season is about to end. She is considering other teams for next year. Might leave. Might stay. We haven't disclosed that to anyone on the team. When it comes time to re-up for next season, we owe the team an honest answer. Until then, I consider it to be our right to look around, openly or not.
 
Jul 16, 2013
4,659
113
Pennsylvania
I agree with CB. Decision belongs to DD, but don't hold the team hostage. Be open and honest when the time comes. We recently switched organizations because of HC (long story, but only negative in an otherwise productive and enjoyable year). After we moved, another family decided to follow (didn't talk to them about it, they decided on their own). Recently found out why... They told HC they considered taking DD to tryouts for an A level team. HC called the HC of that A level team and told them that these parents were trouble. Needless to say, once the parents found out, they left. I know them well, and they are far from trouble... Glad to have them on our team now! Someone said it before, softball is a small community. Hard to do or say anything without someone or everyone knowing about it.
 

JAD

Feb 20, 2012
8,231
38
Georgia
High level TB is a pretty small "community" and it is almost IMPOSSIBLE for a girl to try out for another team without her coach finding out about it, so my suggestion would be to be honest and upfront with your DD's current coaches and let them know that she is trying out for other teams before they find out about it second hand.
 
Jul 2, 2013
681
0
High level TB is a pretty small "community" and it is almost IMPOSSIBLE for a girl to try out for another team without her coach finding out about it, so my suggestion would be to be honest and upfront with your DD's current coaches and let them know that she is trying out for other teams before they find out about it second hand.

It is so "closed" that you don't need to "tryout".

I don't talk to coaches. Only when the decision is final. The rest will work negative for the player.

If you have to "tryout". You are only "fishing", and we all know how fishing stories are.
 
Aug 20, 2013
558
0
Interesting thread. When we say "best for DD" what does that actually mean? Best thing to get her to #1 pitcher, a starter, to get looked at, to get recruited or to just be the best person they can be as an adult? I love how driven people are on here and in the travel community. Jealous actually and inspired all at the same time.

But I am always reminded by the NCAA commercials that say 99%(or whatever it is) go pro in something else. There basically is no pro for softball at this point, so I guess we have to consider are we doing what is best for the long term which is raising a person to be a professional adult, raise our grandchildren, defend or procecute criminals, care for us in the hospital and even run our country. I think these kids remember our decisions and model themselves after us. So the "screw the other team" philosophy and every man for himself, really makes me think.

I think at the end of the day, what we mean is What is best to get DD a college scholarship. I think it is ok to say this if this is the goal. Be it, own it. But realistically only 1% of ALL highschool atheletes get ANY sort of scholarship. This isn't 1% of softball players get a full ride, this is out of all sports, both sexes only 1% get a full ride to a D1 school. Athletic Scholarship Statistics | NCSA Athletic Recruiting | NCSA Perspective is key here.

GG
 
Jun 18, 2012
3,183
48
Utah
Claiming to be doing "what is best for DD" doesn't necessarily mean you are actually doing "what is best for DD."

Good intentions do not necessarily lead to good results for DD or a good outcome for DD.
 
Apr 7, 2013
54
8
Changing teams is fine as it done at "appropriate" time, at the end of a Softball season(usually end of summer) or the calendar year. Be careful how much you "change teams", you want to have some level of commitment. There are many life lessons to be learned through playing Sports. Everyone should always want the best situation for there family unit.
 

02Crush

Way past gone
Aug 28, 2011
791
0
The Crazy Train
Interesting thread. When we say "best for DD" what does that actually mean? Best thing to get her to #1 pitcher, a starter, to get looked at, to get recruited or to just be the best person they can be as an adult? I love how driven people are on here and in the travel community. Jealous actually and inspired all at the same time.

But I am always reminded by the NCAA commercials that say 99%(or whatever it is) go pro in something else. There basically is no pro for softball at this point, so I guess we have to consider are we doing what is best for the long term which is raising a person to be a professional adult, raise our grandchildren, defend or procecute criminals, care for us in the hospital and even run our country. I think these kids remember our decisions and model themselves after us. So the "screw the other team" philosophy and every man for himself, really makes me think.

I think at the end of the day, what we mean is What is best to get DD a college scholarship. I think it is ok to say this if this is the goal. Be it, own it. But realistically only 1% of ALL highschool atheletes get ANY sort of scholarship. This isn't 1% of softball players get a full ride, this is out of all sports, both sexes only 1% get a full ride to a D1 school. Athletic Scholarship Statistics | NCSA Athletic Recruiting | NCSA Perspective is key here.

GG

What's best for my DD is that as her parent I raise her to achieve success through hard work, education and effort.What's best for my DD is that I allow her to learn what it means to Fail and if she hates it....Well good maybe another things best for her is that she learns to use this as motivation to not fail again. What's best for my DD is that she learns to work in a group of people where there are different personalities and agendas. What's best for my DD is that she understand how to be confident yet somehow remain humble. What's best for my DD is that she know she is not entitled and that before bailing on anything she try to work through the situation.
99% of our DD's will go pro in LIFE. I love it for those who play in college. And I wish them well. But sport is about more than college. You have about a 50-1 odds of going to college on academic monies than sport. I wish so many were as interested in DD's best interest when it comes to this topic. If we were many of us would miss a lot of practice due to homework and studying out of "what's best for DD". apologies just saw the soapbox and could not resist to step up on it.
BTW, recently a friend told me about changing teams cause DD was so unhappy in the situation. She sat at least 1 game per event. She did not play in a "prime" spot. However now on this new team she is not having fun. She is on a "Elite" team. But she does not go to school with anyone on the team. She lives no where close to them and is struggling to relate in everyday life. Gee, I wonder what was best for DD? Sometimes we really do loose sight of things and place our "bests" on our kids. Maybe, I get it at an older age where things change based on many factors but I see this stiff happening constantly on 10U, 12U and it drives me nuts.
 
Last edited:
Aug 20, 2013
558
0
Crush it sounds like parents were unhappy with the situation and thus the change. I really try and remind myself that these kids(at least at my kids age of 9), don't see all of the drama we see or create. In reality the situation was fine for my DD last fall, but I wasn't happy with how things were going and being handled and I have accepted that this was MY problem, not hers. I thought about changing leagues for her betterment, but then realized, it was to make me feel more comfy not her.

Ego is a HARD pill to swallow. I have swallowed a lot of those pills lately during this learning process.
 

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