Burn Out for Parents

Ok,

#1. Have any of you parents had the "burned out" feeling? I feel like this Fall ball season has really taken a toll on me and my love/obsession of softball. I have been doing this for about 15 years (2 dd's) and all of a sudden this fall I just feel like I am over it. DD loves this sport and works so hard on it EVERYDAY! Am I a bad parent for feeling this way?

I think I am bitter because we have not had a break. It went straight from Summer to Fall and then will go straight into HS ball and then right back to Summer. At what point does mom get to sit on the couch and watch "The Goldbergs"?

When will I have a chance to refill my checking account?

When will I get to go on a vacation that doesnt revolve around a ball field?

Will she be recruited this tournament?

How many camps do you want to go to kid?

Ugh...I hate hotels, I hate drive-thru's, and I hate that bottled water cost $2 at the ballpark!

What is a mom to do???

HELP ME!!!

The closer you get to the finish line the stronger the headwinds seem. nothing great is ever easy so push through like you know your going to. Im with you, there are times when I have to talk myself into getting on that bucket. Just get the feeling that one day when I'm old these will be some of the memories that make me smile and I can look back and feel good about my effort in life. Does not mean I'm not justified in complaining the whole way. LOL. The Hotel thing is funny, I remember going to nationals this year and at check in the clerk said "so you will be with us for eight nights" all I could do is look back at her and say REALLY?.

I'm at the opposite end, just finished my 2nd year of softball with my girls and 1st year of summer and fall TB. I still can't get enough of it right now. I sympathize with you but at this stage can't image how I'd be after 15 years. During the dog days of summer, after 4 straight weekends of tourneys with another 2 weeks to go before our 1st break DW and I felt a bit like you did. But we just reminded each other that the girls softball lives are limited and how lucky we were to be able to share their love of the game together as a family. To help, I helped DW set up a 'girls night out' and DW set up a poker game with my buddies. Wasn't anything fancy just a night away from SB. Even 1 night away from SB really helped.

Hang in there, you are not a bad parent, you are just human. The fact that you question yourself and feel a little guilty because your DD works so hard at it tells me you are a good caring mom.

As to travel and hotels, the "girls room" was the greatest thing as DD got older. I just packed her up with some food and walking-around money and paid my 1/4th of a room. Saved me tons and my lawn survived those summers.

I had the same thing happen this summer- really. I thought I would never feel like I was done, but I was. Just tired, too many ups and downs. But DD is gung ho, so I vented to my husband and a bit on-line, I felt better, got some encouragement and am still at it. The darkness has receded. I have gotten some book tapes to listen to when I drive and sometimes when I am hanging out and that has helped me too.

Hopefully you have lightened your load a bit by sharing it with the DFP forum. Hang in there.

This is one of the problems with the insistance on playing 250 games covering 12 months of the year. After a few years both the players and parents can start to feel burned out, no matter how much they love the sport.

I still feel there ought to be a mandatory break, say from the time the last Nationals end until the middle of September. No games, no practices, not even tryouts. Don't know how you'd enforce it, but even one month off would allow some time to recharge the batteries and come back with a fresh outlook.

As it is, some teams are now holding their tryouts before others have even finished their seasons. If a kid on the latter team wants to go for the former team, she has to do it while still attached to this year's team. Eventually, tryouts for the next season are probably going to move to April or May, meaning you could be playing this season knowing this isn't even the team you'll be with next season.

It's madness. Again, a little distance between last season and this season would go a long way toward overcoming the feeling you're having.

If she is happy playing that many games, let her go with another family. If she is tired, too, she really needs a break. I feel that all players need a break to rejuvenate.

Time to let her travel with others and you can stay at home to recharge your batteries. That won't help the check book, but oh well !

Here I am starting to pout realizing that I only have 5 more years of this ride and then it is over. Different perspective. I couldn't imagine life now without hitting lessons, pitching lessons, team practices, and tournaments. This is only a small window of my life in comparison with the big picture. I am just enjoying the ride and feel blessed every day we continue down this road.

As far as the check book, this will all seem like a cheap investment in your DDs in 10 or 15 years. The money spent will be a drop in the bucket compared to the quality time spent with your kids. All this while providing them with a good, productive, and "clean" hobby/sport to keep them from going off track with other undesirable things during their impressionable years.

We have 3 DDs playing and we coach 2 of the TB teams. Oldest is in College (freshman) still playing and youngest is in 12U ball. We travel almost every weekend. Burn out is a real enemy. For me, last weekend was the end of the maddness till next spring. Sure, winter will be practices, lessons, and such. However, middle DD plays HS basketball also (which is just starting). Youngest DD swims club swimming too (which is just starting). So checking account still yells "mercy"!

I was on the verge of burn-out traveling to St. Louis last weekend for the showcase tourney until I got there. I had to scrape together 3 pick-up players just to field a team. It was stressful until it all came together on the Wednesday before... First game was Friday at noon. My rejuvenation came from the team. It was our last tourney together. The kids had a blast and we played very well. The pick-up players were so excited to play and thanked me over & over for the opportunity. These are quality kids and quality families AND very good ball players. We beat a team that throttled us in September so that was sweet. It made me reflect on why we do this... Its for the kids!

Remember, your time with your DDs is very short. Enjoy every moment of it. When the ride is over and you look back at all those photos, medals, trophies, tourney shirts, and uniforms your eyes will tear up & your gut will feel empty. So, savor every minute of it now.

BB875,
I can see where coaching at the upper levels while still having DD playing adds to the stress.
Good luck and best wishes!

Your last paragraph in the post above sums it up for me. Even today the pictures from 6U and 8U evoke that response here.