Rec league and TB team?

DD played 2 seasons of rec then a cpl of seasons of travel and rec and a cpl seasons of just travel. Once you get a taste of competitive tournament ball rec becomes boring. Last spring rec season she played 15 games. Spring/summer travel season she played 78games.

As for the daddy daughter time, there is plenty to be had without coaching them. One of my gripes with coaching is that I have to divide my free time up between my daughters and other girls. I'm not going to coach again until DDs are done with softball. I'm selfish like that, I want to give them all of my time and attention. And I want to actually watch games for fun. At practices I found I spent much more time with other kids because they need more improvement. By not coaching I get to observe practices and games with more focus on my daughters and spend all of my time working exclusively with them.
As for developing them to a certain level and then they move on.... that's kind of the point. As for when to move to TB, I think 12U is the perfect time.

We played both last fall. It was tough on DD. Strikes at the eyes or shoe laces 6 inches outside in rec. We had to miss a lot of rec practice and a few games. Even at 10 she was one of best 2 or 3 on 13U team so they would rather have had her when they can versus not at all. My son plays for a little league that works with a local travel team to allow players to do both, but in softball haven't seen it work out very well.

We sought out TB two years ago when our DD wanted to play more than just spring and fall. She missed playing on a team in the summer. She played rec ball this past spring just for pitching reps. She had a ton of fun and we were lucky that the rec ball coached scheduled practices around our TB so she could be there. He was very respectful of what she was being instructed by her TB coach and even allowed her to teach the girls some plays. We were at a softball field 7 days a week for two months, lol. The TB HC was unhappy to say the least. But we did what we felt was right for her.

One of the biggest things DD loves about travel ball is she plays all year and faces good competition. She plays with girls whom have drive and are competitive by nature; not the same with all rec players in our area. She won't find a TB teammate picking daisies or doing kart wheels in the outfield.

Our discussion with DD prior to accepting the offer from TB team 2yrs ago consisted of expectations, huge commitment and the sacrifies she would have to make. She rarely goes to a non teammate b-day party in the summer because she is playing or practicing. Then my DH and I talked out our level of commitment. Our schedule revolves around school activites and TB. Softball comes first. So, not only is it a huge commitment from her but the both of you as well. I would talk with her about it, gage her level of commitment; if she is all in go to bat for her.

His fear may be if she plays TB and is coached by someone else it will effect their relationship. Even though she would be playing at a higher level under a different coach she will still need to practice outside of team practices. There is plenty of opportunity for him to continue to help her.

Sounds like his opinions are more about himself than they are about DD's best interests and DD's wishes.

While it is certainly possible to do both, in my experience I have seen girls do better by making a clean break from rec ball. There are lots of reasons why:

1. No more "playing down" to the level of competition.
2. Spending time they would have spent in rec ball doing things like going to a pro hitting instructor and/or pitching coach
3. More time for schoolwork.

These are just some of them. My TB teams actually arrange workouts amongst themselves with just a few of the girls ... say, infielders or pitchers & catchers .... where the level of instruction is high and so is the level of play. The girls love this and look forward to the informal sessions as much as they do full-team practices. They learn lots, too!

If she is willing to do the work and has shown great improvement like you say in the OP, I think your DD deserves a shot at playing TB exclusively. She'll be happier for it and you'll see her get even better.

DD played both for her 14U years. The first year, after tasting the environment of TB-A the rec ball quickly became a frustrating environment for my admittedly highly competitive DD. The second year we still entered rec as everyone organization is always short pitching. But we pulled away with many conflicting schedule dates between the two where we had to go TB.

To be honest. By the second year 14U I really didn't want DD to be in rec anymore just on a plain ole safety basis. DD was going to hurt rec girls with line drives batted and fastballs pitched that snuck a little too inside. (It's almost criminal to bring a talented TB batter into rec ball with the likes of a Demarini Phoenix bat - I mean seriously....)

DD played rec until she was 11 and I was HC of the team. We moved to TB and I became an AC with the TB team. 2 years ago, her old rec team needed a pitcher so the new HC asked us to join and give them a hand. Because of TB time commitments, she made axactly one rec practice before the first game. The first game of a double-header, she sat the entire first game while their other 14u pitcher was throwing rainbows and getting rocked or walking batters. The second game, DD started as pitcher with 9 Ks and no walks. 4th inning, she walked the first batter and HC pulled her immediately. She sat the rest of the game. We never went to another rec game or practice that year. We were asked again last year to help out DD's hitting coach's rec team and we agreed but let him know TB came first. She helped them out but missed all of the practices, 1/2 of the games and both year end rec tourneys. She did re-kindle a lot of old friendships. One thing for sure, there was a vast difference in skillsets between the two.

As for our TB team, we are a low A team working on becoming a high A team. The team rules/Code of Conduct everyone has to sign before accepting an offer is that the TB team comes first except in school sports or family issues and we try to work around those if at all possible. Even when we were on a B level team a couple of years ago, if the players were playing rec and TB, TB came first. If they found out a player skipped or missed practice for rec ball, the player sat the better part of a weekend tourney. If they missed a tourney because of rec ball, they were asked to leave the team. I'm not saying it is this way everywhere or for all/most TB teams. I AM saying that you need to understand the time commitments involved in TB and you also need to know the ramifications of playing both TB and rec ball.

However, there are other questions you should be asking as well. From what you have posted, it sounds as if your X is going to fight this tooth and nail. With your DD in the middle, how will this affect her? Since it revolves around softball, will this affect her love for the game or possibly destroy it?

Consider that money is tight and he possibly cannot afford it.

Consider that he may also treasure the father daughter time he is now getting and unwilling to give it up.

Consider that he knows his DD does not really have the athletic ability to excel in softball, and is best for her to just have fun at this stage in her life. Possibly pick up travel next year, or a following year.

Posters have made huge jumps to conclusion about this mans character.

During the spring, Mojo played TB full-time and also played a few games for a rec team, which allowed her to get circle time and to help out a rec team that had many struggles.

During the fall, she is playing TB along with rec soccer. Soccer's her best sport, but softball is her first love, so her TB team has priority.

She will stay with her TB team in the spring and may pitch part-time for a rec team again. She hasn't decided yet, but it's an arrangement that works for our family.

It is one of the few things he and DD have in common and enjoy doing together. I don't want to be the thing that ruins that either.

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First, I commend you for being understanding and having the interests of your DD.

Second, this is not as uncommon as you might think. One parent (usually the Daddy) loves coaching. The DD is ready to play softball at a higher level, but Daddy doesn't want to give up coaching. In your specific situation, it is your DD going from rec to TB. In others, it is a DD going from a 12U C team to a 12U A team, or from a 14U team to a 16U team. The dynamics are the same.

Third, it might help if your X understands that will need to more time with him if she plays TB, not less.

In order for a DD to become "good" at TB, she has to do a lot of individual work on her own. My DD started playing TB at 13YOA. From then until she went to college, My DD and I spent about 1 to 2 hours a day, 5 days a week, 46 weeks of the year, practicing "one on one". On top of that, she and I spent hours driving to tournaments together. It brought me and my DD closer. (DD#3 played travel basketball...same thing.)

He will need to be with her every night hitting her grounders and fly balls, and then practicing hitting. Then, if your DD becomes good enough to play in college, then your X would get to enjoy that experience as well.

So, if your X really wants to get closer to his DD, he would be better off in the long run with her playing TB. It really does give the Daddy and the DD something in common.