What Does an Offer Really Mean?

SoftSocDad said:

Your DD received and accepted an offer to play on a team during the fall season. You're saying she wasn't cut, but that the coach told you she won't get any playing time this spring. In a situation like that, he's doing you a favor by allowing you to go out and find another place for her to play before the season gets going.

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Doing me a favor would have meant him telling me this during or right after the fall season. Like I stated the player that replaced my DD came aboard in early Oct. There have been a number of teams advertising and holding tryouts for openings they had after the fall season had some kids quit/leave or change their mind but that's all dried up now. Club tryouts and team selections are over. My daughter now has to go back to rec ball for the summer cause there's nowhere else to go.

If I had had any idea at all this would have happened I would have continued searching for a home for my daughter during fall ball. I had no idea.

EP-a few of us were in near similar situations last year. My DD had a coach tell her this exact thing right efore our first tourney. Come to find out he wanted a different player on the team in the first place and targeted my DD to run her off the team. The other girl joined the team anyway and the team crumbled. My DD did not quit, she loved her team and ended up being the star in the end.

He made a commitment to coach all the players, he failed your DD.

EP Dad said:

Doing me a favor would have meant him telling me this during or right after the fall season.

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Agreed. Or he could've told you of the possibility of it happening long before that.

PA SB Dad said:

You expected that the head coach offered your DD a spot on the team and that he had your DD's best interest at heart like you do. Unfortunately, he didn't - he had his own best interest at heart.

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Running a travel team like a college team is rarely in the best interest of the girls who play the game. I've met very few girls who want to play on a team like that, yet selfish, ego-driven coaches create these situations all the time and rationalize it. If the girl doesn't produce, she doesn't play. If the coach doesn't pick players who produce, he just keeps looking. The ASA should take more leadership in setting guidelines for coaching ethics in travel ball, imo.

Does your area have a local online softball forum? I'd post her year and see if anyone still has roster spots to fill. There are always teams looking on al.com, which is the statewide forum where I live. Even if there are no actual spots available, you might have some pick-up opportunities during the summer, which could lead to roster spot.

There are different levels of TB. High level A teams (going to ASA Nationals or PGF Nationals), low A (plays ASA qualifiers, but will probably not get a berth unless the stars and moon align), high B (plays some A tournaments and usually loses, plays B tournaments and usually wins), low B (plays .500 or below in B tournaments), and C (usually first year TB teams or rec All Star teams).

The higher the level of the TB team, the greater the chance that the coaching staff is "playing to win". High level A-teams are run like college teams - best 9 on the field and constantly looking for new players who could be a "difference maker". Parents need to understand the differences and the team "philosophy" before they join. Joining a high level A-team when the player and parents have a B-level "mentality" is a recipe for disaster.

lstorie1971 said:

Does your area have a local online softball forum? I'd post her year and see if anyone still has roster spots to fill. There are always teams looking on al.com, which is the statewide forum where I live. Even if there are no actual spots available, you might have some pick-up opportunities during the summer, which could lead to roster spot.

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I agree we have forums here that advertize the need for players or position tryouts, seems like someone is always looking for players, and you can always post that you are looking for a team. The other thing I would do is these forums are constantly advertizing the need for pick up/fill in players, you would be surprised how many girls fill in and eventually end up on one of the teams.

JAD said:

The higher the level of the TB team, the greater the chance that the coaching staff is "playing to win". High level A-teams are run like college teams - best 9 on the field and constantly looking for new players who could be a "difference maker". Parents need to understand the differences and the team "philosophy" before they join. Joining a high level A-team when the player and parents have a B-level "mentality" is a recipe for disaster.

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This is good info, and I don't disagree w/ your definitions. We might disagree about the value of 'high-A' teams, especially at younger ages, but that's another discussion. I'll just reiterate my belief that those who run these kinds of 'high-A' teams are ethically bound to make their philosophies very clear up-front. Too often, they don't, kids are hurt, and the coaches rationalize by saying, "I always said playing times is earned.'' That's not enough, imo. Players and parents need to know it's run like a college team, that some players might travel 100 miles to a tournament and never get in a game, or that the third baseman for the last 8 months might get replaced by a better third baseman that came along in May if that's what it takes to qualify for ASA nationals or accomplish whatever high-end goal they're chasing. IMO, not enough 'high-A' coaches are forthcoming about this.

JAD said:

There are different levels of TB. High level A teams (going to ASA Nationals or PGF Nationals), low A (plays ASA qualifiers, but will probably not get a berth unless the stars and moon align), high B (plays some A tournaments and usually loses, plays B tournaments and usually wins), low B (plays .500 or below in B tournaments), and C (usually first year TB teams or rec All Star teams).

The higher the level of the TB team, the greater the chance that the coaching staff is "playing to win". High level A-teams are run like college teams - best 9 on the field and constantly looking for new players who could be a "difference maker". Parents need to understand the differences and the team "philosophy" before they join. Joining a high level A-team when the player and parents have a B-level "mentality" is a recipe for disaster.

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This is not one of those High Level "A" Teams. In fact at least one set of parents on this team does not want to travel out of state for a tournament. I think they're going to one in a neighboring state but that's it.

Is it an "A" team? Yes. But, my daughter nor I signed up for a High Level College Style "A" Team. My daughter needs to play and needs to develop and that's what we thought we were getting based on what we were sold and what we were told.

I know who the high level "A" teams are in the area and if my daughter was that good I'd be all for it. At least I'm not one of the parents who thinks his daughter is that good when she really isn't.

All I want is for my kid to be able to play with other kids of the same level as her and have good coaching that can develop her skills.

Oh, and I don't have a "B-Level" Mentality. However, I do believe if you make the team you deserve to play a the 14U level. The kids are still developing. There's plenty of time for 18U level ball where only the top 9 get a spot. I saw too many times over the years at 10's and 12's where kids didn't even get to play and that's just wrong.

We have a local forum. My DD will play this summer but it will likely be at a community based "B" level. In all likelihood she's a tweener. Not quite good enough for whatever "A" is around here but not exactly happy playing "B" level either.

We'll be ok. I really appreciate everyone's comments and support.

EP: Keep the group informed on the D's progress during the season.

I'm willing to wager you a ice cold drink of your choosing (Coke, Pepsi, Ginger Ale or the adult brand of your choosing) this situation will be the best thing to happen to the DD. Why:

She will be picked up by a local A/B+ team and play in local events.......and play lots of innings. The more reps, the more she improves and gains confidence in her game and ability.

Come try-out time in August/September - she'll have multiple teams vying for her for next season

Best of Luck!

Bruce