DD is a pain (this is a rant)

she is small (15 y.o., 5'-2") and throws well but not particularly hard (55) playing U18. Lately we'll go out to pitch and she throws like 1 pitch and shes asking how her speed is. then with almost every pitch she has an explanation of what shes doing or what went wrong or why it didn't go where it was supposed to go. what I want to say is "NOBODY CARES!! JUST THROW THE DAMN BALL!!!" but I just remain quiet and try not to get aggrevated. after a little of this I try to encourage her by saying the last pitch doesn't matter, adjust and move on. I have told her before that she needs to throw thousands of pitches to get it right, so just keep working. Like in Finding Nemo where Dory says "just keep swimming" I tell her pitching is like that, just keep pitching and dont think, just do.

Now she is more self critical because A) until recently she hasn't been working as hard as she thinks she has and B) in games shes having less success and seeing less innings so she feels that she is sliding backwards and that the coaches have no faith in her.

In fairness to her, the coaches haven't been fair to her and that's where her head problems start. putting her in against a Gold team with two third-string middle infielders to back her up, getting called in late in the game after the momentum has shifted the other way with bases loaded and no outs. The other two pitchers don't get treated like this. DW is furious and wants to leave the program and pitching and maybe even softball.

I'm tired of this crap. I bust my hump working all day, get home exhausted, go work with her and then have to listen to the constant babble of excuses that she says arent excuses. I am becoming drained both emotionally and financially. Tournament ball has required me to take every Friday off this summer so far, sometimes with only a few days notice (like this week).

Now after writing and rereading this, I see I need to tell her that I am toast and while I am happy to catch for her, just jeep it simple and don't expect me to talk about every goddam pitch. I need to talk with the HC too and let him know before the next tournament.

Life would be a lot easier if she didnt want to be a pitcher.

Thanks for letting me vent!

with almost every pitch she has an explanation of what shes doing or what went wrong or why it didn't go where it was supposed to go

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I see this as a good thing. If she is able verbalize what happened on the last pitch, then she is theoretically able to make a correction. Besides, she may be verbalizing to herself more than anything. Some kids learn that way. It may be time to buy a good MP3 player for yourself.

Another thought: Are you or one of her coaches the guy who "coaches" her between every pitch in practice or games? In other words, did she learn this behavior from somebody else?

I agree that it is a good thing that she is able to recognize and self-diagnose, just seems like she may be going overboard with it. I don't see any other pitchers being so talkative, so I sometimes perceive it as making excuses.

I never coached between pitches, my style is to work them thru everything in practice and then provide minimal guidance during the games. She's at a level in pitching now where I don't know enough to help with most stuff, so the only thing I criticize is her criticism of herself. (ex- I call strikes from letters to knees, she insists that they only call waist to halfway down the shin)
in the past, sometimes her coach will watch her practice and then start talking to her about trying different stuff at which time every pitch is critiqued, but it doesn't happen a lot. she is very excitable about softball so she likes to talk about it, the only problem is she winds up being her own worst critic which starts a downward spiral of frustration.

Pitching fair? What sport has she been playing, and you watching on your Friday off, for the last 15 years?

She just needs to keep practicing and hang in there, I do think it goes in cycles. If you both are getting to wound up about it maybe take a week off and see if it recharges everyone.

IMO ask her questions back, if she ask about speed ask her how she felt it was, what did you feel and why do you think the speed was fast or slow. Make her think for herself; if a certain pitch does not break ask how she felt the spin was, ask her why the spin was off or how it felt when the spin and movement was what she is looking for.

Being able to think on your feet and make adjustments is an important parting of softball especially pitching.

obbay, please take this in the way it is intended. All of your gripes about being tired and being a bucketdad pale in comparison to how much you are going to miss it. Your dd is playing 18U. You don't have that much more time left catching her. Yesterday, my dd said that she was going to go hit. It was almost giddy. If I were you, instead of being hacked off at your child, I'd be sitting there taking it all in. Times in your life and with your child will be changing drastically in the near future and you are going to long for these days. JMHO!

Cannonball- Thanks, fortunately I do understand what you're saying but need to be reminded once in awhile!

Isn't being put in late in the game with bases loaded a sign of trust from the coaches? I love the fact that my DD is the one who is called in whenever we get in trouble.

As for analyzing her pitches during practice.....I spend at least 10 minutes every practice reminding my DD of things she has been taught 1 million times w/regards to adjustments and trying to get her to actually think about what she is doing a little and get off autopilot.

I'm with you on the sick of TB and tired or spending time and money though. In the last two weeks I have been a negative creep. Trying to dig deep and stay positive for 10 more days until the girls are done for the season.

obbay said:

(ex- I call strikes from letters to knees, she insists that they only call waist to halfway down the shin).

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If you're seeing strikes called in games from the letters to the knees, we're moving to Massachusetts!!

This season (at least in my little neck of the SoCal woods) I'm seeing mid-thigh to ankle on a consistent basis...DD would have thrown 3 or 4 no-no's already if she had a PU that called belt high strikes...

Seriously though - JMHO - adjust your strikes to your DD's opinion...

I get it! Parenting teenagers can be exhausting. Last night DD's curfew was 1 hour earlier because she had missed her regular curfew last week (by only about 3 minutes, but it's one of my few "no excuses" rules). Anyway, last night DD knew that she had to make it home on time or have her curfew shortened yet again. The whole point of this rule is so DH and I can get to sleep and not have to worry about DD's curfew. About 1/2 hour before DD had to be home, and just as I was drifting off to sleep, my phone started pinging with texts. "Leaving now!" "In the car!" "my friend drives like a grandma!" "Just turned down our street!" "Home very soon!". And then she rang the doorbell just to announce that she was indeed home by her "punishment curfew" and was looking forward to returning to her regular curfew time. By then I was wide awake and couldn't fall back asleep until 2 a.m. I'm exhausted this morning!

Hang in there obbay - as the song goes, "you're gonna miss this when it's gone"