DD is a pain (this is a rant)

It happens and just like most, at times it felt so challenging with the schedules and expense and i've almost raised the white flag more than once.
But it can be very gratifying as well. Yesterday after practice, DD said something priceless. She said "thanks, dad". i said, for what? she pointed at the ball field (for practicing with her).
IMHO - priceless

It is priceless. I have mentioned on here before, but my DD had spinal surgery last July 31st, so her softball career was cut short. Last Saturday, she went to an out of town tourny with a friend. I woke up to a text from her saying "thanks for all the days you spent practicing with me and watching me play" and that she has never been to a tournament and just sat and watched. She told me how much she missed it and our time together, and the part that tore me up was it was the first time that she had really ever said how much our time meant to her also.

Obbay, girls that aren't feeling good about themselves don't play good. It is a terrible downward nose dive, because as they continue to not play good, they continue to feel bad about themselves. Heck even when they are playing good, girls are always walking the fine line of uncertainty. It seems impossible sometimes to get them out of the slump too. You can tell them it's a slump, tell them they are doing fine and let it go, but they act like you are just blowin smoke...but that is exactly what they need. To these girls their sport is their life, and many times it can seem like their whole life is against them. They need to know mom and dad are still on their side.
My personal findings are that you can have these long talks with them about how they will be fine, how you love them, how they will come out of it, and etc. Then you feel like hitting them with a 2x4 because you laid your heart out to them and they argue back! My wife goes ape sometimes! I just remain calm and tell them that I will be their biggest fan and love them whether they like it or not. They still try to test it, but I promise that when they are alone they are playing your words over and over and smiling to themselves.
Then out of the blue this crazy game will pay them back with a shutout or big game, they will feel great, the slump will be over and they forget they ever had a struggle.

Then after the talk, go get into your photo albums of when she was little. Heck that was only about 10 years ago. Then ask yourself, "is her coach being fair"? No? What would the dad of the little girl in the photos have done if some other horse's butt of a man treated her bad? I know I get desensitized about how coaches/teachers treat my 15 year dd "in the name of toughing her up". Recently though it really hit me, no one deserves to be treated poorly, so we just walk away from those kind of people and trust the right people will show up.

Here is the thing. My newer students are always surprised at what I think is a good pitch. They, their coaches and the crowd want every pitch to be belt high and down the middle of the plate. I actually tell them - "Well, I might as well throw the ball out to the fence, because that is where it is going to go." Then, they will throw something 50 mph that hits 10 feet up on the back stop and I am clapping and cheering.

I want them to throw. I want them to think. I want them, to visualize the pitch before it is thrown. I want them to adjust. Heck, move your feet on the rubber, if you need to.

I had a coach tell a 12 yo pitcher, that her pitching was shitty. Thankfully, I had a scorebook and pitch count on her and I sat her down and showed her where the errors occurred. Her pitching was excellent. Errors killed them and she had never had the term "Unearned runs" explained to her.

By the way, I never liked for a coach to put my DD in to pitch, after the game was blown. As Stacie Mahoe tweeted this morning, "The pitcher that is in the circle is the ace." (no matter where she ranks on the team.)

I would love it if my dd did this! Please look at her critiquing her own pitches as a very good thing. This means she know what's going wrong and hopefully how to fix it!


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P.S - sorry about the off-topic earlier. Man, I was tired. Don't give up on pitching. DD went through the same thing when she was 15. She was pitching in 16U and, being undersize, was struggling to control hitters (She was maybe 5 feet tall, 95 lbs). Two years later she is 5'5 and 120 lbs of muscle. What a difference it has made - she is able to control hitters at 18U and get strike outs.

What I've noticed is that the girls who are pitching at 18U and beyond are not necessarily the ones who were head-turning flame throwers a 15 (though some are). It seems to be the ones who WANT to be pitchers; the ones who do the work and enjoy it. It sounds like your daughter enjoys it - so keep at it! (sometimes when I was catching DD's practice sessions I would fantasize about the kind of house I would buy if I won the lottery - it kept my mind occupied and put me in a happy place!)

Indiana said:

P.S - sorry about the off-topic earlier. Man, I was tired. Don't give up on pitching. DD went through the same thing when she was 15. She was pitching in 16U and, being undersize, was struggling to control hitters (She was maybe 5 feet tall, 95 lbs). Two years later she is 5'5 and 120 lbs of muscle. What a difference it has made - she is able to control hitters at 18U and get strike outs.

What I've noticed is that the girls who are pitching at 18U and beyond are not necessarily the ones who were head-turning flame throwers a 15 (though some are). It seems to be the ones who WANT to be pitchers; the ones who do the work and enjoy it. It sounds like your daughter enjoys it - so keep at it! (sometimes when I was catching DD's practice sessions I would fantasize about the kind of house I would buy if I won the lottery - it kept my mind occupied and put me in a happy place!)

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Something I mentioned before...

One time DD 3 and I were watching a HS game with DD 3's PC. PC's DD was pitching for her HS team. She will soon be pitching for a Juco team.

PC pointed out 3 girls on the team who used to be better pitchers back in middle school, and some even pitched as late as jr. year of HS. Not one of those girls still pitched. His DD was pitching because she was the last one who wanted to pitch.

it might help to explain the difference between "practice" and "games".

Practice is to perfect technique. Pitching during a game is just pitching and nothing else...the mind has to be focused on the batter or the mitt, not on technique.

Today my 12 Year old DD attended an open tryout with her new regional "A" team that she just made via a private tryout.
DD has been a lot over the past 4 years learning to pitch and refine her hitting. Today among the 30 girls who attended she shined. Not just shined but lit up the whole field.
All of the pain, tears and blood of catching her and tossing balls to her for years seemed like nothing in comparison to the pride she felt. On the ride home this overly humble child turned to me and said "Dad, I think I was one of the best girls out there today". I turned to her and said "was all that you worked for worth it?" She looked at me and said "Yes... now I understand".
I felt your pain in your post and want you to know that many of us feel that way.
DD likes to talk when she is struggling.. she tried the blame game and I always tell her the old Lou Holts quote... "Don't tell anyone about your problems... cause 90% of the people don't care and the other 10% are glad you got em".
Hang in there!

BT3100 said:

I turned to her and said "was all that you worked for worth it?" She looked at me and said "Yes... now I understand".

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The best conversation ever!