How to raise a circle princess

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Do any of you tend to go towards the extreme opposite?

I've coached my DDs softball, basketball and soccer teams since she was 4 (now 10) and she thinks im much harder on her than anyone else. My lineups are pretty simple, my first 3 batters are my highest on base percentage girls (lets start off well). Then from that point i go strong hitter, weaker hitter and alternate all the way through the lineup. Normally my DD hits 3rd or 4th as she is the power hitter on the team but has a tendency to go hot/cold (some days shes your classic Jose Canseco, its either to the fence or a strikeout). In a recent tournament where she went 0/3 in the first game, i slid her down to 8th for the second game and she quickly pointed out that other girls are usually allowed 2 or 3 games before they are moved. The move actually worked out as she went 2/2 with a HR and double and the bottom of our lineup was very productive....she doesnt see it that way though.

It did however get me to thinking, i do hold her to a higher standard than most of the girls. The question is though, do we tend to do this because we actually hold our own DDs to a higher standard or because we want to make sure the other parents see that our own DDs are held to at least the same standard as theirs? Thats a question i havent figured out yet.

I am the exact same way, I always want to make sure I am putting my team in the best position to win, and that I am being fair. I am harder on my daughter than anyone else, I all it reverse daddy ball lol.
 
Oct 22, 2009
1,781
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I am the exact same way, I always want to make sure I am putting my team in the best position to win, and that I am being fair. I am harder on my daughter than anyone else, I all it reverse daddy ball lol.

Reverse daddy ball has to have checks and balances too. I have a pitching dad who has two daughters pitching. He's also the head coach. Both his girls are very big, and very strong and quite good pitchers. They are young and need a lot of mechanical work and a lot of pitching time. But because he is so afraid of being accused of favoritism he rarely pitches them.

Whenever he does pitch them, I always hear from other parents how great they are, and how he is crazy for not using them.
As of right now he's actually discontinued lessons for them.
 
Reverse daddy ball has to have checks and balances too. I have a pitching dad who has two daughters pitching. He's also the head coach. Both his girls are very big, and very strong and quite good pitchers. They are young and need a lot of mechanical work and a lot of pitching time. But because he is so afraid of being accused of favoritism he rarely pitches them.

Whenever he does pitch them, I always hear from other parents how great they are, and how he is crazy for not using them.
As of right now he's actually discontinued lessons for them.

I totally agree with you with checks and balances. I have seen it taken to far as well.
 
Aug 12, 2014
644
43
(It seems to bother parents more than the girls on one of my DD teams.)

The kids know who's earned the circle/playing time, spots in the top of the order, etc. and who hasn't. If a coach's kid is batting second or playing SS or whatever because she deserves it, the other kids know. And they all know when a coach's kid is getting preferential treatment. They probably won't say anything to the coach, but they know when it really is unfair.
 
Dec 5, 2012
4,143
63
Mid West
Im guilty of being harder on my DD than the others. I expect her to conduct herself as a reflection of me. Its hard for me to constantly preach to the players about moving forward and to focus on what they've learned, rather than what happened to them. If my DD doesn't lead by example in what I preach as her coach since she was in Tball, it will look like I'm just blowing hot air to the other players!
 
Mar 26, 2013
1,934
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I think the worst princesses I saw were ones that teamed up with their mom to get their way with the dad (head coach).
 
May 7, 2008
8,506
48
Tucson
My goal, when I coached my own children, was to coach so that no one knew who my kid was. I still remember not putting my son on Allstars as an 11 yo. One parent told me I was nuts. But, he was not as good as the 2 boys, I selected and that was the truth.
 
Nov 26, 2010
4,784
113
Michigan
Proud of my dd for not being one of those circle princesses, her sophomore year of HS the HS coach did not pitch her, and she didn't play one of her other normal positions. All she did was play as hard as she could in RF and made all county and all district for her efforts. Never heard a word of complaint, she wasn't thrilled, but did not complain.
 
May 29, 2013
226
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So it's obvious when you have a princess on your hands, but maybe it's not so obvious when there is a case of reverse daddy ball. How does one go about finding out? What are the checks and balances? Is it stats, or feedback, or just something a relatively intelligent person should be able to figure out?
 

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