Pitchers Parents

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Feb 17, 2014
7,152
113
Orlando, FL
Almost all "good" pitchers have parents who are very emotionally invested in their child's success. It takes a tremendous amount of work for the child to develop in the pitcher. The parents usually have a lot of time, money and energy invested in the child's development as a pitcher.

So, naturally, these parents have a hard time "emotionally distancing" themselves from the child, and letting the child succeed or fail on her own. Some parents want to control everything to insure that their child succeeds.

The worst are those who don't understand competition--i.e., sometimes you win and sometimes you lose, but you play the games even though you might lose because they are supposed to be fun.

Speaking from experience over the last 6 or so years it was not about ensuring success. Rather it was to keep idiots from screwing her up. I was told time and time again to let go and turn her over to someone else if only for the sole reason of having someone else coach her and prepare her for college. I tried but unfortunately with too many of the coaches out there you could write what they knew about pitching on the head of a pin. The good ones freely admit this, the ones that won't should be avoided at all costs.

I remember a tryout with a well known "Gold Team" where the coach upon hearing from my DD that her go-to pitch was a riseball, proclaimed that college coaches did not want riseball pitchers and she should learn to throw a drop. At the ripe age of 14 she proceeded to throw BP against his 18U "Gold Team" team and not a single player got the ball out of the infield. Needless to say passed on the offer to play with them.

The reality is that very few TB teams and even fewer HS teams have the coaching expertise to develop pitchers. These coaches rely on the parents to invest (heavily) in the development of pitchers with outside resources, then they complain when the parent takes exception to them mucking with the end product.
 
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Dec 12, 2012
1,668
0
On the bucket
It is more relaxing for me when someone else is pitching, other than DD.
The strikeouts are more satisfying, though, when DD is throwing.

Spot on and at the same time we want more circle time for our DD. Go figure!

I have become very docile over the last year while adjusting to the other side of the fence. At first it was a struggle since I now had more time to focus directly on DD's playing and pitching. We still get nervous, sometimes more than others, but try very hard not to show it.
 
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NEF

May 16, 2012
123
18
New England
It takes a nut to spend 100's or more likely 1000's of hours catching, driving, bruising, bleeding. Wouldn't trade the time spent catching the DDs. I really like it when I can sit beyond the right field fence. Some are definitely crazier then others.
 
Jul 19, 2014
2,390
48
Madison, WI
My DD's PC has his own TB team. He won't mess with the mechanics of a girl on his team that has a PC. He coaches his own daughter, of course. If a girl on his team WANTS him to help with pitching, he will. Otherwise, stay away.
 
Jul 19, 2014
2,390
48
Madison, WI
It takes a nut to spend 100's or more likely 1000's of hours catching, driving, bruising, bleeding. Wouldn't trade the time spent catching the DDs. I really like it when I can sit beyond the right field fence. Some are definitely crazier then others.

I am so clumsy, I cannot catch my DD very well as soon as she hit 12. I usually have her brother catch her, but he is off to college soon. After she hit me in the face while warming up, she refuses to pitch to me unless I wear a mask. That doesn't help the shins, though.
 

left turn

It's fun being a dad!
Sep 20, 2011
277
16
NJ
So we hear and read about on here about those crazy "pitchers parents ".

Question why and what makes it that way? I know personally as a manager and a dad of a pitcher I get more involved of the manager title on her. Decision on when to pull her or keep her in. Allstars as a parent was nice only cause she was a reliever and not a starter.

Just throwing the topic out there.

There are many reasons for the existence of a crazy parent

• Huge investment of time and money and emotionally

• Often pitching practice is done in a small area so the popping of the mitt is further proof of your daughter’s greatness

• You work together over the winter of during the breaks and you start to think, “How can anyone hit these pitches?” This work is done without a batter, so the usual immediate feedback is missing

• Some parents do not have the ability to assess their DD’s ability relative to the other players. They want for their child so much, they only focus on the successes or they reconfigure events to absolve the DD from blame

• However, from what I have seen, the biggest group of crazy parents are those of bubble players. The top 6 to 8 players on a team and the #1 pitcher (and their parents) are more likely to be relaxed – but certainly not always. The parents of 8-12 ranked players and the #2 or #3 pitchers live with the real risk the player won’t see circle time or make “that” team or bat high in the lineup. The scarcity of positions and the number of competitors is a problem for bubble players. Circle time is limited by ability, effectiveness, potential or political connections

There are a ton of other reasons beyond these as well.

You love your child and treasure your time together. But with the things mentioned above it’s hard to keep perspective.
 
Jul 19, 2014
2,390
48
Madison, WI
There are many reasons for the existence of a crazy parent

(snip)

• However, from what I have seen, the biggest group of crazy parents are those of bubble players. The top 6 to 8 players on a team and the #1 pitcher (and their parents) are more likely to be relaxed – but certainly not always. The parents of 8-12 ranked players and the #2 or #3 pitchers live with the real risk the player won’t see circle time or make “that” team or bat high in the lineup. The scarcity of positions and the number of competitors is a problem for bubble players. Circle time is limited by ability, effectiveness, potential or political connections

(snip)


My situation is a little different. DD's TB team doesn't really have a #1 pitcher, more like two #1 pitchers. DD is the most dominating of the pitchers on the team, while the other girl is the most consistent.

Early in the season the other pitcher was clearly the #1 pitcher, except for those bright moments when DD really got into her groove. A lot of the time DD was 2nd or even 3rd in circle time.

Later in the season, DD was usually the #1 pitcher, except for when things weren't going well. DD was #1 in circle time, with the other girl close behind.

All in all, DD probably had the strongest finish, but the other girl had the most circle time throughout the season.

So, I always had mixed reactions when DD pitched. I was glad to see her get the chance, but worried she would blow it.

One thing: DD has a tendency to put a lot of pressure on herself, while the other #1 pitcher seems to be as relaxed in TB as she is in rec league. From talking to the other #1 pitcher's parents, neither is quite as relaxed in game time as in practice. Just a bigger difference with DD.

So, DD's nervousness has me biting my nails, while trying to show confidence in her.
 
Jun 7, 2013
984
0
Several years ago when she was in fourth grade, my oldest DD, for some crazy reason decided that she wanted to pitch. I knew nothing about fastpitch pitching but I caught for her. I'd be chasing balls down all over the place and wonder what the heck she was thinking. However, she kept getting better and better and then really, really good. Her younger sister followed in her footsteps and, with her sister's help became a really, really good pitcher much quicker.

Having this common activity amongst us three has really bonded us and, I am sure, brought us closer together. Of course, other activities could have done the same but for us it was fastpitch softball and pitching.

To help them out, and due to the dearth of good pitching coaches, I've learned a lot about teaching pitching and help them out as much as I am able. At their current ages, 15 and 13, they require much less from me and can fix themselves, or each other, more often than not. While it is hard to watch my DDs pitch a bad game, I am more emotionally detached from it. I have put the responsibility of being as good as they want to be upon them. I am only there to help. It is "their" thing. Due to this I am more relaxed, most of the time, and they are learning to be responsible for their goals and dreams in life.
 
Jul 19, 2014
2,390
48
Madison, WI
Good you can stay detached during a game.

I know one guy who won't sit in the stands if his girl is playing, esp. if she is pitching, unless he is coaching the game. He will get a folding chair and sit as far away as possible where he can just barely see the game. He will sometimes find some other activity to take up his time during the game.
 
Jun 7, 2013
984
0
Good you can stay detached during a game.

I know one guy who won't sit in the stands if his girl is playing, esp. if she is pitching, unless he is coaching the game. He will get a folding chair and sit as far away as possible where he can just barely see the game. He will sometimes find some other activity to take up his time during the game.

I think this "detachment" helps my daughters. Regardless of how they pitch or the outcome of the game, they get the same response from me. It's not the end of the world. Maybe we'll go grab some ice cream, talk about the game a bit, or whatever. They have never mentally "caved" and I think it is because of my, basically, calm and placid attitude whether they do great or terrible.

As a coach, the girls who mentally "cave" seem to have parents who go thru all those gyrations that you've mentioned. These attitudes of the girls seems to come from their parents.
 

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