DD is 12u player/pitcher. She has always been a very good fielder. Started pitching in rec-ball because she could throw strikes. Now playing travel ball and loves to practice with the team, but when I try to work with her on pitching we are like oil and water. Should I just let her pitch and keep my mouth shut? Tried a few pitching coaches which she liked that a lot. But when we work on what she has been taught it turns into a fight. I love the time we spend together playing ball but I don't want to kill her love for the game by us arguing. Thanks for any and all help!
Help, I'm ruining dd's love of the game!
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Having had two pitcher daughters, with this youngest one (16) having just quit pitching, I will say you might want to back off. Let her know you love the time you spend helping her, but that she needs to ask you to help if she thinks she needs it. However, remind her that if she really wants to become a great pitcher she must practice with someone and practice often, but don't force her.
redhotcoach
Out on good behavior
- May 8, 2009
- 4,705
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It's probably a phase. Many of us go through it. Your best tool is to walk away. Every time my dd argues something with me I have learned to say "fine, we are done". Soon she is either asking me about it, or next time we practice she is doing exactly what she argued against last time. She has often taken suggestions from me as criticism, simple corrections she would take as if I was telling her she can do nothing right. For the most part she out grew it.
I think it's a first kid thing...dd#2 plays soccer and constantanly wants my criticism, suggestions, and help, even though it is pretty much a guess on my part.
Yes. Be quiet and only praise her when she is right. She has to work through a lot of this, on her own. Better yet, ask a catcher to come over and you go in the house.
My DD is 25, so I have been there and done that.
My DD is 25, so I have been there and done that.
- Jun 24, 2013
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DD still lets me catch her but I pretty much keep my mouth shut. My worse comment might be “are you working on what your PC told you too?” and that only comes out once, I do not ride her about it. Ideally someone else catchers her and I can still be quite, I laugh at her a little bit which does not get me any points.
I have also quit practice if she is not paying attention, there is no reason to annoy both of us. It is over though and we will go watch a TV show or a movie.
I have also quit practice if she is not paying attention, there is no reason to annoy both of us. It is over though and we will go watch a TV show or a movie.
If only we could put an adult mind into their young energetic bodies. Well, that may not be such a good idea either. Well, it might be if we could filter out a few things.
Been there and done that. Just back off. Schedule time to practice, assume the position on the bucket, put some headphones on, and say nothing. Just catch and throw and see where it goes. Wait for her to come to you for help. Did this with my 19YO years ago and it worked well.
The key to being a good pitcher is practice. The only person in the world who she can rely on to do the necessary practice is a parent. You and she have to find a way to work together or she'll never get better.
What you *really* want her to do is throw a lot of pitches.
My advice:
1) Find a D1 pitcher and have the D1 pitcher tell your DD how much the DD has to practice in order to be "good".
2) When you and her practice, let her throw. Don't correct her.
3) Set up some games for the end of practice.
4) When you come in from the practice, *YOU* tell your wife and the rest of the family with your DD present how hard your DD worked and how well she pitched.
5) Somehow, some way, maintain a sense of humor. If you feel things going south, then stop and talk about something else.
What you *really* want her to do is throw a lot of pitches.
My advice:
1) Find a D1 pitcher and have the D1 pitcher tell your DD how much the DD has to practice in order to be "good".
2) When you and her practice, let her throw. Don't correct her.
3) Set up some games for the end of practice.
4) When you come in from the practice, *YOU* tell your wife and the rest of the family with your DD present how hard your DD worked and how well she pitched.
5) Somehow, some way, maintain a sense of humor. If you feel things going south, then stop and talk about something else.
Great advice! However, I would highly recommend Amy's advice on getting a catcher her own age (possibly from her TB team) and limit your advice/corrections to every 4 pitches or so. It seems to them as if you're nagging or criticizing constantly after every pitch if not. Also, when offering your advice/corrections, say it with a smile in your voice. I know it sounds silly, but one thing I have definitely learned from DW after 19 years of marriage is how you say something to someone is just as, if not more important, than what you are actually saying.
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As an 18 Gold travel coach in SoCal and father of a former pitcher the sooner you can remove yourself from the day to day process of her development the better it will be for her. The father- daughter dynamic is just too hard for her. She desperately wants to please you but daughters tend to start their rebellion phase sooner than boys. My daughter never understood that my comments and critiques were intended to help her. She only saw dad nagging her. If she loves the game and loves pitching get her a top notch pitching coach...get her into a top notch travel organization and let go! They will be the best decisions you ever make!!
