DD "B" is no longer a pitcher.

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Jun 18, 2012
3,183
48
Utah
I wouldn't give up yet. One of my kids wanted to quit school and make money so she could travel. Didn't care what I said. Five years later, when she walked with diploma in hand, she thanked me for not letting her quit. What worked with her? Bribery. I paid her for A's. Some will scoff, but she has a fancy university degree and a wonderful career because of it. Maybe worth a try; the new Iphone is coming out soon; should be worth 1 1/2 hours of practice per week. Make it back on varsity should get her drivers training covered; remind her driving is not a right. Lol, I feel your pain Doug. Just tossing some ideas out. My #1 only responded to "my way or the highway", but that's a little extreme for sports.

As an economist would tell you..... The basic postulate of economics is that people respond to incentives. I'm a firm believer in providing incentives. I'm also a firm believer in bearing the costs of your actions/decisions.
 
Jun 18, 2012
3,183
48
Utah
I don't know what the hell is going on. DD has pitched the last three JV games, and struggled due to being very rusty. She now thinks we need to practice Sunday. Hmmmm.
 
Jul 17, 2012
1,091
38
I'm late in chiming in on this thread...... but Doug, you're in a position where the best you can do is roll with it. If you were talking about a 10 year old, I would say yeah...continue to encourage. At your DD's age, space is what she needs. Let her sort it out. If SHE truly wants to be a pitcher, she'll come back. You can't want it for her. She has to want it for herself.

With regard to "Cat's in the Cradle" ... I listen to it often. It's a song every parent should listen to when their kids are young. It should be our anthem. One day your kids will be more interested in "borrowing the car keys" than asking you to "teach them to _____".
 
Dec 12, 2012
1,668
0
On the bucket
I don't know what the hell is going on. DD has pitched the last three JV games, and struggled due to being very rusty. She now thinks we need to practice Sunday. Hmmmm.

Good news, I suspected she might come back.

Sometimes they just need a break to realize how much they really want to pitch/play. Absence makes the heart grow fonder or something like that!

Happened with DD back in the fall. The grind of lessons and practice led her to just go thru the motions most of the time. She broke her pitching hand doing diving drills at team practice and started crying when the ER doc said no softball for 4 weeks. Total perspective change for her immediately.

She started pestering me at 3 days to start throwing and doing spins to practice in the garage. I explained that we needed to let it heal for the 4 weeks or we might make the break even longer by re-injuring it. Somehow she convinced the orthopedic doc to let her hit at 2 weeks as long as she kept it taped up. Not my preference, but once the orthoped said ok there was no looking back for her. He completely released her at 4 weeks and she couldn't wait to give the coach the written release. I sat on the bucket that night catching a rusty but happy pitcher.
 
Mar 13, 2010
1,758
48
No one has explained to me yet why grown men get so torn up about their DDs not wanting to learn softball from them. Many just need space and want their M or D just to be a fan and back off. And I think DR can take it; he has the need to teach. Hopefully for good motive. Look, I have played tennis and golf since I was in 20s, and still, there is not one day that goes by out there that some guy is not trying to give me a lesson, even in the middle of a match or round. It gets old after awhile, especially when I play better than they do. The kids grow beyond their parents, that is life. Look don't live through your kids sports. I would rather you live through their academics, internships and creative expression (some sarcasm because you should not helicopter there, but that won't happen).

I'm with you. I'm reading this thread with a bit of horror. Why are we encouraging an over involved father who is considering his daughter a failure because she doesn't want to pitch anymore? Who is insistent on blaming his wife for his daughters 'failures' in not wanting to pitch.

Or even the fact that she's still pitching and when left to her own devices has decided to start practicing again because she saw the result of her own failure to practice.

How about being a father and loving your kid regardless of what she puts into SPORT? She's not out there doing drugs, sleeping around or failing out of school. She just doesn't want to pitch as much.

There is failure and it's in you,but it's not because she doesn't want to pitch.
 
Nov 15, 2013
175
0
After several months of being frustrated with DD's lack of commitment to work on her pitching, yesterday I told her it was time for her to tell her HS coach that she was no longer going to be a pitcher. You see, I don't believe in her giving her coaches a false hope that she's going to be one of their pitchers, when it ain't gonna happen. Further, I didn't want her to steal pitching time from my other two dedicated pitchers who actually yearn to be pitchers. It was a very tough thing for me to tell her, but if it ain't in her heart to be a pitcher, it ain't there!

I'm a bit angered by it because it has a lot to do with what goes on with kids during their teenage years. Many lack an appreciation for the potential they have, but more than that, they often do the opposite of what their parents (or dad) sees as their potential. It's a rebellion of sorts. Oh well, years from now she will regret it, as my older daughter does now.

Part of the problem what that mommy/wife was never on board, so trying to get DD to practice pitching was not only a battle with DD but I also had mommy enabling DD. Yeah, that makes me quite angry. Oh well, the choices these kids make.

My focus will now be on "K" and mainly "M". I see "M" as a girl who will eventually really shine. The key will be getting the HS coaches, who are as back-woods as they get when it comes to recognizing good pitching mechanics, to recognize her more. "M" just going to have to take this by the horns and win the position outright a year or two down the road.

The dad is experiencing a lot of emotions right now--sad, bitter, angry, unappreciated, etc. Oh well, dads aren't suppose to have feelings.

As I read further and further through this post, I kept a close eye out for the punchline, or the inevitable "Gotcha!" somewhere in it.

When I didn't find it, I read it again. I'm now through it the second time, and I'm thoroughly confused. This post is a joke, right?
 

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