Player not showing up for practice due to mom

Chris O'Leary...read the post that follows the last one you read and you'll see I tried to do even better for her. She really is a great kid and deserves better.

In both rec and TB, I have picked up players knowing that their parents could not get them there. These were not star players by any stretch, but needed a hand getting to games and/or practices. You'll find that there are many folks on this forum that have done the same for their players. I can't imagine being a single parent with two kids who are involved in sports and school. "Being lazy" could also mean "being overwhelmed". I'm not saying that I would have been more understanding, but it seems you missed an opportunity to help a kid, and punished her because she was born to the wrong parent.

I have it happening this year, it happened last year, it will likely happen every year and it probably happens to nearly every coach in almost every sport.

The way I look at it is this, the kids can't drive yet. I had arguments about it with a few of the parents last year, I won't do that again, I don't have to, there is nothing to argue about. No one complaining knew about what was going on in the kid's life, no one knows what the parents are going through. I liked what I saw of them at try outs, they chose to accept my offer and play on my team. She chose me the girls on the team, we are in it together at that point. I am going to play them as I need them and if the people watching from their folding chairs don't like it there are people that they can talk about having me removed and showing everyone what an awesome job they can do.

tguwarrior said:

I have it happening this year, it happened last year, it will likely happen every year and it probably happens to nearly every coach in almost every sport.

The way I look at it is this, the kids can't drive yet. I had arguments about it with a few of the parents last year, I won't do that again, I don't have to, there is nothing to argue about. No one complaining knew about what was going on in the kid's life, no one knows what the parents are going through. I liked what I saw of them at try outs, they chose to accept my offer and play on my team. She chose me the girls on the team, we are in it together at that point. I am going to play them as I need them and if the people watching from their folding chairs don't like it there are people that they can talk about having me removed and showing everyone what an awesome job they can do.

Click to expand...

You my friend, get it! It is about the kids!keep up the good fight.

I think we're being a little hard on the OP. He didn't say how old the girl is, but he didn't bench her for not showing up. He acknowleges she can't drive herself. He benched her for not calling to let him know she wouldn't be there. If she's 11 or older and has her own cell phone, she is more than old enough to call the coach. When are kids going to learn any responsibility if we continuously give them a bye for their parents? I'd be all over him if he benched her for not showing up, but he made the rules flexible enough that this child should have been able to comply. If the child is younger than 11 or so, then she's probably not mature enough to be held accountable.

Kids have much more control over parents than we like to admit. Had the kid REALLY wanted to be at practice there is little doubt that she could have influenced her Mom to have her there. After all, the Mom was obviously not so lazy that she didn't go to the board for her DD.

She may possibly be back next season; with a better appreciation for practice. If she's only 11 years old her future is still intact.

I've had kids who so despartly want to be there they'll catch a bus for an hour trip to get there. I've had them call me at 7am to beg me to pick them up on the way because they don't want to practise (they even forgive me if I'm surly at that time )

I think very little of the parents, but the kids who do everything in their power to get there are around. Even with parents who don't seem to care. (or are too busy to be able to help) I don't think I'd kick a kid off a team in a rec league, but I'd be talking to the kid to see what could be done to get her to practise. Whether it's having another parent pick her up, or even doing it myself. There are other options besides mum and thinking that mum is just lazy.

Switching a little bit but 1 player was at every practice this year, I have never seen their parent sober. They are drunk when they bring their kid to practice and at the games.

Personally I would prefer the girl not to be at practice or games then in a car with them driving.

Alright. Since I started this thread I've been following it rather closely. I feel I need to clarify a few points that you have raised. The team manager wrote and enforced the rule of no call-no play. The player in question is 14, has her own cell-phone and since she needed me to give her occasional rides to both practices and games last year, I made sure she had not only my home and cell numbers, but the team manager's as well. I even programmed them in her phone for her. I give many of my kids the occasional ride for whatever reason and have even gone so far as to go out and buy a 7 person vehicle since I always seem to have at least 3 plus my DD that I am giviing rides to at any given time. If she had called, I gladly would have added her to my list of pick-ups. But she didn't and I can't read minds.

Yes her mother is lazy not overwhelmed. She sleeps in until 11-noon each day and leaves a 14 and 17 YO to fend for themselves as well as taking care of the 1 1/2 YO until they get on the bus to school. This has been going on for the last 5 years that I have known this family. She won't work because welfare pays better than any job she could find on her own (told me that to my face last year)...if she could find one in this economy. Just a bad situation all around. As for going to the board, the only reason she did is because she felt we as coaches, a team and a league had dis-respected her and her daughter...again straght from her mouth.

As for you quincy, I feel for you and your player. I have the same situation with one of mine. She's one of the 3 that are almost constantly getting a ride from me. I told the Dad that I would pick her up and drop her off for practice because I wanted to give her extra work along with my DD so she could play more in the future. I also told him I would do the same for games beacause I wanted to give her extra warm-up time in the batting barn as well as taking her to DQ after the games with the others that are normally with us. Dad was only too happy to get out of going to practice so he could stay home and drink. He still comes to the games but at least I don't have to worry about her after the game and she and the team have grown really close spending time outside of practice and games together. Just a suggestion.

quincy said:

Switching a little bit but 1 player was at every practice this year, I have never seen their parent sober. They are drunk when they bring their kid to practice and at the games.

Personally I would prefer the girl not to be at practice or games then in a car with them driving.

Click to expand...

If you've never seen them sober how do you know they were drunk? I ask this because I once worked with a guy that I never knew was drunk until he came in sober one day.