14U pregnant player

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Oct 23, 2009
967
0
Los Angeles
This also brings up another question... I've heard girls talk about travel teams that have rules concerning players dating and their sexual activities. I know a girl who played on a team that if the coach found out you were having sex, you would be kicked off. I don't think that ever actually happened, but he wanted his girls to be "model citizens".

Wow, what an arbitrary, sexist, and riduculous rule to try enforce. Do boys travel baseball teams have the same requirements? What happens behind closed doors is no ones business (especially the coaches). Leave it up the player's parents and clergy to teach morality.
 
Jan 23, 2010
802
0
VA, USA
Wow, what an arbitrary, sexist, and riduculous rule to try enforce. Do boys travel baseball teams have the same requirements? What happens behind closed doors is no ones business (especially the coaches). Leave it up the player's parents and clergy to teach morality.

What boys' travel baseball teams? I only know of one, about an hour from here... There's a new, local TB team for younger age groups and then there's one established program about an hour from here. I'm sure boys aren't held to the same standards, but I don't know but maybe 2 travel baseball players and I sure wouldn't ask them!

I think a lot of the opinions about something like that will vary from area to area.
 
Jul 9, 2010
289
0
This is a provacative thread topic. On a college SB board, there is a similar topic about whether the NCAA should institute participation policies relative to pregnancy. That thread went viral, with lots of strong feelings on both sides, and it involved 18-23 year olds.

Personal feelings aside, I don't think a coach should turn this into a moral issue. I think it is up to the player's parents to teach them morality. All I can is be the best person I can be, and hope they notice. However, even if it is a moral issue, I would not be the first to cast a stone against a 14 year old that got pregnant.

Even with that, I would not let her play, doctor's note or not. If it is little league, maybe you have to. Travel ball teams are not democracies, they are private clubs. If our private club doesn't make you happy, you are always welcome to go find one that does.
 
Jul 26, 2010
3,567
0
This is a provacative thread topic. On a college SB board, there is a similar topic about whether the NCAA should institute participation policies relative to pregnancy. That thread went viral, with lots of strong feelings on both sides, and it involved 18-23 year olds.

Personal feelings aside, I don't think a coach should turn this into a moral issue. I think it is up to the player's parents to teach them morality. All I can is be the best person I can be, and hope they notice. However, even if it is a moral issue, I would not be the first to cast a stone against a 14 year old that got pregnant.

Even with that, I would not let her play, doctor's note or not. If it is little league, maybe you have to. Travel ball teams are not democracies, they are private clubs. If our private club doesn't make you happy, you are always welcome to go find one that does.

If your TB organization has standards and bylaws, and in the bylaws it states "players who become pregant will not be permitted to participate in tournaments", then it is no longer a moral issue, it is an issue of following the rules put in place by a private organization.

You have to understand that if a TB club shows up to a showcase tournament and one of the girls is visibly pregnant, it will look bad for that organization, and many college coaches/scouts may be turned away by this (though some perhaps not as you stated). It's the same as if a player in uniform were smoking at a tournament or fighting with another girl in the bathroom. These things are just not tolerated because it hurts EVERY girl on the team who is trying to make an impression.

-W
 
May 10, 2010
256
0
Morality aside, who is responsible? The batter hits her with a line drive or the pitcher nails her in the gut. Will the pregnant player or the players parents be looking for a lawyer? Sounds crazy I know, but have seen stranger things.
 
Mar 13, 2010
1,758
48
This isn't a sexism issue, this is a safety issue. If the player (and her parents in this case) doesn't care enough about her baby to stop taking unnecessary risks to her baby, than someone else needs to stop her, for the OTHER players sakes. Not hers. The other players.

I played with a girl who hit a foul ball that hit a two day old baby. The baby died. It's been ten years. She's still incredibly messed up over that. Not her fault, but she still feels responsible.

The 'no sex' rule IS sexist, for the simple reason I doubt it would ever be instituted for boys.
 
Oct 14, 2010
9
0
PA
They won't let the girls play with earrings... under the name of "safety" but they can play pregnant? If a player brings in a note from the doctor that says earrings are safe should the ASA change the rules and let the girl wear them?

Agreed!! Earrings, jewelry etc are not allowed to be worn during the game according to ASA rules. My daughter had a silly band on her wrist, a piece of RUBBER and the umpire at the plate asked her to remove the bracelet before she could bat!

I understand there are no rules to date for playing while pregnant, but what should be used is COMMON SENSE!!
 

obbay

Banned
Aug 21, 2008
2,199
0
Boston, MA
I have two daughters, no sons. As has been alluded to here, the conversation should run differently depending on whether we are talking under 18 or 18 and over.

When we are talking about children having children, it can't be discussed in the same context as adults having children. Adults in their 20's don't know as much as they think they do, but at least they are mature enough to take care of themselves and presumably their offspring.

Males are wired differently than females and historically have been able to get away with sexual "accidents". It's not fair, it's just the way it is. The girl is left holding the bag with all the tough life decisions. what I am seeing in my U16s is that the girls who are blessed with good looks do not display a lot of brains when it comes to this sort of thing. Sort of like sex is a Right to which they are now entitled. They are thinking more like boys but don't seem to understand that they are the only ones who have something at stake- not to mention the responsibility of bringing another life into the world.

That being said, it takes a village to raise a kid. Sometimes a coach provides the only guidelines a kid is required to live within. We have all seen the defective parents who send their kids out to play hurt, when they should be resting an injury (someone mentioned it earlier). you need to pass a test to get something as basic as a drivers license, but any idiot can father (or bear) a child. Once they have the baby, their childhood is over so what's the big deal about not letting them play? They are months (or weeks) away from being done anyway, get used to it. (I'm talking about minors here, the ones who are someone else's dependents) As has been said before, there are always consequences for your actions.

If any of my teams go up against a pregnant pitcher, I have learned from this thread that the best thing for all involved is to bunt toward the pitcher.
 
Jul 30, 2010
164
0
Pennsylvania
I'd cut a girl in 14u or even 16u for being pregnant. Any Gold coach would do the same. I also cut girls for getting F's and not improving (we check grades and help with tutoring) and for getting suspended, so it'd be pretty hypocritical for not cutting them for getting pregnant.

I can’t see me being that harsh and just say your cut, see ya! I would never play a girl who was pregnant. Most people I know, would not allow their kid to play pregnant so I guess the player and the parents already know the girls season is over. But is it that simple? In many cases, these girls have played together for years, they have bonded and life long friendships have been made. Find something else for her to do with the team, any thing to keep her involved, don’t take that from her!

To me, being a coach, it can’t all be about the sport itself. We as coaches play many roles and those roles constantly are changing. Were teachers, mentors, nurses, physiologist’s, chauffer’s etc. At least that’s the way I look at it. Have a little compassion.

Everyone makes mistakes. Though it appears reading these threads, some of you haven’t? When I was a kid, like most, I did stupid stuff. Thank god I had coaches who cared. I turned out to be pretty decent.
I am in no way saying that I am for teenage pregnancy or that I think teenagers should be engaging in sexual activity. Not at all. However, I am neither blind nor stupid. We as parents can preach all we want to our children, but ya know, somewhere along the line, even if we as parents and coaches say and do the right things, face it, its going to happen. It has happened for decades!

Before someone calls this a BS rant……..well, as a coach I went through this with a 15YO player. Never in a million years would I have guessed one of my players would get pregnant, especially the one that did. She made a mistake, a dumb mistake, that now she and her parents live with every day. At this point, it was the most difficult thing I went through as a coach. For this girl, who I’ve coached since she was 9, have to tell me that while sobbing. Did I drop her like a ton of stone? No. Did she play, NO. I found something else for her to do with the team. We kept her involved. My role has changed now. Instead of coaching her on a Dailey basis, I have become part of her support mechanism. Along with her parents and her teammates, I will do what ever is necessary to help her get her HS diploma and go to college. If we can get her back on the softball field that would just be a bonus.

It had been mentioned about what the college coaches think, or it makes our organization look bad……..WHAT? That’s BS. I have to much character and integrity to really care what anyone thinks of me. It’s really hard to go wrong when you try and do the right thing. It’s hard to go wrong when you remember this isn’t about “you”. It’s about the kids. I tell everyone, I treat these players with love and respect. Who knows, one of these kids your training today could be the next president of the Untied States and if we play some small part in them being successful, that’s awesome. It won’t always be simple or easy, life isn’t easy.

We don't have to worry grades on our team, all 3.5 's or higher. but as far a getting a F....i wouldn't cut a girl for that either. She would have the chance to get that grade up. How? By our support mechanism on our team. She would be tutored by another player who was strong in the failed subject or by a parent.
 
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