Leaving our team!!??

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Jun 18, 2016
7
0
My DD and i have decided to play for a different organization in TB. My question is how do i tell her HC that she no longer will play for him? The main problem is that the HC is also the high school coach and she will only quit the TB team.
 
Jul 19, 2014
2,390
48
Madison, WI
Some very important points you left out.

Did your DD already commit to his team for the coming year and then changed her mind,
Or is this a case of your DD finishing out her 2016 commitment and then leaving for a new team after tryouts?

Very different situations
 

JAD

Feb 20, 2012
8,231
38
Georgia
My suggestion would be to do it gently since it sounds like your DD will still have to play HS ball for this coach.
 
Sep 29, 2014
2,421
113
All this really depends on HOW and WHY you left?

Was she #3 pitcher not getting enough circle time?
Was she a starter, Star and main player on team that did really well but the team did not do well.
Is this a B team and you are leaving for a showcase, "A" "Gold" team.

really need more information?

Did this coach have a bad attitude? Did they even know she was trying out anywhere else? more info...please
 

marriard

Not lost - just no idea where I am
Oct 2, 2011
4,312
113
Florida
The main problem is that the HC is also the high school coach and she will only quit the TB team.

That right there is going to make it a more difficult discussion.

It really depends on WHY you are leaving the team.

If you have very different goals than the TB team (preferably HIGHER goals), then it can be a good discussion - i.e. "I am leaving because I am going to a team that will help me reach my college goals and will hopefully make me an even stronger player for HS season". If you have finished your commitment to the team and it is change over in season/tryouts time - that is also a reasonable time to change teams.


If it is a "I just don't like it here." or you don't like the coaching or some of the players or some other similar reason, that is probably not going to go as well.

You may well have to accept that in many cases even if you have very good reasons for changing teams, playing HS ball may no longer be an option depending on the coaches reaction to the news.
 
Oct 11, 2010
8,337
113
Chicago, IL
DD would be sticking with my head coach best friend. :)

Good luck with situation, I would not get in the weeds but you are in trouble.
 
Jun 18, 2016
7
0
Im trying to stay a little bit in the dark here! I hope you guys understand. There is many reasons why! But mainly the team we were offer a spot at is a better team overall!! What im 100% sure is that this decision is best for my DD in the long run.
 

marriard

Not lost - just no idea where I am
Oct 2, 2011
4,312
113
Florida
Im trying to stay a little bit in the dark here! I hope you guys understand. There is many reasons why! But mainly the team we were offer a spot at is a better team overall!! What im 100% sure is that this decision is best for my DD in the long run.

So you are in the "I am leaving because I am going to a team that will help me reach my college goals and will hopefully make me an even stronger player for HS season" boat... or at least you claim this to be the case.

The new team better be playing in higher level tournaments and have few tournaments in common with the current team. And it better be an obvious major step up - not just a slightly better step up
. That helps make sense of your decision when you do have the conversation with the coach and is hard to argue with. Your current commitment to this current team will still be an issue if you have one.

Even if all this is the case, you are still are going to need to be OK with the possibility of your DD not having a good HS softball experience or not playing HS softball. I don't know the coach of course, but I know some who would absolutely understand, and some who absolutely would not. And I certainly know many who would say they understand... and then bench your DD for most of the HS season.
 
Sep 9, 2014
75
6
Wow im reading your post and is like a flash back!!! We had a similar situation a few months back but after a lot of toughs we decided to finish the year with the team. Now i kind of regretted i fill like we are in a time bubble just lingering some where in space. Luckily we only have 2 1/2 months left in our season. My advice to you is what ever you do make sure your DD is comfortable with the decision.
 

SB45

Dad, Coach, Chauffeur
Sep 2, 2016
150
28
Western NY
OK, so you don't want to give up anonymity. Makes sense given that you are worried about the possible repercussions. Since you're already concerned about that...it is probably like the school coaches we deal with...the risk of this being held against her is probably real. My concern is probably what some others are thinking too...do you have rose-colored glasses about your daughter's ability? Is there more to the story? Do you jump from team to team because the grass is always greener> Not saying ANY of this is true...just what I'm thinking being skeptical. It's dicey...whether you have committed or not, the coach is probably planning on your kid...and it will hurt a bit for him to lose her. Do what you think is best for your kids development. If you truly believe it is best for your kid's development and you have a reasonable explanation as to why it is better for her as a player (other than the other coach is better)...you ought to be able to explain that to the team coach. If it will really make her better...she is also getting better for the school team. Try to come up with something factual that she would be getting from the new team that she would not get from the existing one...hard to argue against...if you can.
 

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