Syracuse.com Survey of Coaches

Interesting read on HS coaches and parents.

Click HERE

One of the biggest problems is parents who are unable to judge the skills of their student athlete relative to the other players. I find it really sad when a parent can't understand that their child really isn't very athletic. I was kind of lucky in the sense that, fairly early on, I decided that if my daughter was OK with a team, then I was OK with that team. So, even when she didn't play as much
as I might have liked, as long as she was enjoying herself, that was good enough.

Ton of helicopter parents that post here. It's funny some of the stuff I read on here about parents and their children and coaches.

There's no doubt a lot of that helicopter parenting behavior goes on. And it can certainly have an effect, not just on HS sports but on all activities at all levels.

At the same time, it could also be that an older "business model" is being replaced by a new one. Back in the day, parents were a whole lot less informed about sports in general, and the specifics about the sports their kids participated in. There was a belief that the HS coach knew much more than the parents who for the most part didn't coach their kids past about the age of 13. There were no checks and balances; if your HS had a good coach you were lucky, if not you may not have know the difference.

That's not the case anymore. Parents are much more well-informed. 10 minutes on DFP will certainly confirm that, and I'm sure there are similar forums for other sports. Not to mention the ready availability of information on the Internet and in DVDs and books. So now parents have opinions on what the optimal techniques and strategies are, and after years of watching them put into action get agitated when they see coaching they feel is sub-optimal.

There is no doubt some parents have legitimate grievances. Some coaches are limited in their abilities to recognize ability, and will play a lesser player ahead of a better one who fits their idea of what a player in that position should look like. In those cases a short, stocky girl is probably not going to get much of a look at shortstop even if she has better skills and range than the tall, lanky kid the coach likes better. Unfortunately, that's life. In the past it would be up to the player to do all she could to get the coach to give her a chance. Nowadays the parents register a complaint.

But that goes back to the business model, because that's life right now too. Families now spend the bulk of their sporting lives outside of school ball. If they don't like a team, a coach or the opportunity their DD is being given they just go somewhere else. In HS ball their choices have been suck it up or move. Now they have a third option. HS coaches will have to recognize that and adjust, or eventually club sports will take all the best players and then they may not have to worry about how much extra time it's taking up.

Good points, Ken.

I sympathize with HS coaches. Their complains are real. But fact is that parents are more knowledgeable about the sport than they've ever been and are less willing to accept mediocrity. Many are know-it-all idiots, but many are not.

I appreciate what you're saying, Ken, but I might amend your thoughts to say that too many parents have just enough knowledge to think they know everything about softball and what's best for their DDs, though it's usually not what's best for the team. Too many parents, and maybe coaches, also don't see the big picture. It takes time to develop a player or a team or a program. If you're a newbie on my team, you're probably not going to get as much game time as older, better players. But I will spend as much time with you as I can in practice to help make you better. Unfortunately, players and parents aren't real interested in practices, hard work and dedication any more. They see the pros and somehow think that these players got that good by some miraculous osmotic process honed by video game playing or because parents bitch at the coach. When I was up with Java with my pitcher, he observed that the most important coach a player will ever have is a parent. Truth. Show me a parent who understands the value of the DD putting skin and sweat in the game, and I'll show you a coachable, team first player who gives her best. Then it falls on the coach to figure out ways to get better - or get beat again.

In my opinion, the pursuit of the almighty scholarship is what is driving the issue.

Chasing the scholarship is an individual pursuit and is not always conducive with a team sport. Players and parents become more concerned with individual stats and accomplishments instead of where the focus should be...on the success of the team. Every team needs role players to do things that may not show up in an individual stat line, but are vital to the success of the team.

I really appreciate Ken's thoughts on this, parents being more informed does make it hard to be a coach. I am a prime example. After watching a little bit of practice on DDs HS team I made a vow to never watch another minute. The coach is a great guy, but I cannot help but observe and silently criticize almost everything and that is not a healthy vibe to throw out. I try to tell myself it is just HS and it is for fun and this guy who I really like is just a dad stepping up to help out but inevitably the criticism creeps in.

I think that business side he mentions at the end is a big component. Everything today needs to be BRANDED-MONETIZED etc. and along with that comes choice and with choice you get to tailor your desires and then WHAMMO...you run into a bureaucracy like HS ball and it doesn't lend itself to working well.

I would add that there are two MACRO issues contributing to this as well.

1) A sense of entitlement that we as a nation feel after years of basically being fat dumb and happy.
2) An increasingly competitive world where we have to compete globally at work, in school etc. and costs are rising fast for college, far faster than most people's incomes.

Take that innate sense that we are entitled to being special by virtue of our birthplace and add in the real pressure of a new reality where we are competing with everyone on the planet at work and I think there is a subconscious insecurity that permeates society that our kids are in for a tough life (but should not be because they are special) and I think it creates an environment that is the American version of refugees fighting over the aid delivery, on a much higher level, I do not mean to equate the need for survival with getting a scholarship, but the mentality of needing to grab and take at all costs is the same.

cvsoftball said:

I appreciate what you're saying, Ken, but I might amend your thoughts to say that too many parents have just enough knowledge to think they know everything about softball and what's best for their DDs, though it's usually not what's best for the team. Too many parents, and maybe coaches, also don't see the big picture. It takes time to develop a player or a team or a program. If you're a newbie on my team, you're probably not going to get as much game time as older, better players. But I will spend as much time with you as I can in practice to help make you better. Unfortunately, players and parents aren't real interested in practices, hard work and dedication any more. They see the pros and somehow think that these players got that good by some miraculous osmotic process honed by video game playing or because parents bitch at the coach. When I was up with Java with my pitcher, he observed that the most important coach a player will ever have is a parent. Truth. Show me a parent who understands the value of the DD putting skin and sweat in the game, and I'll show you a coachable, team first player who gives her best. Then it falls on the coach to figure out ways to get better - or get beat again.

Click to expand...

Hypothetical question about the bolded sentence. What do you do if the newbie is actually the better player and the potentially bitching parent is the one who's daughter is the older "vet"?

In addition, certain aspects of coach behavior which might have been overlooked in the past are now fair game. I have seen many cases of high school coaches who lost their jobs due to inappropriate conduct such as bullying or harassment. A coach has 3 choices with the players on his or her team - cut 'em, bench 'em or play 'em. What a coach may not do is bully or harass players.

Athletic directors are often constrained in their hiring decisions with pressure to pick from teachers first. This can limit the talent pool.