A Psych question

DD (15) is an excellent ballplayer when relaxed. when nervous/tense, not as good. she is susceptible to letting things get in her head and "unravel her sweater".

This was apparent at tryouts last night. it was a tryout for her team as well as a team below and a team above (Gold). she is guaranteed a spot on her existing team and the Gold coach has been saying all summer that he wants to get her on the Gold team next year. Her Team's coach wanted them to show up at tryouts as a practice before our last scheduled tournament this weekend. so when she told me she was nervous I tried to downplay it, reminding her it's not really a tryout, just a type of practice and the coaches all know her and aren't going to throw out what they already know based on what she does tonight.

she was going to be there with players on her team plus some others she doesn't know as well and a couple of "popular" girls who evicted her from their social circle a year or two ago. It was Hazy, hot and humid, which doesn't help either.

The director was mad at his Gold team so he started right in yelling at everyone so that may have increased tensions a bit. they did IF, OF and hitting. While I was watching everyone, I wasn't particularly impressed with her play. her teammates rose to the occasion and shined for the most part, while she looked good except that she couldn't hold onto the ball in the IF and couldn't hit. that last part was especially hard because she has been doing tee work every night and she has been peppering the 200' fence. last night with coach pitch was crap IF ground balls, IF pop ups and can-o-corns to the OF. her teammates noticed and told her she looked incredibly tense at bat, not like usual.

So the big question: How can you help a girl develop confidence and/or maintain confidence in times of stress? (unlike the famous quote, she DOES need to play well to feel good about herself)

This was suggested to me by former UCLA pitcher Kaci Clake-Zerbe out of Tampa. The message is universal and use tennis competition as an example.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Inner-Game-Tennis-Performance/dp/0679778314

A phenomenon when first published in 1972, the Inner Game was a real revelation. Instead of serving up technique, it concentrated on the fact that, as Gallwey wrote, "Every game is composed of two parts, an outer game and an inner game." The former is played against opponents, and is filled with lots of contradictory advice; the latter is played not against, but within the mind of the player, and its principal obstacles are self-doubt and anxiety. Gallwey's revolutionary thinking, built on a foundation of Zen thinking and humanistic psychology, was really a primer on how to get out of your own way to let your best game emerge. It was sports psychology before the two words were pressed against each other and codified into an accepted discipline.

The new edition of this remarkable work--Billie Jean King called the original her tennis bible--refines Gallwey's theories on concentration, gamesmanship, breaking bad habits, learning to trust yourself on the court, and awareness. "No matter what a person's complaint when he has a lesson with me, I have found the most beneficial first step," he stressed, "is to encourage him to see and feel what he is doing--that is, to increase his awareness of what actually is."

There are aspects of psychobabble and mysticism to be found here, sure, but Gallwey instructs as much by anecdote as anything else, and time has ultimately proved him a guru. What seemed radical in the early '70s is now accepted ammunition for the canon; the right mental approach is every bit as important as a good backhand. The Inner Game of Tennis still does much to keep that idea in play. --Jeff Silverman

All kids have nerves from time to time, some more than others.

The way I deal with it is to understand that anxiety is fear. And then I do what I can to alleviate the fear. Fear is rarely alleviated with a quick-fix, but it can be alleviated over time.

So, for example ...

She's afraid she won't make the team - OK, then she'll make another team. There are pros and cons to all teams. We'll look to the positive.
She's afraid she'll let me down - I try to act the same regardless of her performance. This is not easy to do. Kids are experts at picking up on body language and BS.
She's afraid if she doesn't perform, she won't reach her goal of playing in college - College is going to be an amazing experience whether you play college ball or not.

Another thing that has helped my daughter is to remain focused on the process and not fret over the result. So instead of taking pride in the result alone, she takes pride in her preparation, how hard she works, etc. Her identity as a player is about things she can control, so therefore there is less at stake in games. And, taken further, ideally her identity should transcend softball. Young players need other things that give them an identity or sense of pride so that screwing up in a softball game or tryout is not devastating.

Not saying that my DD has figured all that out yet, but that's the path I try to guide her on.

riseball said:

This was suggested to me by former UCLA pitcher Kaci Clake-Zerbe out of Tampa. The message is universal and use tennis competition as an example.

The Inner Game of Tennis: The Classic Guide to the Mental Side of Peak Performance: W. Timothy Gallwey, Zach Kleiman, Pete Carroll: 9780679778318: Amazon.com: Books

A phenomenon when first published in 1972, the Inner Game was a real revelation. Instead of serving up technique, it concentrated on the fact that, as Gallwey wrote, "Every game is composed of two parts, an outer game and an inner game." The former is played against opponents, and is filled with lots of contradictory advice; the latter is played not against, but within the mind of the player, and its principal obstacles are self-doubt and anxiety. Gallwey's revolutionary thinking, built on a foundation of Zen thinking and humanistic psychology, was really a primer on how to get out of your own way to let your best game emerge. It was sports psychology before the two words were pressed against each other and codified into an accepted discipline.

The new edition of this remarkable work--Billie Jean King called the original her tennis bible--refines Gallwey's theories on concentration, gamesmanship, breaking bad habits, learning to trust yourself on the court, and awareness. "No matter what a person's complaint when he has a lesson with me, I have found the most beneficial first step," he stressed, "is to encourage him to see and feel what he is doing--that is, to increase his awareness of what actually is."

There are aspects of psychobabble and mysticism to be found here, sure, but Gallwey instructs as much by anecdote as anything else, and time has ultimately proved him a guru. What seemed radical in the early '70s is now accepted ammunition for the canon; the right mental approach is every bit as important as a good backhand. The Inner Game of Tennis still does much to keep that idea in play. --Jeff Silverman

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Great book, certainly the best of its day in sports psychology. I have it somewhere and actually thought just recently of letting my daughter read it. Couldn't immediately find it, though, and wondered if she'd get into it. She actually was asking for a sports psychology book, and we went into a small bookstore recently looking for one. Couldn't find what she wanted, so I suggested Lou Holtz's autobiography. Not exactly sports psych, but he does know a little on the subject. She loved the book.

CoogansBluff said:

Great book, certainly the best of its day in sports psychology. I have it somewhere and actually thought just recently of letting my daughter read it. Couldn't immediately find it, though, and wondered if she'd get into it. She actually was asking for a sports psychology book, and we went into a small bookstore recently looking for one. Couldn't find what she wanted, so I suggested Lou Holtz's autobiography. Not exactly sports psych, but he does know a little on the subject. She loved the book.

Click to expand...

I would buy one for every kid on my team if I thought they would actually read it.

riseball said:

I would buy one for every kid on my team if I thought they would actually read it.

Click to expand...

That was my concern! Mine loves to read, but that book wasn't written for a 15-year-old. Not that it's above her ability to comprehend, but it would be like work to her.

Which makes me think that there aren't enough sports psych or sports training books tailored to kids. They are usually written for adults or parents. With what youth sports have become today, there's got to be a market. If nothing else, the crazy parents would buy them for their kids.

Thanks RB- I just bought the book on Amazon for $0.36 + $3.99 shipping!

I used to compete at fairly high level target archery. In indoor spots, if you look at the number of almost perfect scores (like 599/600 in a Vegas round), you"ll find the most oft missed shot is the last one. Next to last is second highest, etc.

As said above, it's the brain. I was taught (fortunately) from the beginning of my target archery career to concentrate on making a good shot. If you make a good shot, the result is there. One guy told me just make a nice looking shot - if someone watches you shoot and doesn't see the arrow, you want them to think, "man, that guy has a nice shot".

It's a matter of worrying about the outcome. Control the outcome by controlling what leads to it. Don't worry about whether the ball is going over the fence, take your best swing. If you make a perfect swing and hit the ball perfectly, it's going out to that 200' sign. Agree as above that the same psychology applies to lots of sports situations.