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Thread: 10 Travel Ball Mom Types We All Know and Love...

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    JAD
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    Default 10 Travel Ball Mom Types We All Know and Love...

    10 Travel Ball Mom Types We All Know and Love |

    10 Travel Ball Mom Types We All Know and Love
    Posted on June 10, 2015 by angelaweight in Oh so true! // 101 Comments

    *If any descriptions in this post happen to bear resemblance to anyone we know personally, it’s purely coincidental. I promise.

    I’ve been a baseball mom for ten whole years now. Including rec ball, little league, all-stars and travel ball, we’ve been a part of 29 different teams. (That’s just a ballpark figure. lol. Sorry, I can’t resist a good pun.) No matter what state we’re in and what age our kids are, every team has at least one or two of the 10 stereotypes I’ve listed below. Some of them are awesome and essential to the team. Others are….well, they make for good blogging.

    1) Mrs. Long Lens – She’s the one with a camera. Not just any camera, though. This one has a zoom lens that’s strong enough to snap a close-up photograph of the right fielder’s index finger in his nose…at a baseball game three counties away. While we’re sitting on our behinds, fanning gnats and critiquing the umpires, she spends her time taking professional quality photos, not just of her own kid, but of all the players. She captures those incredible plays at the plate and the look on your kid’s face when he realizes his hit is headed over the fence. And then this jewel of a woman posts all 533,897 photos on Facebook for parents to download a few hours later. If there’s a mom like this on your team, be extra nice to her. Bring her chocolate and frozen drinks. She’s definitely a keeper.

    2) Howler Mom aka Apache Scream Mom aka “Wish She Had a Mute Button” Mom – Somewhere deep in the mechanics of this woman’s larynx is a built-in microphone with fully charged batteries. To say that’s she’s a tad vocal is the understatement of the season. People from miles away can hear her yelling at her son, your son, the umpires, the coaches, the concession stand workers, the grounds crew and occasionally God. It’s no wonder her husband is usually drunk. Her vocal contributions aren’t limited to words. She chants, screams, hollers and shouts often unintelligibly, depending on the score of the game. Once in a while you catch yourself wondering if her husband wears earplugs during sex. Oh, she also feels the need to coach every kid on the team, barking instructions loud enough to drown out the coach and confuse the poor players.

    3) ADD Mom – She shows up on the wrong day for practice or forgets it altogether. She takes her kid to the wrong field, dresses him in the wrong uniform, forgets drinks and snacks, etc and is usually on her phone during announcements. During games, someone has to nudge her away from her deep conversation about TJ Maxx’s shoe department, to point out that her kid is at bat. At first you feel sorry for her because she has so much on her plate and seems so frazzled. But after two years of that crap and realizing that she’s no busier than the rest of us, you just accept her as she is and bring extra drinks and snacks for her son.

    4) Mrs. Bag O’ Everything – Your kid forget his uniform belt? She’s got one. Need a soldering iron? Yep, she’s got that too. An extra glass eye? Sure! In fact, the bag this woman carries to the ball field is large enough to double as a carport. She could perform outpatient surgery with the extensive contents of her first aid kit. If she’d been with Jesus in Matthew 14, he wouldn’t have had to multiply the loaves and fishes to feed 5,000 because she’d already be carrying enough for everyone. God bless this mom, although we can’t help but be a tiny bit freaked out by how prepared she ALWAYS is.

    5) Mrs. “Damned if you do. Damned if you don’t.”– Yeah, she’s got a problem with it. No matter what it is. If the kids are wearing gray pants, she’ll complain that they should be wearing white. If the tournament’s nearby, she’ll comment that the team needs to travel to face better competition. She’s never satisfied with any idea the coaches and parents have, but refuses to offer alternatives. She usually loves to talk baseball and about the team. She has conspiracy theories galore. If this team mom is making your life miserable, don’t worry. She’ll get mad and move her kid to a new team soon. Poor kid.

    6) Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde – We love this mom like 90% of the time. She’s charming, quiet, gentle and down-to-earth. And she’ll do anything in the world to help you out. But no matter how long you’ve known her, you still feel like you don’t quite know her. Every so often, during a game, this mom will shed her sweetness and turn into a stark, raving, overly competitive psychopath, screaming death threats at the poor nine-year-olds on the opposing team. Seven seconds later, Mrs. Hyde is back to Dr. Jekyll again, continuing her bleacher conversation about the Baptist church’s prayer shawl ministry, while the rest of the parents are still stunned by her “episode.”

    7) Mrs. Never There – You’re not sure if you’d even recognize her because she’s hardly ever around. And when she does show up, it’s never for an entire game. She doesn’t know any of the other parents and doesn’t care to. A high ranking company VP who is working on her pilot’s license and training for an Iron Girl competition, this life is all about her. Her poor kid’s ballgames fall on the priority list somewhere between pap smears and estate planning.

    8) Pinterest Mom – I love this mom because I’m such a failure as a baker and crafter. She designs special team t-shirts for the parents and younger siblings. Bakes cakes for the players’ birthdays and brings them to the ballpark along with special birthday plates and napkins. On any given tournament Saturday, she was probably up til 2 a.m. the night before, making special treats for each team member. You sort of want to dislike her because she makes you feel like a slacker. But then she’s so darn genuinely nice! How could anyone not like her?

    9) Madame Control Freak – No one’s really sure who made her Queen, but make no mistake, this woman is in charge! From jersey logos to hotel reservations, it’s her way or the highway. Don’t dare to disagree with her or you. will. regret. it. It’s also a very bad idea to commiserate with another mom about what a bully this woman is. She has a well-paid team of moles. Get on her good side and stay there. And honestly, her ideas usually turn out to be the best anyway, as much as we hate to admit it.

    10) Miss America – She’s younger than you, prettier than you, skinnier than you, has bigger boobs than you and cuter clothes than you. You want to hate her, but on top of her beauty, she’s nice and down to earth and funny and self-deprecating…and a great mom. You’d give your left arm to find just one thing wrong with her. But you can’t. Because nothing is.

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    Softball Junkie Indiana's Avatar
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    Too funny! I've definitely shown bits of every one of these over the years. I even took pictures one year, but I am a terrible photographer so reviews were mixed at best. DD's team had a fantastic photographer last year - we never thanked her enough. I had the good fortune to appear to be always prepared this week when I was able to offer up my glove re-stringing thing that has been sitting in the bottom of my bag for three years.

    I'm mostly quiet these days - I'm usually score keeping, which keeps me isolated. I get lonely keeping the book, so sometimes I'll sit and gossip with the other moms while maintaining the count in my head. I'm getting pretty good at that. The other moms know that I'll get a glazed look on my face when there's two on and one out so they know not to ask me any questions until the end of the inning

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    I sat by "It's Alright!" last week. I finally moved. Can't get the bunt down? She would yell "That's alright!" Made 5 errors at SS? Guess what? "That is OK!", too.

    I moved far away from her.
    MTR - A foul ball is a foul ball. Nothing else, just a foul ball.

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    I can talk softball all day eddieq's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amy in AZ. View Post
    I sat by "It's Alright!" last week. I finally moved. Can't get the bunt down? She would yell "That's alright!" Made 5 errors at SS? Guess what? "That is OK!", too.

    I moved far away from her.
    Pitch belt high down the middle of the plate she lets go by for a strike - "That's alright, it wasn't your pitch!"

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    I love the Miss America moms!! LOL
    I got your softballs

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    Lol! I am #4. So if we are ever at a tournament and one of your players needs a chin strap, leg guard buckle, dermabond, eye black, an easy-up, bottle of water, sunscreen (in various spf), biofreeze or KT tape then I am your gal. Now if I only had a pack mule to pull my wagon...

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    I love you SBmom19. I used to carry a bunch of stuff, too. Now, I carry an ice pack and medical tape. If I can't fix it with that, it is time to see SBmom.

    Once my DD forgot her cleats. A neighbor said "I think that I have a pair of 6 1/2s in the van." She dug around for awhile and sure enough, she did!
    MTR - A foul ball is a foul ball. Nothing else, just a foul ball.

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    My DW is the sort of softball mom the kids like to keep AWAY from the game. Although, she did behave herself a bit last week, when she went to a couple of rec league games. DD got HRs in both games, and her team won both games.

    Some of the texts I got during the games. In one game DW criticized DD's pitching. Not enough curl balls. Not sure what a curl ball is, but DD would've been much more effective had she been throwing good curl balls.

    If the team is losing a close game, it is ALWAYS blue's fault. ALWAYS. It can be really hard to calm down DW when the game is stolen from her DD's teams because of bad calls by blue. Esp. if the PU can't even recognize a good curl.

    Enough of whether rise balls really rise. We all know curl balls curl.

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    bmd
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    I wish I could say I was #10....lol But more like #6.

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    I can talk softball all day Mom_Coach_Fan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sbmom19 View Post
    Lol! I am #4. So if we are ever at a tournament and one of your players needs a chin strap, leg guard buckle, dermabond, eye black, an easy-up, bottle of water, sunscreen (in various spf), biofreeze or KT tape then I am your gal. Now if I only had a pack mule to pull my wagon...
    Me too - I even have two first aid kits - one for the dugout and then one for base camp. Have a half-dozen chin straps, extra water, frog togs, sunscreen, just added KT tape, even an unused toothbrush and toothpaste (I'd want to brush my teeth if I ate dirt on a play...)

    Others have laughed, but on more than one occasion it has come in very handy!
    Here to learn. Here to grow.

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