Calming DD down before tryouts

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Jun 18, 2013
322
18
I'm not real sure where to put this one.

My DD, Cricket, is getting ready for her first serious tryouts for travel ball. We have gone through one tryout before her first season in 10U, Spring '13, just for her to get a feel for it. The organization was well known and I had been approached about possibly coaching a new 10U team. I didn't due enough research ahead of time though and the tryout was horrific. The guy who ran the organization was a drill sergeant type and gathered the girls in a circle and told them that they would need to make the decision to commit to softball and stop playing other sports. I had to convince Cricket to play rec ball again the following season because it was such a traumatic experience.

I have been talking with a coach that is about to move up to 12U with his daughter in an organization close to us for the last few weeks. We have emailed 12-15 times and spoken on the phone a few times. Cricket and I met him Saturday at a tournament where his current 10U team is playing and he is a much more appropriate coach for us. We have discussed my coming on as an AC with him if everything works out and so far everything seems to be falling into place. My concern is, Cricket is getting nervous about tryouts already. She has always been a gamer. She doesn't do as well in tryouts as she would like and gets caught in quicksand. I know that the coach is trying to arrange a machine for the girls to hit off of so I am going to take her to some cages that will throw the same speed to get her used to that, but what tips do you have to help get her over the evaluation jitters? I've never liked tryouts either so I am not the best person in the world to offer her advice on hiding the nerves.
 
Jun 7, 2013
984
0
I tell my DDs that everyone is nervous at tryouts. The coaches, the players, and the parents. It is just the way it is. The reassurance that I offer my DDs is that I know that they are going to go out there and do their best and, whatever happens, we will deal with it. I don't think that it makes the case of the nerves go away but it might help--a little.
 
Jul 6, 2013
371
0
Jmo, but if she is nervous that bad then she isn't as confident in her abilities as she should be. Not to say she isn't a very good player, but just that she doesn't feel she is where she wants to be. Best thing for that is reps. Get in the yard a practice fundamentals over and over until she makes no mistakes and is where she feels comfortable. It's what we did some years back when we had to do the tryout thing. Nothing builds confidence like knowing she can make the plays in front of her!
 

JJsqueeze

Dad, Husband....legend
Jul 5, 2013
5,436
38
safe in an undisclosed location
The best thing you can do is not be nervous yourself. If you have apprehension she will sense it. She is 11 and has a lot of softball ahead of her. There is a good home for her whether it is this team or another. so it really doesn't matter how she does, just tell her it is a good opportunity to see how she stacks up and will give you info on what to work on if she doesn't make the team.


I am always a little leery when a kid is transitioning to TB and any sort of coaching 'deal' is part of the tryout. That muddies things up a bit because the parent's desire to coach is now added pressure. If the kid doesn't make the team then she "failed' for her dad as well.

I'm not saying this is the case with you, just that it happens.

That being said, unless this is a TOP TOp notch team, or it is a core group where they just want to add a couple of studs, then she will make the team. It is a buyers market out there in TB.
 
Jun 7, 2013
984
0
I just want to second something that JJsqueeze said. Your DD will reflect your attitude. Even if you are, don't show it. It's added pressure on your DD and will not help her nervousness.
 
Jun 18, 2013
322
18
I am always a little leery when a kid is transitioning to TB and any sort of coaching 'deal' is part of the tryout. That muddies things up a bit because the parent's desire to coach is now added pressure. If the kid doesn't make the team then she "failed' for her dad as well.

I'm not saying this is the case with you, just that it happens.

I understand what you are saying. Me being a part of the coaching team is a big selling point for Cricket. I'm trying to work my way down the ladder so I can slowly phase out and get on the other side of the fence by 14U/school ball.
 
Aug 26, 2011
1,285
0
Houston, Texas
Be prepared, be on time, and keep her occupied. Also, tell her that not only is she trying out, but the team/organization is trying out for her as well. Give her the perspective that she needs to pay attention to the coaches, get a feel if she likes them, and that the tryout is really just a practice.

Good luck!
 
Mar 23, 2010
2,019
38
Cafilornia
Simulate the things she will do the best you can, get her lots of rep's. If you can pick the brain of someone who has been to their tryouts.
Nobody ever lost a tryout on one mistake.
Remind her that if she's going to make a mistake, let it happen while she's going all out. Fail fearlessly.
How you handle a mistake is also part of the tryout.
Coaches really do want her to do well, regardless of their demeanor, don't try to read them. Also don't ever look at dad for his reaction.
Separate yourself as early as you can and make a point of sitting at a reasonable distance. Limit your conversation to "Got water?". Prepare yourself to underreact.
 

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