Contemplating not playing HS next year

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Nov 14, 2011
446
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My DD and I was talking last night and she brought up the possibility of not playing HS next year. She is a sophomore this season and a second year starting pitcher on varsity. While she loves playing for the HS, the fact that she only pitches is a huge disappointment. Last year as a freshman she pitched to a good record but the coach would not let any pitcher bat or play another defensive position. This year we have a new head coach and was hoping that his philosophy with his pitching staff was different, but it isn't. My DD has had 10 at bats through 12 games and has a .250 batting average. I know there are different attitudes with the use of the pitchers in a secondary role but for my DD she wants to play. She has the attitude that she is a softball player, not a softball pitcher. The philosophy of pitchers not batting or playing a secondary defensive position is for all his pitchers, not just my DD so I know it isn't a performance issue. There are 3-4 players on the team that have a batting average below .100 and have more than their share of errors.

Anyone else in this situation and what are your thoughts? We have the opportunity to continue playing ASA where she will get more playing time and definitely more at bats. She just isn't sure if that is the best choice.
 
Feb 17, 2014
7,152
113
Orlando, FL
High School Softball is often like an abusive relationship. You cannot fix it. You cannot make it better. It will not change. It is not your fault. You deserve to be happy. Just say no, walk away, and never look back. :)
 
Nov 29, 2009
2,975
83
High School Softball is often like an abusive relationship. You cannot fix it. You cannot make it better. It will not change. It is not your fault. You deserve to be happy. Just say no, walk away, and never look back. :)

That is almost the exact same advice I gave to a couple of girls I've worked with. While many will trumpet the school spirit and community aspect of HS sports for many girls it's not enough to overcome being miserable. Especially when there are options available to the HS girls in some areas of the country.
 
Feb 17, 2014
7,152
113
Orlando, FL
Above all it has to be a positive and rewarding experience for the kid. Otherwise it becomes toxic and detrimental to their growth. I am at a loss as to why some parents will allow their DD's to be in such an environment is HS ball but would bolt from a TB team for much less. In TB the situation is unacceptable, but in HS it is considered a growing experience and about community and school spirit. WTF?
 
Oct 3, 2011
3,478
113
Right Here For Now
I hear ya and feel your pain. My friend and DD's HS hitting coach got sent out of town on a job and then came back to a "mandatory" OT job. He's the one I bought Tewks ebook for and sent him the link. It looks like he won't be coming back to the team any time for the next couple of years so now they are stuck with a former HS player as a hitting coach who's sole advice is take your hands to the ball and don't pull back. Even worse, she has had several of the best hitters pulled from the batting order because they ignored her and did what's right which is continue to load the hands. With us it's not so much as DD not wanting to play HS ball as it is we may not let her play next year. I don't know what the temp tournament teams look like around here during HS ball but even if there isn't one available, DD would get far more out private practice hitting, fielding, catching and throwing than with the current HS team. Since I have no compunction about pulling my DD even if there isn't a viable TB alternative, I would advise you to have none also...especially if she is the one that brought it up and you already know there is a viable alternative.
 
Last edited:
Jun 27, 2011
5,089
0
North Carolina
While she loves playing for the HS, the fact that she only pitches is a huge disappointment.

There are many, many reasons not to play high school softball. But to play devil's advocate for a minute, I'm not sure I am a fan of this particular reason.

She's basically saying that she'll play, as long as she gets the role that she wants. If not, she won't play. If the coach had this info in tryouts, he/she might not have taken her.

It's a travel-ball attitude, IMO. In travel ball, it's only natural that a player find the team that fits her needs. If she wants to pitch and hit, she finds a team that will let her pitch and hit.

But if players approach HS ball that way, it's a failure to grasp what school sports are about, isn't it? TB is about finding what a team can do for me. School ball is about finding what I can do for the team, playing for something bigger than one's self, making sacrifices, etc.

College ball will be the same. What will happen when a player projected that she'd be the starting 3B as a sophomore, but is still on the bench. Will she transfer?
 
Oct 3, 2011
3,478
113
Right Here For Now
There are many, many reasons not to play high school softball. But to play devil's advocate for a minute, I'm not sure I am a fan of this particular reason.

She's basically saying that she'll play, as long as she gets the role that she wants. If not, she won't play. If the coach had this info in tryouts, he/she might not have taken her.

It's a travel-ball attitude, IMO. In travel ball, it's only natural that a player find the team that fits her needs. If she wants to pitch and hit, she finds a team that will let her pitch and hit.

But if players approach HS ball that way, it's a failure to grasp what school sports are about, isn't it? TB is about finding what a team can do for me. School ball is about finding what I can do for the team, playing for something bigger than one's self, making sacrifices, etc.

College ball will be the same. What will happen when a player projected that she'd be the starting 3B as a sophomore, but is still on the bench. Will she transfer?

CB...another excellent post and point made. However, isn't college selection the same thing as the TB atmosphere? If the athlete and family do their due diligence, they will also be asking that question. In other words, does the team allow their pitchers to hit if they're good hitters and do they offer a good educational value in their major (assuming some scholarship money is awarded obviously). The difference is that in TB the players have the choice of teams and in college, the same could be said. In the case of HS, there are two choices play in the role they choose for you or don't play for them. The only analogous college situation would be if the athlete chose to go to a college that for whatever reason had to play SB as a walk-on or if only 1 college was interested enough to offer some type of scholarship. If offered, they would have to choose to between the role offered or not play. Other than that, a good college prospect would have their choice of at least a couple colleges to make the best team fit for them.
 

JAD

Feb 20, 2012
8,231
38
Georgia
Hard to give solid advice with only the information given. Most HS coaches are more concerned about winning than they are about protecting their pitchers, so they will typically play the 9 girls that give them the best chance to win. Sometime that may mean making trade offs between defensive and offensive capabilities. A coaches job would be easy if every girl was a gold glove fielder and batted .400, but it always seems like the girl with the best bat is weak on defense.
 
Jun 19, 2014
846
43
Raleigh,NC
High School Softball is often like an abusive relationship. You cannot fix it. You cannot make it better. It will not change. It is not your fault. You deserve to be happy. Just say no, walk away, and never look back. :)

For some reason, this is the best description of school ball I heard... and my daughter haven't even hit a year in her experience with school ball. :p
:p
 
Jun 27, 2011
5,089
0
North Carolina
... isn't college selection the same thing as the TB atmosphere? If the athlete and family do their due diligence, they will also be asking that question. In other words, does the team allow their pitchers to hit if they're good hitters and do they offer a good educational value in their major (assuming some scholarship money is awarded obviously). The difference is that in TB the players have the choice of teams and in college, the same could be said.

True, the selection of college and TB are similar. But, it's much easier to get off one TB team and onto another, even in mid-season. Transferring from one college to another is a hassle unless you're Alex Hugo or Geri Ann Glasco. And there is no amount of due diligence that will allow you to predict 4 years with much certainty. It might look like you've got a great shot to be the starting 3B as a sophomore after the all-conference senior graduates, but then they sign a hot-shot freshman, or another girl emerges who can hit 25 HR, so they shoe-horn her into 3B because they have to put her somewhere. Now they want you to be the #1 pinch-hitter and cheerleader until something opens, and it might not. Then what do you do?

I'm not a college coach, but I'd think a major thing I'd be looking for is a quality that made me think, 'That girl isn't just looking for what's in it for her, but really wants to represent this school and will play for her teammates and do everything she can to make it work before she bails out.'

In travel ball, I'm not as worried about that. Easy come, easy go.
 

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