Embarrassing things you say to your daughter in games

BP got me thinking that with his post about calling out to his daughter after a wild pitch that we all must say some pretty funny and embarrassing things to our kids during games.

Here are a couple of gems from my Sunday...

To older DD after their team stank "I'm going to go watch my good kid play now"

To little DD after she charged a runner taking a big lead (as catcher) got her stranded between first and second and then threw the ball to first allowing the runner to advance...."you just proved you are a natural blonde".

To little DD after she hit a hard grounder that rolled to the fence with the bases loaded and ended up winning the game...she said "that's a grand slam dad!"- I said "that's a base hit and an error kid, but I'll buy you a lollipop anyway"

DD (blonde) with runners on 2nd and 3rd with one out leaves one fat and gets roped back to her. Makes a great snag out of defense. Guns the ball home. What? Runner on 3rd (blonde) breaks on the hit and walks into the tag from catcher (red head). Catcher throws to 3rd bc the runner from 2nd (blonde) was jogging toward 3rd. Runner walks into the tag, end of inning.

The opponents coach ask runner on 3rd what was she doing. She said, I thought the bases was loaded. He asked runner on on 2nd. She said she thought that was 3 outs. DD says in the dugout that she thought bases were loaded.

I told her after the game we were one blonde from a triple play. Thank God for the red head.

During an at-bat, while I am coaching 3B: "I'd prefer that you swing at pitches that are in this zip code. They are easier to hit."

It is the parents' job to embarrass their kids.

Two things I've done to embarrass my DD #3:

1.

When we are at home, or just family is around, I am supposed to call her by her nickname, which means "little sister" in the ToiSan dialect of Chinese.
When she is with other kids, I am supposed to call her by her given name. She hates it when I mess up and call her by her nickname. Some of her coaches know about her nickname, though.

2.

Interesting thing about mixed race kids, some of the kids will look more like one race than the other. I knew some sisters from South Africa who used to have to swim in different pools because one looked "black" while the other looked "colored". For my kids, DD #2 looks the most European, while DD #3 looks the most Asian, with DD #1 in the middle. That deals with body types as well as facial features, DD #1 calls DD #3 "Scrawnle". DD #1 says DD #3 "passed skinny about negative five pounds ago. She's a Scrawnle."

Once, at a tournament, DD #3 had been running the bases really well. Her TB coach also has 3 daughters and one son. TB coach's DD #3 is on the same TB team as my DD #3. TB coach's DD #2 used to be on the same rec ball team as my DD #1. So, I asked TB coach whether DD #1 or DD #3 was faster at that age. TB coach has to think for a while, but says she thinks DD #1 had more muscle.

Just then DD #3 runs up and grabs me from behind. I wind up saying: "Hi Scrawnle". DD #3 didn't like me doing that in public.

not games but at practice when one of them make a error I tell them, "you know a boy would have made that play" they love it when I say that

My daughter would cut me in half with a look if I embarrassed her at a game with something I said.

chinamigarden said:

My daughter would cut me in half with a look if I embarrassed her at a game with something I said.

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Which is why you SHOULD!

BobInMadison said:

Which is why you SHOULD!

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That is the fun part....I tell them all the time that I sired them for my own personal amusement and messing with them is the great joy of fatherhood. They can sort it out with a good therapist later in life.

After a bad throw: "You throw like a girl."

I always get eye rolls from all the girls when I say that.

Our running joke is after she makes a silly mental error: "well, you are blonde, after all.", I'll say...

She's used to it now.
Need to get a new one for '15 with some more bite.

PS I used to be blonde (mostly bald now) and all of these DD#1, DD#2, DD#3, DD#4, etc stories are confusing the hell out of me.