High School Softball

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Aug 27, 2013
11
0
Needed some thoughts and opinions on this situation..

Due to lacking funds, my high school is bringing in player's fathers to assist in coaching both varsity and JV, as well as run the winter training. They are the same fathers who coach the town's travel league, and their plan is to make their whole travel team the varsity team. Making the smart decision and getting as far away from daddy ball as possible, I left my town's travel team at a young age to look elsewhere, causing hard feelings along the way. Now, it is coming back to bite me in the butt.

This is causing my ideas on high school ball to change completely. Has anyone faced a similar problem or have experience with this??
 
Jun 18, 2012
3,183
48
Utah
Yup!

My daughter's high school coach has a large private softball organization. In fact, he (a daddy coach himself) expects any and all players who play high school ball to play on in his private softball organization (various "travel-ball" teams) in the off-season. Sure, there is a lot of good that comes from his private softball travel-ball organization, but it can, and usually does, lead to a serious conflict of interest and abuse of power. In this situation, it is often the case (as is currently the case with my daughter) that the high school coach will be vindictive toward any player who doesn't worship at his/her private softball organization altar. I see this as a private-public conflict. That is, a conflict of interest between a private softball organization and a public school softball organization.

You see, given the availability of competitive private softball teams, players have a lot of options in the high school off season. No high school coach should believe he/she owns his/her players in the off season. Players should be completely free to play on whatever private softball team they choose to.

My own daughter, who use to be a pick-up player on the high school coach's private team, is now ostracized (shunned) because she didn't join his private team right after the high school season, rather she chose to stay on the team she'd been on.

Again, given high school softball is part of a PUBLIC school, these private-public conflicts of interest should not be allowed in the high school softball programs.

I don't know why people in coaching positions in situations such as these generally fall prey to being vindictive to those who have not worshiped or will not worship at their private team's altar.

In my daughter's case... She did pay varsity this past spring as a sophomore. I think she got to do so because (1) she is a good player, and (2) the coach was trying to win her over to pay on his private softball team. Once she rejected the offer to play on his private team, even though she's among the top five players among the high school players, I don't see her having much of a chance this coming high school season. It's all due to a vindictive coach. It's wrong.....morally wrong, but we are powerless. He and his private softball organization clearly own the high school softball organization--private-public conflict of interest!

I'm not sure there is much you can do other than work hard, do your best, and improve yourself. High school ball isn't everything.

I hope things work out for you. Tough situation!
 
Last edited:
Jun 18, 2012
3,183
48
Utah
...competition, fairness, openness...

From whose perspective. The cherry-picked coaching staff can be wolves in sheep's clothing in this regard, particularly when there is this private-public conflict of interest that arises when a private softball organization has control of a public softball organization.
 

JJsqueeze

Dad, Husband....legend
Jul 5, 2013
5,436
38
safe in an undisclosed location
I have experience in causing waves and needing to calm the water. I would call the coach and just have an honest man to man. Tell him that you want her to play but are afraid that historical baggage will negatively affect her and that regardless of any bad blood between the two of you that you trust him as a coach and a man to treat her fairly. Get a read on where he is coming from and then make a decision if you think it will work out.

DD is on a team right now with a coach who I have butted heads with for years, she is being treated fairly and we have grown into a mutual respect bordering on liking each other, I think we both recognize that we are pretty similar and a lot of our friction has been based on our competitive natures. But I had to show support for the coach before anything was reciprocated. People generally respond well when you appeal to their better sides.
 
Jun 18, 2012
3,183
48
Utah
I have no problem with a travelball coach being the high school head or assistant coach, but I do think it is impossible for many, maybe most, to be unbiased/fair, whatever the hell "fair" means in this regard.


For me, the most troubling part of njx2's post is "They are the same fathers who coach the town's travel league, and their plan is to make their whole travel team the varsity team." This is a serious private-ball/public-ball conflict of interest and abuse of power.
 
Last edited:
Sep 24, 2013
696
0
Midwest
Needed some thoughts and opinions on this situation..

Due to lacking funds, my high school is bringing in player's fathers to assist in coaching both varsity and JV, as well as run the winter training. They are the same fathers who coach the town's travel league, and their plan is to make their whole travel team the varsity team. Making the smart decision and getting as far away from daddy ball as possible, I left my town's travel team at a young age to look elsewhere, causing hard feelings along the way. Now, it is coming back to bite me in the butt.

This is causing my ideas on high school ball to change completely. Has anyone faced a similar problem or have experience with this??

This is not legal in MANY states. Mot have a 5 player per team cap to prevent unfair practices in high school athletics.

Also most states have rules and criteria for volunteer coaches regarding selections. Also they are held to a higher standard so their activities outside of HS ball are scrutinized-if their behaviors are not TOP NOTCH 1 report will end the nightmare.
 
Jun 18, 2012
3,183
48
Utah
That's not the problem, the problem is they often get the coaching position in rec or TB without any experience or credentials; then they hang on as daddy ball coach for years. Teachers are subject to many rules, training, and background checks to get near our kids, and then some coaches waltz in? How do we know our kids our safe and getting proper sports values, never mind causing damage to the kids' psyches?

A agree with the rules and background checks to get near kids. I think that is generally adhered to in public schools.

I've seen coaches (high school and travelball) who have coached for some years (i.e., have experience) and who are seen to have "credentials" who don't really have either. But, in both cases ("experience" and "credentials") who ultimately determines this? There are many people here on this site who I believe have "experience" and "credentials" that you don't think have either. There are also people here on this site who proclaim that they are not "experts" but who post very sound perspectives. So I ask, "Experience and credentials" according to whom? The people who pick and choose high school coaches themselves typically have no clue if a softball coach candidate has the right experience or the proper credentials because many, maybe all, of the search committee people have not been around the sport enough to know.
 
Last edited:
Jun 18, 2012
3,183
48
Utah
Needed some thoughts and opinions on this situation..

Due to lacking funds, my high school is bringing in player's fathers to assist in coaching both varsity and JV, as well as run the winter training. They are the same fathers who coach the town's travel league, and their plan is to make their whole travel team the varsity team. Making the smart decision and getting as far away from daddy ball as possible, I left my town's travel team at a young age to look elsewhere, causing hard feelings along the way. Now, it is coming back to bite me in the butt.

This is causing my ideas on high school ball to change completely. Has anyone faced a similar problem or have experience with this??

I take it you are the player (not the father of a player). Would you care to tell us what position(s) you play and at what age level. Describe what competition you face in high school in other players in your positions, etc. Also describe what these coaches might actually think of you.
 
Aug 29, 2011
2,581
83
NorCal
This whole thing reeks and should not happen. This is how predators and abusive/bad coaches get near kids.

While I tend to agree this may be a bad situation I think you are taking gigantic leap to conclusions with this and painting with a an exceptionally broad brush.

Given the number of actual teacher/coach predator abuse reports, slinging mud at essentially volunteer coaches is a pretty unnecessary thing to do. Particularly to a specific situation that you have no details about.

And how do you know the school is not conducting these background checks on volunteers?
 
Feb 17, 2014
7,152
113
Orlando, FL
That's not the problem, the problem is they often get the coaching position in rec or TB without any experience or credentials; then they hang on as daddy ball coach for years. Teachers are subject to many rules, training, and background checks to get near our kids, and then some coaches waltz in? How do we know our kids our safe and getting proper sports values, never mind adults coming in and causing damage to the kids' psyches?

Lack of money is not an excuse to create a dynasty. Quite the opposite.

Seriously? Many HS coaches have little to no experience and the credentials are a joke. A couple years ago my AC and I completed all that was required in a week. It is doubtful that "qualifications" are an issue here.
 

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