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Thread: What would it take to get your daughter on my team?

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    Certified softball maniac CoogansBluff's Avatar
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    Default What would it take to get your daughter on my team?

    My DD is 14, but for the first time in her life, she's checking ads and going to a series of tryouts. She's played 5 years of travel without having to do that. It's been a learning experience for me to observe it.

    Let's say you have a daughter who has some offers.

    What is it that will persuade her to join a particular team? What advice would you give coaches who give your daughter a tryout and want her? What are some things that coaches can do to blow it?

    My DD has looked at four teams. The best of the four didn't offer but said they'd like her in the future when girls age or drop out and wanted us to stay in touch. They did everything right. Very quick to return calls/e-mails, quality practice, made her feel very wanted, even though they didn't take her. It was like they were more disappointed than she was. Their coach then recommended us to another very good team and called that coach and put in a good word. Will try out w/ that team soon. Very impressed. And this was the strongest of the four teams.

    The other three could've had her, but I'd say only one still has a chance -

    1 - Failed to return e-mails before ever seeing her. Very confident she could've helped that team. (They don't know me or her, so it wasn't that. Just not professional, I guess.)
    2 - Offered, but didn't seem to care if she joined. Don't know if my DD is unique, but it's important for her to feel wanted. They tried to sell her on what they have to offer (we put kids in college), like it was some business deal. But my DD wants to be liked and valued as a kid first. She wants the relationship.
    3 - Poor instruction. Tried to radically change her swing and introduced her to a device designed to force her to swing down on the ball to create backspin. Good thing we saw that because this team was very friendly and almost had her at hello.

    What are your experiences? How do coaches blow it in recruiting?

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    Certified softball maniac Doug Romrell's Avatar
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    That #3 is a huge one for me, particularly that part about trying to change her swing so that she swings down on the ball to create backspin!

    Given my daughter is a pitcher (and outfielder), for me #4 would be the coach or coaches aren't really students of the game, as they think the correct pitching mechanics are hello elbow pitching mechanics. If those coaches insist she incorporate anything close to the mechanics generally associated with the hello elbow style... they shouldn't consider her one of their pitchers, because she won't be pitching.

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    Softball Junkie fastpitch26's Avatar
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    I think all three points are valid and also agree with what Doug is saying. But I will provide a quick story to illustrate what is important to my daughter. She guest played for two different teams last summer. Both teams were similar in talent but needed a pitcher for a tournament. She played quite a bit for both and really liked the other players. The coach of team A referred to her by name throughout the entire tournament while the coach of team B referred to her as "hey, #10". She enjoyed herself and didn't even mention this until later in the summer. Later in the summer I was contacted by both coaches about having her guest for the same tournament. I offered her the choice, and she went with team A. That is when she told me about this experience. Even though she enjoyed the tournament with team B, and liked the coach, the "hey, #10" is what stuck with her.

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    CoogansBluff (02-07-2014)

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    Certified softball maniac YOCOACH's Avatar
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    After 4 years of looking at want ads and trying out for various teams, DD has finally learned what to look for as far as she was concerned. This list is from her own mouth...I'm just the typist...lol. As you said, she wants to feel wanted. Not only wanted by the coaches but by the other girls and their parents on the team. She wants to join a team that gets the team concept, appreciates her for her skills/work ethic and not have to deal with the petty jealousy from other players and their parents. She wants to join a team that will compete against the best in the area and not be afraid to go in search of even better competition; even if it's half-way across the country. Those two things to her are the most important things to her as far as choosing a team.

    The immediate no from her would be coaches that get angry and yell at their players. DD's not saying a stern talking to isn't required every now and then. She's talking about a big time blow up. She would say, "It's a frickin' game for cryin' out loud!" The other immediate no would come from poor instruction or instruction that goes against what she has been taught. If the coaches insist upon something that she feels is the wrong way, she will walk in a heartbeat. If she sees the value in a different way of doing something and it will improve her skillset/game, she will listen and do it the way the coach wants...at least until college where it will most likely be the coaches way or the highway. One other thing she wants from her coaches, she wants them to be students of the game. She expects them to continue to learn so that they can pass on the innovations of the game down to her.

    Lastly, she insists that she practice with the team at least once. She wants to see what the coaches are like during a practice and how they interact with their team. Any bad feelings she has she just won't accept an offer. She has been burned too many times in the past for her to put up with it.

    As her parents, we leave it all up to her. We can suggest and discuss the various choices but ultimately, the decision is up to her.
    Last edited by YOCOACH; 02-07-2014 at 02:10 PM.

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    Checking out the clubhouse SandyM's Avatar
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    My daughter carefully studies the roster before a tryout. She always wants to know what position the coaches' daughters play, and where they stack in the batting order. Then, at the tryout, she can observe the players' skills relative to their position on the team. She researches how long each player has been on that team, and who they played for previously. Then she looks at who is in the dugout, besides the players, during tryouts. Each tryout is like a research project for her. I enjoy watching her thought process in selecting a team. She isn't necessarily looking for friendly, she is looking for professionally run tryouts.

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    CoogansBluff (02-07-2014)

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    Certified softball maniac CoogansBluff's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by YOCOACH View Post
    After 4 years of looking at want ads and trying out for various teams, DD has finally learned what to look for as far as she was concerned. This list is from her own mouth...I'm just the typist...lol. ...
    Yo - Your post sounds as if my daughter wrote it. That's exactly what she would've said on every single point, from being wanted, to coaches that don't yell and get angry, to playing the best competition, to wanting to meet the players ahead of time, to resisting coaching that conflicts w/ what she'd been taught. Regarding that last point, my DD is coachable, IMO, but she realizes that it will be stressful if her TB coach is teaching something that is at odds w/ what her hitting coach teaches.

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    Certified softball maniac YOCOACH's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CoogansBluff View Post
    Yo - Your post sounds as if my daughter wrote it. That's exactly what she would've said on every single point, from being wanted, to coaches that don't yell and get angry, to playing the best competition, to wanting to meet the players ahead of time, to resisting coaching that conflicts w/ what she'd been taught. Regarding that last point, my DD is coachable, IMO, but she realizes that it will be stressful if her TB coach is teaching something that is at odds w/ what her hitting coach teaches.
    Luckily, I have been asked to either be HC or AC of her teams. I figure, if I spent money on a hitting coach, pitching coach, catching coach, whatever, I wouldn't want anyone contradicting what they are teaching. Therefore, I won't do it to others nor will I let it be done to her and neither will she Then again, if there are better ways to do something, I'm all for explaining why I feel they are better and let the girl and her parents decide which path they want to follow.
    Last edited by YOCOACH; 02-07-2014 at 02:23 PM.

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    Softball Junkie GunnerShotgun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CoogansBluff View Post
    but she realizes that it will be stressful if her TB coach is teaching something that is at odds w/ what her hitting coach teaches.
    Just playing devils advocate but what does your HC know? If I am the coach recruiting your DD I am going to ask her who her HC is and if I don't know him try to understand what they teach.

    It will be stressful for the me if the HC is teaching something that is at odds w/what I teach.

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    I eat, sleep and breathe softball GOINGDEEP's Avatar
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    Heck, what would it take for you to let me come coach your DD's team!!!??? I need some softball and need it quick!! I'd even settle in the bat boy role just to get my foot in the door.
    Arrive, raise hell, leave. - Steve Austin

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    Certified softball maniac YOCOACH's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GunnerShotgun View Post
    Just playing devils advocate but what does your HC know? If I am the coach recruiting your DD I am going to ask her who her HC is and if I don't know him try to understand what they teach.

    It will be stressful for the me if the HC is teaching something that is at odds w/what I teach.
    Gunner, no disrespect, but If his DD is hitting 17 HR's, batting .591 avg and has an OBP of .750 and a slugging+OBP of 1.77 in the same year, why would you want to change anything? Just playing devil's advocate to yours. Obviously the coach wants his DD for many reasons. One of the most important as far as I'm concerned is her stick. Thus, why would any coach, being in their right mind, want to change the swing for which they gave her an offer?
    Last edited by YOCOACH; 02-07-2014 at 03:23 PM.

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