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Thread: Daddy-ball

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    Checking out the clubhouse Bring'nHeat's Avatar
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    Default Daddy-ball

    Ok, can someone out there give me some sound advice? How do I and some of my teammates deal with the coaches daughter? We are having a hard time putting up with her acting like she "rules" the team and basically thinks she can do what ever she wants to because she is the coaches daughter. A lot of us are trying to tolerate her, but with each passing tournament it is getting harder and harder.
    When my dad was coaching, he was the hardest on me and I was expected to set the lead and examples. He always told me that if he let me get away with something, then the others would think they could get away with it to.
    HELP!!! Please.

  2. #2
    I can talk softball all day Coach Stan's Avatar
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    This is a no win situation for you and your team mates. Unfortunately the only way to hopefully fix it is bring it up as a group what you feel is the inappropriate actions by the coaches daughter. If you do it by yourself it will look as though you are the only one with the problem and nothing will be done. However with all of you approaching the coach hopefully will help and then you will see if the team is all about the team or his daughter and then you can make further decisions as to leave or not. If you stay then you and the rest of the team will have to understand that things will not change and you need to work thru it. Good luck

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    I can talk softball all day DonnieS's Avatar
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    Besides me (two daughters on the team), I have two assts, both have a daughter each on the team. I have to separate those guys from their daughters because they are so hard on their kids. I have been told that the only kid I yell it is my daughter, but then its only one, because my other daughter is harder on herself than I could ever be. If you're on a team coached by dads of kids on the team, and they do not act like our group, leave but be gentle, you will see these people again.

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    I can talk softball all day fivepotsogold's Avatar
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    Default daddy ball

    My DD played in a travel Fall league .. open to kids not in Travel...4 teams ... coaches kids were placed on other teams.
    NO preferential or harsh treatment for any ...

    My DD 12U team ... coaches DD is on the team ... very good player, very nice kid. He is a bit harsh on her ... but not crossing line.

    I coach my DD's (10 and 12) LL team .... my kids are expected to work hard.
    No preferential treatment ... I do expect them to help and not to mouth off at all. I don't yell at any of the kids.

    It is definitely a balancing act.

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    I can talk softball all day Coachmom's Avatar
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    I have a few questions:

    Is the Coach putting his daughter in a position of authority?
    What I mean by that is...
    is he telling her to get the team together and stretch or warm up. Is he asking her to demonstrate skills that the team will be working on, Is he asking her to get the team cheering or talking on the field?

    This can be a very awkward situation for the daughter of a coach because they want to show leadership skills but also want to be part of the team.
    We all know that girls can be petty and jealous so I'm just wondering what exactly you mean by "she rules the team".

    If the kid is just bossy and bratty that's a whole different issue. Not sure what you can do about it except find a new team.

    We had a situation like that once , where the coaches daughter was a problem. We ended up leaving the team because we realized that confronting the situation would be a no-win situation.
    We found a team that had no coaches daughters on it and are very happy there.
    Good Luck.

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    Super Moderator sluggers's Avatar
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    Daddy coaches: I love them and I hate them. Can't stand to have 'em coach, but won't have a team if they don't coach. May they have a short career filled with wins.
    Ray

    Every softball parent keeps a hockey mask and a butcher knife in their car...

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    Checking out the clubhouse Bring'nHeat's Avatar
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    I've been on other teams where the dad coaches the daughter and there wasn't any problems because he treated everyone equally. His daughter said that her dad is in a hard position because she was his daughter, but if she was to get away with something then everyone would think it was ok. I do remember him being hard on her, but he was hard on all of us. I liked knowing that there were rules, boundaries and expectations.
    As for my new team, it's more that she feels as though she doesn't have to do the drills, or that she can dictate what position she plays (even when other girls are better at that position). It is just frustrating! I don't want to jump teams (I like consistency), but maybe after the season I will move up and find another more committed team.
    Thanks for everyone advice. My parents have basically told me all of the same things. Thanks for the reinforcement.

  8. #8
    Abby's Dad FJRGerry's Avatar
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    As a daddy/coach I can say if my daughter started acting as a "prima donna" she'd be benched. I teach her to be proud of her accomplishments, but humble in her attitude. Every girl on our team has the equal opportunity to play every position. If they show they play the position best then it's theirs.

    Interestingly when she first joined the team last August (her first year of travel ball) the top pitcher was a prima donna (and her parents wanted it that way). I told my daughter that if she wanted to be the top pitcher she would have to earn it by proving herself - not only by pitching well, but by being a team player and willing to play wherever asked. This past March the other girl quit the team with no notice (a big collective sigh of relief was expressed by all) so my daughter has become the top pitcher and knows it's been earned, not given.

    Not knowing your age I'm not sure if it's best to, as a team, talk to your coach, or if you're younger talk to your parents and have them talk to the coach.

    Best of luck!

    Gerry

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