I could really use some advice..

My dd says she wants to play college ball and wants to go to a D1 school, however, we don't feel she puts in the extra effort to get there. She's a pitcher. Playing D1 ball is a lot of work and we don't think she gets just how much work it takes. My husband and I go back forth on how much we should push her.. If she really wants it she'll put in the extra work on her own, right?

My husband is very frustrated because he knows she has the talent, but she just doesn't have the drive we think she should. She really needs to work on her east/west pitches, but she would rather spend more time on her phone and on her social life. She's 16 and a sophomore and plays on a well known travel team. She has a couple of mid level D1 schools looking at her and she does send out emails, but it's usually after we have asked her. We have also talked to her about looking at D2 and D3 schools, but she is adamant about playing D1. I think this has to do with a few of her softball friends already getting verbals at D1 schools.

We just don't know what to do.. We know we can't want it more than her, but we just don't know how much we should push her or if we should. If you have a daughter going through the recruiting process or have gone through it, can you tell me how much your daughter worked on her own without being asked or pushed? We just don't know if this is normal for this age. She talks about wanting one thing, but doesn't put the work in. Do we stop sending her to camps unless she starts putting in more effort? Maybe we're asking too much from her..
Thanks for any input!

A 16-year old is more concerned with her social life than softball and college choices. I would advise pushing her, especially right now during "prime time" for her recruitment. A year from now will be too late. Once she verbals all of the time and effort spent on recruiting go away and she can go back to her social life and working on her pitching mechanics.

There is a 2016 catcher on my DD's TB team. She is a very good defensive catcher, with a good bat and good speed for a catcher. She wants to play college softball, but took last year off because she was burned out. Now her options are limited to walking on somewhere, hoping a scholarship opens up somewhere, applying for academic money only, or going JUCO. Her timing for taking a year off could not have been worse.

Will a girl who's not willing to put in the work to get to college ball have the work ethic to make it once she gets there, if she only gets there because of her parents pushing her? I don't know much about the realities of athletics in college but I'm always reading about how demanding it is and hard to balance. At what point do parents let go and let their kids make it (or not) on their own?

This is a genuine question, not an opinion masked as a question.

grcsftbll said:

Will a girl who's not willing to put in the work to get to college ball have the work ethic to make it once she gets there, if she only gets there because of her parents pushing her? I don't know much about the realities of athletics in college but I'm always reading about how demanding it is and hard to balance. At what point do parents let go and let their kids make it (or not) on their own?

This is a genuine question, not an opinion masked as a question.

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This is exactly what my husband and I have been talking about.. Does our daughter truly understand the work involved? We battle with, do we push her or let it go and let her suffer the consequences.. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for her, but then she has got to want it enough to put the work in on her own. On this flip side, she's 16. We need a manual on this..LOL!!

Thank you for your response!!

Why don't they come with a manual? Winging it gets old!

JAD said:

A 16-year old is more concerned with her social life than softball and college choices. I would advise pushing her, especially right now during "prime time" for her recruitment. A year from now will be too late. Once she verbals all of the time and effort spent on recruiting go away and she can go back to her social life and working on her pitching mechanics.

There is a 2016 catcher on my DD's TB team. She is a very good defensive catcher, with a good bat and good speed for a catcher. She wants to play college softball, but took last year off because she was burned out. Now her options are limited to walking on somewhere, hoping a scholarship opens up somewhere, applying for academic money only, or going JUCO. Her timing for taking a year off could not have been worse.

Click to expand...

Thank you for your input.. She is at her prime for recruiting and that is the reason we are struggling with what to do.

grcsftbll said:

Will a girl who's not willing to put in the work to get to college ball have the work ethic to make it once she gets there, if she only gets there because of her parents pushing her? I don't know much about the realities of athletics in college but I'm always reading about how demanding it is and hard to balance. At what point do parents let go and let their kids make it (or not) on their own?

This is a genuine question, not an opinion masked as a question.

Click to expand...

Is the lack of "extra effort" TamiAZ is referring to pitching practice or recruiting? Regardless, as a parent I would push my DD - she is either going to work hard towards a college scholarship, move to REC ball, or quit, but I would not spend the time/effort/money for my DD to play high level TB if she was going to half-rear it. I would also continue to push my DD to work hard until she left for college. If she does not put in the work in college she will wash out, and that will be on her, but I will sleep well at night knowing I did everything I could to push her to excel.

My DD does not come home from school and say "let's go pitch", but when I tell her we need to practice, she does it without hesitation and works hard. I also use the fact that her teammates are counting on her to be at her best every weekend as a motivator.

TamiAz said:

Thank you for your input.. She is at her prime for recruiting and that is the reason we are struggling with what to do.

Click to expand...

..........

I'm with JAD on this....

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JAD said:

Is the lack of "extra effort" TamiAZ is referring to pitching practice or recruiting? Regardless, as a parent I would push my DD - she is either going to work hard towards a college scholarship, move to REC ball, or quit, but I would not spend the time/effort/money for my DD to play high level TB if she was going to half-rear it. I would also continue to push my DD to work hard until she left for college. If she does not put in the work in college she will wash out, and that will be on her, but I will sleep well at night knowing I did everything I could to push her to excel.

My DD does not come home from school and say "let's go pitch", but when I tell her we need to practice, she does it without hesitation and works hard. I also use the fact that her teammates are counting on her to be at her best every weekend as a motivator.

Click to expand...

Exactly this for us. It is easy for DD to be lazy and lounge around (teenager, duh!) but when I gently push her to practice/workout, she does it. The only aspect she dreads the most are the emails and phone calls, but she is definitely getting better at it...and prefers text if they text her. Yes, when not playing games, there are some things she would rather be doing than practice...only because it requires sweat and hard work. It's a struggle balancing your love of friends, social life, shopping, laziness, netflixing, etc along with your passion for softball!! But once she is on the field, it's all about the ball, the mound and the dirt.