She is doing her job

ArkFastpitch · Sep 21, 2014

DD has picked up with a new 12u team for fall. She was really excited to play with this team in the beginning because when we had played against them in tourneys, they seemed like a really talented team. We have now played in 4 tourneys with this team and only won 5 games. The defense is absolutely horrid. We had 7 errors in our last game and gave up a ton of extra bases.

DD is pitching her heart out and getting the easy grounders and pop-ups but the defense is not backing her up. She understands that they should be making the plays but blames herself for every hit. She thinks she is letting the team down because she should be shutting every batter down.

How can I make her understand that she is doing her job by getting the defense what should be easy routine outs? I am proud of her for not pointing the finger and for wanting to share the responsibility but she thinks she is a failure because she can't carry the whole defense.

humpty · Sep 21, 2014

Her job is to throw the pitch to the location it is called. That's all she can control. It takes a strong kid to be a pitcher. Learning how to deal with failure is an important lesson.

MK37 · Sep 21, 2014

DD has experienced much of the same. The part that frustrates me is when you hear teammates yelling, come on you got her, strike her her out. But I keep reminding her that she can only do so much. I sent her the following link because sometimes it's best to come from someone else. 13 Tips for Fastpitch Pitchers | Softball is for Girls

JAD · Sep 21, 2014

ArkFastpitch said:
She understands that they should be making the plays but blames herself for every hit. She thinks she is letting the team down because she should be shutting every batter down.

Teach her how to keep a scorebook and how to calculate ERA. Then show her the difference between earned runs and unearned runs. Come up with goals for her when she is pitching and keep track of how she is doing - an ERA under 2.00, a strikeout to walk ratio of 3/1 or better, no leadoff walks, 70% first pitch strikes, ect.

KCM · Sep 21, 2014

What JAD said carries a lot of positive to a young pitcher.

Amy in AZ. · Sep 21, 2014

Is the coach helping at all? I find around here, that if i am friendly with the coach, I have to absolutely beg him to go out to the circle.

I ask my students "Is the coach calling any pitches?" "No." "Any locations?" "No." "Did he come out to the circle?" "No."

Is the coach helping your DD?

ArkFastpitch · Sep 21, 2014

The coaches do try to help. HC is really good about calling time to calm the defense down after a series if errors. He always high fives DD after a meeting in the circle or as she's going into the dugout.

riseball · Sep 21, 2014

It gets better with time. Back in the day when my DD was pitching 12U she used to carry the weight of the team on her shoulders blaming herself for defensive mistakes. Thought it was up to her to get K's so defense would not make mistakes. Things change over time. Now she still gets plenty of K's but when the defense doesn't perform she is not afraid to "motivate" them to do their job.

ArkFastpitch · Sep 21, 2014

Out in Left Field said:
That site is just silly in saying "a perfect inning is 3 pitches, or "if defense does not support you it is on them," etc.

If the adults don't point out this crap it's not an issue for kids. Kids love to experiment, and learn so well because they don't fear failing and can move on. So stop making the game so adult-like, where everything is a plus, a minus, a snipe, someone's fault, "a job." We need to teach tolerance of mistakes, as kids don't practice like we used to; they play games. Our learning takes place in games at 10-12u. It is the FALL so who cares; there is no willfullness in mistakes; they are a natural part of learning.

Unrealistic goals (or sarcasm?) that an adult can't even accomplish (first quote), or over-analysis and blame game (second statement above) is what many would say is what's wrong.. And some of this silliness is coming from people who have no understanding of teamwork, pitching, or anything else about the game, apparently. Probably never played sports or stopped at 10 themselves and don't remember.

There are days when the pitcher can't find a strike out or ground ball herself or a hitter can't get on base. As a parent, do you want the blame game to come back to your kid? Is this how you want to play it?

If you don't like teammates, there are individual sports. Sorry, but you just don't blame your teammates, you don't think about it, and you support them and pick them up when needed. You move on, and win the rest of the game. You got hitting, never mind cheering, positive energy and all kinds of ways to battle back and keep trying as a team. Just how did this become a failure in the kid's mind and all on her, as it is a team sport?

In some cases, what the kids tell each other, the adults say or is far more important on making less errors than physical practice.

OILF, I am confused by your post. Are you attacking me, my daughter, or the author of the article that you called "Crap"? To say that a 12 year old doesn't understand failure or success is assanine. I might agree if this was Tball.

My daughter doesn't blame anyone for failure. She does however gauge her own success by the the end result and success of her team. What I was getting at was trying to help her understand that even though her team may not be successful, she is still doing her job.

I am very well aware of the team sport concept. I feel no need to validate myself in any way but, I played baseball and football from the age of 5 thru highschool and played college football. I coached my son from Tball til highschool and coached my daughter from Tball til her first year of 12u TB.

Jojo · Jan 22, 2015

It's really hard when a kid begins to realize how much work they put into their skill, and then realize the other players are not putting in any extra time on their skills.

My DD went through this as well, and back in her day, no one even took hitting lessons outside of team practice.
But I was that "crazy" parent that made her practice 5-6 days per week, on hitting, fielding and pitching.

So my DD grew up trying to field the entire the infield. She never became one those "Diva" pitchers that refuse to field.
So in the end the experience actually helped her be a better pitcher, a lot of the up the middle singles and doubles became outs.

She is doing her job

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