The best way to help softball players feel good

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Ken Krause

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May 7, 2008
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Mundelein, IL
University of Arizona head coach Mike Candrea is famous for saying that the difference between boys and girls is that boys have to play good to feel good, and girls have to feel good to play good. There is a lot of truth in that as anyone who has ever coached both can attest. But […]
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Dec 7, 2011
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OILF - you and most other "lefties" need to accept the fact that there ARE differences between men and women. Guess what - there are differences between more than just the genders too. Statement of FACT.

But OILF I will probably be square on your side when I say that these differences are not the basis for what is deemed overall good/bad or right /wrong.

By calling out differences why must you assume it is denigrating all the time? There are male stereotypes that I fit the bill on but does that make me better/worse than females...?.....No.....just different.

I have coached both young sides of the gender gap. they DO differ in the stated regard.
 
Jan 18, 2010
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In your face
I'm not sure it's as simple as "play good to feel good" or "feel good to play good". Just playing good might be the case, if we didn't keep score. My girls and I "felt" our best when we won, that's just a fact from both genders. But, when we lost, it pissed them off ( sometimes more than me ) and they were physically/mentally ready to go right back into battle. <------- That use to be more male oriented.

I believe the female "timid" gap has shrunk over the past 20 years, I'm 41 and female athletes in my glory days were more emotionally compromised than today.
 
Jun 27, 2011
5,089
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North Carolina
Ken - I like the article and agree w/ your coaching philosophy. But OILF is questioning whether gender needed to be a part of it. Wouldn't all the advice you gave about boys apply to teenage boys? Some boys (and parents of boys) might be insulted at this -

''Girls are smart, and they tend to be more self-aware than boys, especially in the teen years.''

So are boys not smart? Do coaches have to dumb it down for boys because they're not as self-aware? :)

Again, I like the article. But this forum is for critique, so I think it's a fair question.
 
Dec 5, 2012
4,143
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Mid West
I've coached both. The feel good first mentality is more noticeable in the female group at approx 14-16 ages IMO... However both boys and girls equally respond to playing well. Nothing boosts confidence like making the play consistently.
OILF, while sounding very defensive and feminist. Does make a point in that people are just people and we as coaches shouldn't have preconceived notions based on gender as to how we coach.
 
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