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obbay · 08-25-2008, 06:53 PM

DD's summer team won their division last year at 12U. Moved up to 14U this year and finished below .500.

The team didn't seem as focused on playing and handed over more than a couple of wins that should've been theirs (6-1 turned into a 7-6 loss). I was talking to one of the coaches after the season ended and we were noting the difference between us as boys and this team. He was telling me some of the things he would say to try to get them going but seldom did it work. Seldom did they stand at the fence cheering their team on.

What gets a team of 13 yo girls motivated to win? Is it just that they maybe don't have the focus to be competitive? Last year may have been a fluke, but they impressed me with their ability to retain control, even when things went wrong.

This year had girls missing flyballs followed by stopping, rolling their eyes and groaning before going after the missed ball. The coach screaming very clearly where to make the throw and the fielder choosing to throw it elsewhere. Baserunners running into outs where there was no force play, a catcher (possibly the best I've seen in this age bracket) electing to (over)throw a runner out at first on a bunt rather than tag the girl out who's running right toward her from 3rd.

So if these girls all supposedly want to play, how do we get them motivated?
It's not my team but it could be.

thanks.

3'sDad · 08-26-2008, 07:46 PM

Someone wiser than me once said "Boys need to win to be team mates and girls need to be a team mates to win"....sounds to me like there was some unresolved friction between players that the coaching staff or parents missed, thus the girls did not bond together and play as a team and didn't succeed.....maybe a well placed question or two to a player who will share with you would begin to identify the challange.

sluggers · 08-27-2008, 03:37 AM

If you think by asking a couple of questions, you can make a bunch of 13 YOA girls to start acting like rational human beings, you are delusional.

You are seeing the natural growth of children into adults. At 13, girls no longer feel they have to keep their old friendships. In fact, many of them drop their old friends and find a whole new set to run around with. Friends get hurt, friends get mad, and then you have that "clique" mentality set in. It can be a mess.

At 13U, the girls have to start playing softball because they like the game, not because they want to be with friends. So, girls will drop out of softball at 14U. If you go to a travel tournament, count the number of 12U teams and then count the number of 18U teams. Where did they girls all go? They quit. There are lots of reasons. Sometimes its ability level, sometimes it is other activities, like theater, choir, soccer, volleyball, swimming, softball, dance, etc.

On top of that, you have a bunch of girls who now are suffering through the ups and downs of being a woman (if you know what I mean). They are wrecks. (I raised 3 girls. I tell my friends that at 13, someone came by and vacuumed out their brains, and they spend the next 5 years growing them back. They finally become human again when they turn 19.)

What the coach has to do is tell the girls that it doesn't matter whether they like each other or not, but they will act "nice" to each other at EVERY softball event, or they will sit the bench. Otherwise, you end with a bunch of miserable coaches, parents and players.

obbay · 08-27-2008, 01:06 PM

Thanks for the replies- both of you are correct on diagnosing the problem-
1) they need to play as a team
2) someone vacuumed out their brains

But they get along maybe too well. most of them were more into socializing this year and didn't display the same level of interest in the game as last year. A LOT more "girlie". So maybe that's it, they are into this more as a diversion than as a commitment.

Last year they played because they liked the game.
Maybe there'll be some changes next year.

DD said that except for her and the 3 new girls, it didn't seem like anyone really cared.

StacieM · 09-14-2008, 10:03 PM

I think it's important at the beginning of any season that you layout exactly what the goal is and what your expecations are (commitment, attitude, effort). Can't just assume the girls know all of that "from last year.".

Also if there was ANY change at all in personnel, one new player, one player not there you'd be surprised at how much that can change the entire dynamic of the team. It's no longer the same team as the year before and what worked for that one may not work for this one. Not to mention the changes in the girls themselves as they grow and mature. That can also completely change things that were perfectly fine just one year ago. That's part of the challenge of coaching!

Could it also be a lower level of confidence in a new age division?

Ah the joys of working with teenage girls!

08-25-2008, 06:53 PM	#1 (permalink)
obbay Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 31	How do you get them back on track? DD's summer team won their division last year at 12U. Moved up to 14U this year and finished below .500. The team didn't seem as focused on playing and handed over more than a couple of wins that should've been theirs (6-1 turned into a 7-6 loss). I was talking to one of the coaches after the season ended and we were noting the difference between us as boys and this team. He was telling me some of the things he would say to try to get them going but seldom did it work. Seldom did they stand at the fence cheering their team on. What gets a team of 13 yo girls motivated to win? Is it just that they maybe don't have the focus to be competitive? Last year may have been a fluke, but they impressed me with their ability to retain control, even when things went wrong. This year had girls missing flyballs followed by stopping, rolling their eyes and groaning before going after the missed ball. The coach screaming very clearly where to make the throw and the fielder choosing to throw it elsewhere. Baserunners running into outs where there was no force play, a catcher (possibly the best I've seen in this age bracket) electing to (over)throw a runner out at first on a bunt rather than tag the girl out who's running right toward her from 3rd. So if these girls all supposedly want to play, how do we get them motivated? It's not my team but it could be. thanks. Last edited by obbay; 08-25-2008 at 06:56 PM.

08-27-2008, 03:37 AM	#3 (permalink)
sluggers Senior Member Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 184	If you think by asking a couple of questions, you can make a bunch of 13 YOA girls to start acting like rational human beings, you are delusional. You are seeing the natural growth of children into adults. At 13, girls no longer feel they have to keep their old friendships. In fact, many of them drop their old friends and find a whole new set to run around with. Friends get hurt, friends get mad, and then you have that "clique" mentality set in. It can be a mess. At 13U, the girls have to start playing softball because they like the game, not because they want to be with friends. So, girls will drop out of softball at 14U. If you go to a travel tournament, count the number of 12U teams and then count the number of 18U teams. Where did they girls all go? They quit. There are lots of reasons. Sometimes its ability level, sometimes it is other activities, like theater, choir, soccer, volleyball, swimming, softball, dance, etc. On top of that, you have a bunch of girls who now are suffering through the ups and downs of being a woman (if you know what I mean). They are wrecks. (I raised 3 girls. I tell my friends that at 13, someone came by and vacuumed out their brains, and they spend the next 5 years growing them back. They finally become human again when they turn 19.) What the coach has to do is tell the girls that it doesn't matter whether they like each other or not, but they will act "nice" to each other at EVERY softball event, or they will sit the bench. Otherwise, you end with a bunch of miserable coaches, parents and players. Last edited by sluggers; 08-27-2008 at 03:39 AM.

09-14-2008, 10:03 PM	#5 (permalink)
StacieM Member Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 97	I think it's important at the beginning of any season that you layout exactly what the goal is and what your expecations are (commitment, attitude, effort). Can't just assume the girls know all of that "from last year.". Also if there was ANY change at all in personnel, one new player, one player not there you'd be surprised at how much that can change the entire dynamic of the team. It's no longer the same team as the year before and what worked for that one may not work for this one. Not to mention the changes in the girls themselves as they grow and mature. That can also completely change things that were perfectly fine just one year ago. That's part of the challenge of coaching! Could it also be a lower level of confidence in a new age division? Ah the joys of working with teenage girls! __________________ Stacie Mahoe Coaching Bootcamp now open! Connect with fellow fastpitch fanatics at Fastpitch World.

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08-26-2008, 07:46 PM	#2 (permalink)
3'sDad Junior Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: Morristown, NJ Posts: 26	Someone wiser than me once said "Boys need to win to be team mates and girls need to be a team mates to win"....sounds to me like there was some unresolved friction between players that the coaching staff or parents missed, thus the girls did not bond together and play as a team and didn't succeed.....maybe a well placed question or two to a player who will share with you would begin to identify the challange.

08-27-2008, 01:06 PM	#4 (permalink)
obbay Member Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 31	Thanks for the replies- both of you are correct on diagnosing the problem- 1) they need to play as a team 2) someone vacuumed out their brains But they get along maybe too well. most of them were more into socializing this year and didn't display the same level of interest in the game as last year. A LOT more "girlie". So maybe that's it, they are into this more as a diversion than as a commitment. Last year they played because they liked the game. Maybe there'll be some changes next year. DD said that except for her and the 3 new girls, it didn't seem like anyone really cared.