Should I be insulted?

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Mar 13, 2010
1,758
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I'll give the scenario and would like comments on how you would react to this.

I've applied for a rep level coach. I've applied as co-coach with another woman and we're quite happy with that arrangement. Both of us have our coaching level 1. I've been coaching since I was 15 (so around 13 years) at a U12 age group. I'm applying for an under 13 team. However I live in a different state to where I grow up. I currently assistant coach on the weekend, and have for the past two years as a result of work committments. I can't be there every Saturday, so I do it with a friend who can.

I did the interview, which barely had any questions. Just going over my coaching history. Today, in front of the girls, it was advised they were all in the squad and that me and the other woman would be assisted by other 'senior coaches' who would be teaching us at the same time. I didn't apply for that. I applied for coach. I don't NEED to be taught how to coach girls of this age. I've been doing it since I was a teenager!

Would anyone else find this insulting? Should I suck it up for the year, try and learn some more things (even though most of the people who I know they will bring down have lower levels than I do) and hope next year I'll be 'trusted' to coach by myself? I'm on the verge of handing in my resignation.
 
May 25, 2010
1,070
0
I strongly disagree with that move by the organizers. Don't be insulted - not worth your time and energy to be - but don't take the job either.
 

sluggers

Super Moderator
Staff member
May 26, 2008
7,132
113
Dallas, Texas
This is going to be a little tough love:

You are laboring under the misconception that a softball organization is about teaching softball to the kids. It isn't. It is about the parents. The parents pay the fees. If parents don't sign the kids up, then that means no fees. No fees means no umpires, no fields, no uniforms, no balls, no teams. So, the organization has to keep the parents happy.

My DD (D1 all conference pitcher, has a double masters in education, worked for four years at an inner city school in Chicago, and has successfully coached volleyball, basketball and track) almost committed suicide after dealing with a softball organization in an affluent suburb for one season.

I applied for coach. I don't NEED to be taught how to coach girls of this age.

Wow...how lucky you are. I've been coaching since I was 15, and I'm pushing 60 now, and I'm still learning.

I can't be there every Saturday, so I do it with a friend who can.

That just isn't good enough. Parents want a coach who will be there every Saturday. If you can't be there every Saturday, you shouldn't coach.

Would anyone else find this insulting?

Yes, of course. But that doesn't mean anything. I'm generally most upset when my wife proves me wrong.

Should I suck it up for the year, try and learn some more things (even though most of the people who I know they will bring down have lower levels than I do) and hope next year I'll be 'trusted' to coach by myself?

You either like to coach or you don't. This is the kind of stuff you have to learn to put up with. It sucks...but that is the way it is.
 
Last edited:
Oct 11, 2010
8,337
113
Chicago, IL
A little bit, it was poorly handled by the League. Sometimes it can be hard to volunteer your time, expertise, emotions, etc.

I would probably walk away, I am OK with the concept but the lack of communication is troubling to me.

If the League wanted to give me a mentor I am all for it, another adult I can use at practice.

1 and only 1 person is in charge of a Team. Your sharing arrangement is OK but there has to be 1 person in charge, it is impossible to share managing a team.
 

sru

Jun 20, 2008
125
0
In my neck of the woods, you won't get a rep team with only a level 1. It doesn't matter how long you've been coaching for.

I am sure they are looking at the situation from the parents point of view, who are paying the bill. 13U rep team, two level 1 coaches and one is part time. No offense, but I wouldn't be happy if my kid played on a rep team with that coaching arrangement.
 
Mar 13, 2010
1,758
48
Wow...how lucky you are. I've been coaching since I was 15, and I'm pushing 60 now, and I'm still learning.

I'm not saying I don't have anything to learn. I have a lot to learn. Everyone does. But the way it was presented was that they were teaching me as a brand new coach.

That just isn't good enough. Parents want a coach who will be there every Saturday. If you can't be there every Saturday, you shouldn't coach.

My parents seem fine with it. Every parent is informed of it at the start of the season, so they are fully aware. Just to be clear, that is my club team, not my rep team. (who don't play on Saturday's)

In my neck of the woods, you won't get a rep team with only a level 1. It doesn't matter how long you've been coaching for.

I've just completed my level 2 two weeks ago. This is also WA. The rep coaches of the two U 15 teams have no levels. (which in my home state you wouldn't even get a trainee coach for a rep team without a level 1)

I am sure they are looking at the situation from the parents point of view, who are paying the bill. 13U rep team, two level 1 coaches and one is part time. No offense, but I wouldn't be happy if my kid played on a rep team with that coaching arrangement.

I wasn't clear in my original posting, but for the rep team, I am not part time. That's my club team. The parents also pay $30 for the rep team. Their fees are to their clubs (none of the kids from my club went, all brand new players) not to the rep team.

What is a rep team? Not a term we use here.

From what I can gather, our rep teams are equivilant to your travel teams in skill level. They don't play as much though and it's not their sole team.

Did you fill out an complete application and provide references, etc., and were they checked? Then I might be insulted.

Yes, but no references. Softball isn't like that over here. It's not as serious. (outsides the politics)
 
Jul 26, 2010
3,567
0
It's pretty much your job as coach to never be insulted no matter what. If you're an emotional or egotistical kind of guy/gal, then coaching kids isn't for you. You need to be the kind of person who is secure enough with himself/herself that you do not require acceptance or praise from anyone other then yourself and your own performance, because these are exactly the kinds of qualities you are supposed to be teaching to the kids, along with softball skills.

Insecure emotional hotheads need not apply.

Yes, the league could have communicated better. But guess what, they're volunteers to, they're humans, and they are going to make mistakes. Explain to them your initial confusion and kindly suggest (or rather make it sound like they suggested) communicating this kind of thing better moving forward and offer suggestions as to how that communication might be handled. Leave the insults and being insulted for TV/Movies, real people aren't bothered by that nonsense.

-W
 

Ken Krause

Administrator
Admin
May 7, 2008
3,911
113
Mundelein, IL
No telling what might have motivated it. Perhaps they had a problem in a previous year and are just trying to make sure they're covered. The organization I used to be a part of had the occasional problem with coaches we brought in. They had experience but didn't really get what the organization was all about. Not saying that's you, but if they don't already know you well they may not know whether you could handle it on your own.

In my opinion organizations are often way too willing to just hand over a team to a coach and be done with it. That's where problems begin. A program will take a player who just finished her college career and hand her a team, assuming that because she played she can coach. She might know the Xs and Os, but that's the easy part. As was said previously, it's handling the parents (and the drama that often comes with girls) that offers the real challenge. That's probably more of what their concern is.

Rather than stewing about it, politely ask them why they feel the need to assign someone. You may be surprised by the answer. And if it's not necessary, they may change their minds.
 
Oct 19, 2009
1,827
0
When I started of coaching in rec-league there were kids who's parents made them play and they didn’t want to be there. Parents who never played ball, but thought they were better coaches that the coaches. Some that drooped their kids off and used practice and games as a babysitting service. Through the years I’ve been cussed, belittled and talked down too. In among all this was a few kids that really wanted to play and learn even thought they were sometimes in the minority. They were the reason I hung in there, not for my ego, the trophies or anything else it was for the kids that wanted to play and get better at softball. I was placed as assistant coach to a preacher who did not have a clue about ball one time.

I hung in there for the kids, because I felt I could help them. Was I insulted? Yes many times.
 
Nov 29, 2009
2,975
83
Lozza,

I don't think you should be insulted. I really don't think it has anything to do with your coaching abilities, more with you being able to be there for everything given your own admitted work situation. While the guy who is the coach may or may not be better than you they must feel he can be there for all of the team functions. When you're in charge of several different teams with all the players and parents your perspective changes greatly. Even though the word choice may have been poor do you really believe it was meant to be an insult?

I think if your work situation changes they would have no problem giving you a team on your own.
 

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