advice regarding a tricky parent situation

The boyfriend, however, became outraged and verbally abusive toward the Field Ump. Not sure what the trigger was -- it didn't even involve "his" kid. One of my AC's tried to calm him down and he turned on the AC -- telling him he wouldn't be disrespected and challenging him to a fight. He continued to chirp through the rest of the game, which we ended up losing.

As I'm doing my postgame conference with the umps, the fire was reignited. He became loudly and aggressively belligerent with my coaches and the umpires and was yelling "FU" and "SMD" in front of the players and families. I asked that the umpire eject him, which he did. The other team complained to the league (which I totally understand). The UIC had to come over and enforce the ejection.

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From what you're describing here it sounds like the guy has a drug or alcohol problem. My sister was married to a guy with a coke problem. It sounds like he could have been at your game. To this day he still acts that way between highs.

Your Board needs to grow a pair. One or two members need to be there with you when the warning is given about his behavior. Especially, with his threatening to fight your AC. That, IMO, threatened behavior can be enough to warrant being banned from the league facilities. It sounds like the Board wants to give him one more chance. I really doubt it will make a difference given his history of being "vocal," and not in a good way, in the past.

If he did something like that at the player's school I can envision them calling the police to have him removed. Who knows? The police may have knowledge of him already. It really sounds like this guy never got his official "Grown Ups" card.

Your season should be nearing its conclusion. Hopefully, you'll be done with him soon. The unfortunate thing for the girl is no coach is going to take her on their team next year due to the actions of the mom's boyfriend. All-stars... She can forget about that.

The owner of the fields (probably the park district or the city) is the only one who can actually "ban" someone from coming onto the property. The league doesn't have any authority to stop people from watching a game.

IMHO, you would ask the guy and the mother to discuss the matter. I would have an AC with you...I would not do it alone. Then, tell the guy that he shouldn't come to anymore games.

As to the kid's home life--there is really nothing you can do unless you want to stop coaching the team, quit your job and become a social worker. These situations are more complex than you imagine. If the kid complains of physical abuse, then you report it. But, beyond that..."Not your monkeys, not your circus."

This is all really good advice, and I appreciate it. Answers to some of the questions above:

He was drinking, but I don't have a sense of how impaired he was.
I expect (and hope) that the player will stay on with us (she's in her third year in our program)

We play in a house league at a complex owned by an athletic association, so they do actually have the authority to ban someone (they just chose not to).
Our program's leadership will ban him. I hate to use the kids like pawns, but I will keep them off the field if necessary.

Call CPS in your county and tell them you are concerned about possible abuse and tell them about the incident. They will probably open up a case file even if they tell you there is nothing they can do and they assess the case as unfounded. They might already have an open case on this family.

I have been following this and I wish you luck.

How the ump needs to get involved amuses me.

Like any big leaque we have our share of issues too.

Bryce said:

This is all really good advice, and I appreciate it. Answers to some of the questions above:

He was drinking, but I don't have a sense of how impaired he was.
I expect (and hope) that the player will stay on with us (she's in her third year in our program)

We play in a house league at a complex owned by an athletic association, so they do actually have the authority to ban someone (they just chose not to).
Our program's leadership will ban him. I hate to use the kids like pawns, but I will keep them off the field if necessary.

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What he did is also pretty much the definition of disorderly conduct in many states. Depending on the jurisdiction, he could be cited or arrested. I would call the police if he does it again.

The term he used "won't be disrespected." That is a prison term. Find out his name and run a background check. I don't know if that will keep him from the field, but at least you would know if he had a record.

Bryce,

Did anyone have a meeting with the mom's boyfriend? I was wondering what the outcome was.

A lot of times depends on the city, if he is acting crazy at the game just call the cops. If they arrive and he has alcohol on his breath and is yelling and screaming at a kids ball game they will usually make him leave but not drive away. The cops where we played basically had zero tolerance for guys like this.

we're 10 days removed from the event now and I haven't seen him since.

My decision is to let it lie but to confront the BF the next time he comes back - quietly and directly - this season, next season, or whenever. I'll tell him that his behavior was totally out of bounds and that I have no tolerance for any abuse of umpires, players, coaches, other parents -- or really anything. If I hear anything objectionable I'll stop the game until he leaves.