12U player-move on or be patient?

Where does a hardworking 12U student athlete go after this?

My DD made a club (Pony Tournament) team which coach said she would keep a small roster (11-12) so that all the girls would play and develope. After all payments were in, the coach increased the roster to 14 players. Disappointed with the lack of play time I asked if my DD would be allowed to play on other teams the days that she wasn’t needed. The answer was basically no. She would have to make every tournament even if it was mostly to watch (sub).

I am having a hard time keeping my DD on this team. Not only is the coaching terrible (mostly losses) plus coache’s daughters & friends on the team. We are away every weekend and I feel that my daughter would learn more watching college softball at this point and training seperately.

Please advice.

Is your DD good enough to be in the top 9?
Does she deserve more time than she is getting? Sometimes it's hard to be honest with yourself when it's your kid. Most of us feel that way.
The key is; does your DD deserve more time due to her skills.
If the answer is yes and you think these coaches are unable or unwilling to coach your kid up then it may be time to leave.
I've been in both positions. My DD is legit.. she's a very good pitcher and plays every inning either in the circle or her secondary position. I also have a son who is a great kid and works harder than DD but he's the 10th or 11th best kid on his travel team. He sits a lot and watches. If I thought he wasn't getting a fair deal I would move him but for now he stays, until he develops the skills that I feel warrant him more playing time.

The old bait and switch. Been there, it blows. We left and I'm very glad we did. We got no money back and it was still worth it.

the first rule of team hop club is..


if you post to see if it is time to leave....it is.

softball4life04 said:

Where does a hardworking 12U student athlete go after this?

My DD made a club (Pony Tournament) team which coach said she would keep a small roster (11-12) so that all the girls would play and develope. After all payments were in, the coach increased the roster to 14 players. Disappointed with the lack of play time I asked if my DD would be allowed to play on other teams the days that she wasn’t needed. The answer was basically no. She would have to make every tournament even if it was mostly to watch (sub).

I am having a hard time keeping my DD on this team. Not only is the coaching terrible (mostly losses) plus coache’s daughters & friends on the team. We are away every weekend and I feel that my daughter would learn more watching college softball at this point and training seperately.

Please advice.

Click to expand...

First, she is an 'athlete' for the purposes of this discussion. Student-athlete is a made up term from the NCAA which they use so they can make $$$$$ on the back of kids by claiming they are 'amateurs'

While your post didn't quite qualify for the JJSqueeze standard for 'Should I leave' posts, it felt like it easily could:

The JJSqueeze Standard for Should I Leave Posts:
"Any time a "should I leave" post reaches 500 words the answer is you need to leave, if for no other reason then to find out if the crazy follows you or gets left behind."


The advice on this forum is almost always the same. Your DD should be playing on a team where she is in the top 9 with good coaching. Games and playing time is the payout and reward for practices and working hard. If she isn't getting this - and from your point of view she isn't - then move on. Note: Unless told otherwise, this is a sunk cost and you chalk it up to experience. No asking for money back unless there is a policy you were told about. Also you do it quick and sharp. Don't burn bridges. Don't get into long discussions about why. Once you have decided to move on, just do it.

Thanks for your truthful advice. I am always careful to not see things through mommy eyes. Even if she is in the bottom five, the bench time should be shared between the five. Otherwise how does a coach in good conscience take parent's money and sit the kids while denying them the opportunity to go play on other teams when they are not needed on the club team? People like this should not be coaching in my opinion.

Excellent advice. Lesson learned, I need to move on "quietly." It's too small of a circuit to set an example of this coach. His actions expose him everyday as he has lost half a team in six months. I'm sure the new players are already regretting the move. Thank you for taking the time to respond.

softball4life04 said:

I am having a hard time keeping my DD on this team. Not only is the coaching terrible (mostly losses) plus coache’s daughters & friends on the team. We are away every weekend and I feel that my daughter would learn more watching college softball at this point and training seperately.

Click to expand...

You should not always equate losses to terrible coaching. Good teams should strive to play great teams in order to become great themselves, and great players are fueled to improve when they lose. Teams and players can become complacent when they win all the time.

For the daddyball issues, all I can suggest is finding another team where your DD will be one of the top 9 players and will see regular playing time. When you make the switch you can ask for a portion of your team fees back, but do not be surprised if your request is denied. The beauty of TB is that parents and players have choices....HS, not so much.

Our coach is pretty awesome and we lose all the time. He coached his own daughter from 10U til college. He has so much knowledge and experience. In the fall the team won 7% of their games (this was before we joined). I think the last four tournaments we've lost half. Pretty huge improvement. He refuses to pick up players and bench his own; he bats everyone (though he does use subs, and the weaker hitters hit less since they alternate). Some of the things he's teaching them seems very advanced for 9 year olds, like field positioning based on the batter (size, how she hit before if you know, rightie or lefty etc) and other mental aspects of the game. Anyway. Just wanted to agree with JAD re: wins and losses. Our fall team won a good bit more than 7% and the coach was terrible.

Three people have mentioned being one of the top nine on a team as a route to playing time. With all due respect to those that posted, here is some other food for thought.

How much playing time are you looking for? If you are ok with playing around half of the time (+/-) , then being in the top nine is a pretty decent plan.

If you want to find a team where your DD is likely to play a lot, you should be searching for a team where she is in the top five or six. I apologize for the Mr. Obvious numbers that follows, and for the generalizations as well, but consider the numbers even though they don't apply to 100% of teams, coaches, situations etc. Grab the content and then adjust the numbers to suit your observations.

For discussion's sake, lets say that the average roster size is twelve. That means nine on the field and three on the bench, yes?

When it comes time to sub in the 4th inning or so to get the bench players some PT, or their share, it is somewhat rare that a coach would sub in #10, 11, and 12 for the best three players on the field. Usually-but-not-always, the subs are going in for the lower rungs. When three subs (10, 11, and 12) go in, it usually costs 7,8, and 9 playing time. Now, if 10, 11, and 12 are getting about half of the innings and at-bats of the 'core' top players, (perhaps playing the last 3 innings or so when they sub in?) then the math says that 7,8, and 9 are at about half-time as well. Yes, it is regular playing time, but it is probably somewhere around half +/- of the available PT.

If you are ok with DD playing around half of the time, being in the top nine makes sense. It actually doesn't matter too much if you are the 9, the 12, or the 7 as playing time is likely fairly similar. If you want more PT, then avoid being in the bottom third of the top nine if the roster carries twelve.

Ok, one last wrinkle worth noting, if you are still reading. When it comes time to sub in the three bench players, the following players are most likely to remain on the field:

1. The coach's DD and
2. The best five players on the team.

Be one of the top 5, preferably the 5.


That's it. Your mileage may vary, yaddayaddayadda.

VW