Liar Liar

I've had 8 practices for the upcoming summer season, counting today. Of these 8, I have a pair of sisters (call them S who is 17 and C who is 14) who have showed up 3 (C) and 2 (S) times. They come from a northern community about 15 minutes away, and S plays varsity softball (so generally if S doesn't come, C doesn't come because of transportation).

Today's practice - these two were not in attendance. S was out of town and told me ahead of time. C messaged our group text at 12pm (practice was 11am-1pm) saying she was "helping her grandma move". I explained I wanted earlier knowledge if something like this was happening, because 2 unexcused absences is a 1-game benching for me (and I'm rather lenient with excuses for the most part). A little birdie (one of my parents whose daughters play for me) texted me saying that the "moving grandmother" line was a lie, that she was at home on Snapchat the entire time. The parent stated his daughter has screenshots with the timestamps. (for the record, he's not trying to be a snitch or for his girls - he legitimately says where the bear squats in the woods 100%.)

Here is my thoughts about my next practice - should she attend (which she should), I plan to pull her aside privately and talk to her about the matter. If she fesses up and admits to the lying, she will have 2 options: a.) Apologize to the ENTIRE team for what she has done, rejoin practice and earn her playing time back, or b.) Be dismissed from the team. My team last year walked all over me, and I want to set a precedent that this type of behavior will NOT be tolerated.

What are the thoughts of the board? Too harsh? Too light? Apologies for the long thread.

IMHO you are on track, there must be consequences for actions detrimental to the team. However, if you dismiss the player you need to be ready for her sister to leave also. Can your team move forward losing two players?

Right now, I have 13 girls total. Her sister would (likely) be my starting SS (like she was last year) and the sister (C in this case) was very iffy as to where she'd play. She hasn't been to enough practices for me to really evaluate her, truthfully. My asst. coach sent me her thoughts about it - basically saying we need to talk to her and ask her if she feels her actions are really helping her teammates out and saying that if she's making this commitment, that she needs to see it through and how it looks bad if she's lying to everyone about the matter when we live in a VERY small community where everyone knows everyone's business. Then we can evaluate things from there, plus how she'll need to earn her playing time back as a consequence for her actions.

I would be very blunt with her and tell her you know she lied and ask her if she wants to be on the team or not. If she says yes, then tell her what she needs to do if she wants to stay on the team.

To me, I think it is harsh.

You said the team walked all over you last year...which is really surprising since you make the lineups. If you are unwilling to bench your best player(s), it doesn't matter what you do.

PT should be dependent upon performance at practice and during games. If she can perform without attending practices, then more power to her. If she can't, then you put her on the bench.

If she can skip practices

To me, I think it is harsh.

You said the team walked all over you last year...which is really surprising since you make the lineups. If you are unwilling to bench your best player(s), it doesn't matter what you do.

PT should be dependent upon performance at practice and during games. If she can perform without attending practices, then more power to her. If she can't, then you put her on the bench.

If she can skip practices

sluggers said:

If you are unwilling to bench your best player(s), it doesn't matter what you do. PT should be dependent upon performance at practice and during games. If she can perform without attending practices, then more power to her.

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I didn't have enough in my last season to bench anyone. If anyone got benched, I didn't have a lineup TO make. This year I DO have enough thankfully. And I do not believe it is fair to allow her/them playing time if they cannot make the simple commitment to be at practice when everyone else apparently can. Would there be the same response if this were a HS program? Absolutely not. You don't play if you're not at practice. If you cannot be trusted to make practice, you cannot be trusted to be put on a lineup card, regardless of your talent level.

This player sounds too immature to be playing on your team of older players. Skill and talent aren't enough, there is a certain emotional maturity that is necessary when playing up. That said, in this age group, usually the captains on the team address these issues. They are usually tougher on each other than you will be. She needs to learn to respect her teammates, and that will only come through them. It's hard for you as an adult to enforce that on an immature 14 year old.

What kind of parents do these girls have? Doesn't excuse the deception, but informs the dynamic. If S is really out of town, does C have a ride? Is she trying to cover up for parents who won't get her to practice. Maybe they don't hold her accountable. Lots of maybes. Ask yourself what will help the girl. Quiet conversation with her? Benching? Additional expectations? Help with transportation?

Seems like there is more to think through here.

I would probably go find two new players and wish the sisters the best of luck in the future. It sounds as though playing softball for you is low on their list of priorities. Get the idea that if they have nothing going on and the spirit moves them, they will show up. I would put my energy into players with a higher level of commitment.