Liar Liar

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Oct 11, 2010
8,337
113
Chicago, IL
S is playing HS ball, I would not expect her at practice.

It sounds like C needs a ride, see if you can set that up to remove one of her excuses.
 
Jun 11, 2012
741
63
S is playing HS ball, I would not expect her at practice.

It sounds like C needs a ride, see if you can set that up to remove one of her excuses.

Some HS coaches do not allow players to play or practice with travel teams during the HS season so I agree with this.

As for C, I wouldn't bring up that another parent said she wasn't doing what she said she was. I'd pull her aside and have a private chat about her dedication to the teams and then go from there. Maybe it's a ride situation, maybe it's the parents not driving her. Maybe the parents were moving the grandma and couldn't get her there. You can't call her out as a liar without involving the parent (or child) who told you.
 
Sep 29, 2014
2,421
113
Here is the deal 14 yr olds don't drive, so what that means is either her parents won't take her (they were planning on big sis driving her to practices) or her parents are willing but she is not telling parents when practices are (I would assume you email/group text parents as well as kids).

Other BIG warning in situations like this is to always, always get the facts first and make sure you have all the facts before you do anything, I would not only talk to her but also to her parents, they are the ones paying and the ones having to drive.
 
Jun 1, 2015
500
43
All of these are very valid points and I'm glad it's fostered a healthy discussion. I've known the parent who contacted me originally for a long while - he is a highly-reliable individual and his daughters are VERY trustworthy (the daughter told her father about the matter only because she thought it was "cheesy" she would skip practice to text and use such an excuse, and not to be a snitch). I would never put this parent/child in question - that is confidentiality that I would never break, especially because his 2 daughters that play for me are true athletes.

I think the plan my assistants and I have come up with is to pull her aside either after or before practice on Wednesday and chat with her about her responsibilities to the team and whether she is committed to participating - that we understand some things DO come up, but as a member of our team we need strong commitment and dedication from ALL 13 of our players, and that she may need to evaluate how her not being there hurts the rest of her teammates - she can't be judged for a bat, a glove, etc, and it is costing her playing time when the season starts at the end of June. For transportation, 2 of my girls play for the same HS team (one being S), so often after a game the 3 show up about the same time (S and C, and the other player separately). Said other player has offered to bring C down whenever needed. I send group texts and we have a group FB message with all parents/athletes where practice times are given before each practice. I've offered to bring any player to/from practice whenever needed, so have my assistants.

I try to (pun intended) have my bases covered. Given that this team (the parents) do not have to pay for anything aside from their uniforms, that also hinders things a bit further (no pay = no true attachment aside from loyalty, which I have from a solid 10-11 of my players I feel).
 
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Jun 1, 2015
500
43
What kind of parents do these girls have? Doesn't excuse the deception, but informs the dynamic. If S is really out of town, does C have a ride? Is she trying to cover up for parents who won't get her to practice. Maybe they don't hold her accountable. Lots of maybes. Ask yourself what will help the girl. Quiet conversation with her? Benching? Additional expectations? Help with transportation?

Seems like there is more to think through here.

Ironically enough, C and S's mother is the JV Softball coach at the school where they attend. Draw your own conclusions from here.
 
May 16, 2016
946
93
Here is the deal 14 yr olds don't drive, so what that means is either her parents won't take her

This ^^^^^^. This is a parent issue, not a player issue.

That you are even contemplating dismissing this girl from the team based on what a parent told you, their daughter told them, that they read on snapchat is beyond ridiculous. Do you look for ways to create drama on your teams? If she doesn't show to practice, bench her, Speak with parents on why she is riding bench that game. No drama... just a simple, you don't practice, you don't play ahead of girls who did.

Although, you've set-up a double standard by allowing the HS Varsity player to miss practice because she has a "better excuse"...
 
Jun 1, 2015
500
43
I don't think it's "creating drama" when a.) Many of my girls that show up to practice have the same opinion on the matter simply saying it in generality ("Why would you miss practice for ______?"), b.) a parent with a valid comment expresses concern about the health of my team when he has 2 girls playing on it while another girl assumes she'll play simply due to numbers or c.) When there are 2 other players/parents from her community who have expressed an ability to bring her to practice whenever needed and she does not take them up on it. If you're mature enough to commit to playing for a team, you should be mature enough to assure you have a way to get to team commitments. The problem is generally (not always) if her sister misses practice due to a game, then SHE misses practice by default. This screws me even more losing 2 girls, 1 by association.
 
Dec 12, 2012
1,668
0
On the bucket
While this may be a situation where the parents fail to push C to satisfy her commitments, that is as far as it goes. If C were really wanting to make practices, you would know it by now.

Missing the number she has at this early point in the season is a great indicator that she can not be relied upon for the team. It likely won't get better and even if C convinces you to keep her on the team, this type of pattern shows she will let the team down at a more important time than just practices. You are better off finding two replacement players who you can count on.
 
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May 16, 2016
946
93
I don't think it's "creating drama" when a.) Many of my girls that show up to practice have the same opinion on the matter simply saying it in generality ("Why would you miss practice for ______?"), b.) a parent with a valid comment expresses concern about the health of my team when he has 2 girls playing on it while another girl assumes she'll play simply due to numbers or c.) When there are 2 other players/parents from her community who have expressed an ability to bring her to practice whenever needed and she does not take them up on it. If you're mature enough to commit to playing for a team, you should be mature enough to assure you have a way to get to team commitments. The problem is generally (not always) if her sister misses practice due to a game, then SHE misses practice by default. This screws me even more losing 2 girls, 1 by association.

I hear a lot of rationalization...

If other parents/players have expressed an "ability" to transport this girl to/from practice, then get on the phone and put them together. Expecting a 14 year old to coordinate their own transportation is not really a realistic expectation on your part. Once a routine is established, this should run like clockwork.

My 11 yo is "mature" enough to commit to playing for a team, but I would not expect her to figure out how to get to/from practice everyday. Stop rationalizing... If there are transportation issues, help the 14 yo resolve them.
 
Sep 29, 2014
2,421
113
as previously mentioned sounds like parents plan is as long as older girl that presumably drives is going to practice she can take lil sis or if they both have to go its worth parents time but not if it is only one girl.

Talk to the parents and find out if they are committed or not...it does not do any good for a 14 yr old girl who lives 15 minutes from practice to be committed if she can't get there. Now if you have a parent on the team that lives close and volunteers to take the girl as long as she lets them know then it becomes the girls responsibility to let other parents know she will be going to practice and please pick me up on the way.

I think it is OK for you to excuse certain activities but they need to let you know ahead of time and you need to let them know ahead of time whether or not it is excused.
 
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