Is being a coaches daughter hurt her brand with coaches and scouts?

I have seen in various places that it is strongly advised against to coach a team with your daughter on it. I wonder if it will hurt her college ball hopes and aspirations? I am stuck between limited and mostly not good options of teams and coaches in that regard. She is extremely talented and much as I love coaching her, I worry about all the natural problems that might incur and no I don't play Daddy ball(though if I did probably would say same thing...so just please accept for the moment that I don't and am more guilty of being tougher on her then gifting her anything)
So can it be done with out adverse effect in building her brand so to speak with college coaches and scouts? If so, what can be done to help that end? If not, why?

That's an interesting question - my question is, where do all the coaches come from if nobody coaches his/her own kid? Around here a coach with no daughter on the team is a major minority. I mean, it's not like travel ball coach is a highly paid gig. I know there are probably some high level orgs that pay their coaches but I don't think there are many...?

I would guess that if she's good, they don't care who has coached her.

Justmoi said:

I have seen in various places that it is strongly advised against to coach a team with your daughter on it. I wonder if it will hurt her college ball hopes and aspirations? I am stuck between limited and mostly not good options of teams and coaches in that regard. She is extremely talented and much as I love coaching her, I worry about all the natural problems that might incur and no I don't play Daddy ball(though if I did probably would say same thing...so just please accept for the moment that I don't and am more guilty of being tougher on her then gifting her anything)
So can it be done with out adverse effect in building her brand so to speak with college coaches and scouts? If so, what can be done to help that end? If not, why?

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Being around the travel scene for a long time, about 75% of the parent-coaches and coaches-kids that I've seen could not keep the distinction between being a coach and player versus a parent and child. The coach-player relationship eventually broke down. If you and your daughter are in the 25% that can maintain the separation you'll be okay.

Justmoi said:

I have seen in various places that it is strongly advised against to coach a team with your daughter on it.

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I've never heard anyone strongly advise against coaching a daughter per se. I've just heard it said (and agree) that there often becomes a point at which it becomes better to step away and let someone else coach her.

Parents are often the best coach available for the job, and their kid benefits greatly from it. (And sometimes not.) I think that's the more important assessment to be made. Are you the best coach for th job and for your DD? I wouldn't think the mere fact that a prospect is coached by her father matters to a college coach.

I wonder if it will hurt her college ball hopes and aspirations?

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It won't hurt her recruitment, her ability to be on a team, and her ability to sit and watch other kids play softball. What it does affect is her ability to *PLAY* college softball.

Let me guess how you are "fair"...you give your DD X number of innings at every tournament. Your DD can't earn more playing time, and she can't lose playing time. She is always out there X innings and she sits the bench Y innings. That is fair.

My DD, Cannonball's DD, Sparky's DD...they all played in college. The remarkable thing wasn't that they got scholarships. (Getting a scholarship is pretty easy...shop around enough, do the work and you'll find a place for your DD.) The remarkable thing is they played. The hard part is getting on the field and playing...and that is something that has to be done by your DD completely without you.

College sports isn't fair...it is about performance on the field. And, to get on the field, your DD has to out perform everyone in practice.

In college, your DD has to beat out her teammates and prove that she is better than her competition. She has to beat out other players in practice in order to get on the field. If she doesn't, she'll never get on the field.

If she does get on the field, she has to deliver...if she doesn't, she is on the bench. And, she may never get another chance.

With a Daddy as a coach, you might develop your DD into an excellent player, but you haven't taught her how to impress a coach in practice or on the field.

Look at the threads about HS ball, and all the parents whining about HS ball. HS is the first time some kids have ever had to earn playing time, and the parents can't handle it.

You hear a litany of complaints: "The coach is an idiot. The coach is biased. Her teammates aren't nice to her." The complaints could all be true...but, if your DD wants to play, she has to find a way to navigate through the obstacles and get on the field.

It is not any different in college. A kid has to learn how to deal with all of those issues and find a way to get on the softball field.

Unfortunately, Daddy coaches don't let their kids deal with these issues. The amount of playing time is set in stone.

I think kids coached under parents for to many years will find it difficult to be coach-able at an older age. As much as a parent will be "harder on their own kid over all the others" just doesn't matter. One of the things I love to hear about my own kid is that she is coachable. Not sure if Daddy ball and Mama ball kids will hear the same later when parents aren't in the dugouts.

Probably depends on the kid. My older DD can't be coached by my DH. She has to hear it from an unrelated adult, whatever "it" is. I think her coach would call her highly coachable; with her dad she is NOT. But my younger one is pretty coachable by anyone, including DH. She does get annoyed with him faster than other people though.

It's interesting to me, the lack of objectivity you often see in coaching. For example, coach's daughter has a 150 batting average, 2nd lowest on the team. She hits lead off every game, because she wants to. Another player is super fast, has a killer bunt, a 375 batting average, and bats 6th or 7th. Or, switch it, where dad is too hard on his daughter, does not make her lead off even though she should be to avoid the appearance of daddy ball, which actually hurts the team. If there were some parallel universe where I wanted to coach a team, I'd make decisions based on performance, as supported by my lovely iScore stats, and attitude/effort. Whether a child was related to me, or I was friends with her mom, or she's my DD's BFF would not matter. And if any parent had issues with positions or playing time I could show them the clear line between his kid's performance and my decisions. And offer input on what said child could do to earn X position or more playing time, or whatever. I like the idea of my own child knowing that her effort (or lack thereof) matters. If she knows she will either never or always start because she's my kid, there is no motivation for her. Is this just naive? Is there a logical reason why coaches so often don't do this or is it just emotional? I have definitely known some coach's kids who seemed to run things in the household. Better not move her from her favored position or she'll pout for a week & made daddy's life miserable, that kind of thing. I can't imagine that flying in my house. Suck it up, kid.

grcsftbll said:

That's an interesting question - my question is, where do all the coaches come from if nobody coaches his/her own kid? Around here a coach with no daughter on the team is a major minority. I mean, it's not like travel ball coach is a highly paid gig. I know there are probably some high level orgs that pay their coaches but I don't think there are many...?

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Coaches with daughters on the team is pretty much the norm through 14U. 16U and 18U there are some coaches who do it "for the love of the game" or a small stipend. My hat is off to coaches who do it without a DD involved, because it is a HUGE time commitment.

I stepped away from coaching my DD this past year when she changed travel ball teams. I was an AC coach with another dad and we had an arrangement that we coached each other's daughters as much as possible. Wanted to make sure that we didn't want to be accused of favoritism and didn't want to be too hard on our respective daughters, which as we know can happen very often when we coach our daughters.