A coaching conundrum, on a serious note

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Dec 10, 2015
845
63
Chautauqua County
I was trying to be as respectful as possible with this because I know it's very difficult so, please, no offense was intended. But I stand by my "absurd' comment. When I came onboard this year for the HS mod team, after 2 practices, I was informed that I had to "ease up" and "you have to baby them, you know, and keep the numbers up." I spoke with both of my ACs and we agreed, it wasn't happening. If the HS didn't like it, they could find other coaches. Bottom line, after daily practices and steady (key word here) coaching, we have a good cohesive team with parent and school support. Maybe the best way to put it, for me at least, is this - from the time we step on the field to the time we leave it, practices or games, I am not their friend nor do I try to be. I am their coach and I will do what I think is best for them and the team. I explain that to my players as the situations call for and then do my best.
 
Jul 10, 2014
1,283
0
C-bus Ohio
I was trying to be as respectful as possible with this because I know it's very difficult so, please, no offense was intended. But I stand by my "absurd' comment. When I came onboard this year for the HS mod team, after 2 practices, I was informed that I had to "ease up" and "you have to baby them, you know, and keep the numbers up." I spoke with both of my ACs and we agreed, it wasn't happening. If the HS didn't like it, they could find other coaches. Bottom line, after daily practices and steady (key word here) coaching, we have a good cohesive team with parent and school support. Maybe the best way to put it, for me at least, is this - from the time we step on the field to the time we leave it, practices or games, I am not their friend nor do I try to be. I am their coach and I will do what I think is best for them and the team. I explain that to my players as the situations call for and then do my best.

When you're dealing with kids ranging from 15-18, that might work fine. You have the advantage of increased maturity and increased autonomy, plus you have the older, more experienced kids to act as role models for the younger ones. When you have only 12- and 13-year-olds, far less autonomy, and no older role models, it's a little different.

As for getting the AC's on board, when I get one (two must be an incredible luxury) I'll work on that.

Like I said, I know where I screwed up, and I feel that I've fixed that mostly, but I will not be the one who absolves the perpetrators of their responsibilities to behave properly. It's a shared burden.
 
Dec 10, 2015
845
63
Chautauqua County
Like I said, I know where I screwed up, and I feel that I've fixed that mostly, but I will not be the one who absolves the perpetrators of their responsibilities to behave properly. It's a shared burden.
First off, I have coached TBall, 10U, 12U, 16U, TB, and now 7,8,9 modified. My core philosophy doesn't change but my coaching reflects player age and ability.
Second, we all screw up. My girls know my mantras - get over it and get better; get better or get beat again.
Third, exactly who is the perpetrator and who is responsible? You may think it's the parents. I don't. It's the person who is causing the trouble who is both perpetrator and responsible and only her. That's the point that needs to be made, to her and the rest of the team. I am happy to speak with parents before and after games but during a practice or game, players are responsible for themselves and to their team mates. Players and parents can buy into this or find another team. Happily, I have only had 1 or 2 parents who don't get it. I let one girl finish the season because she started showing some improvement, despite her parents. In the other case, I asked her mother to leave the field, this during a playoff game. She ended up going and taking her daughter with her.
As for ACs, I work hard to get them because they are essential for team success. Even if they only take fielding or BP, they free me up. They also serve as a nice counter balance to me. What they don't know about softball, I teach them. What they know about softball that I don't, they teach me. We all teach the players.
I believe you are a good person and a good coach. I'm not trying to preach or be negative, just share some of my experiences.
 

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