17yr. Old wants to return after having baby

grcsftbll said:

If you were the baseball coach and the father of the baby played, would you have kicked him off the team for getting a girl a pregnant? I highly doubt it. It's ridiculous to me that you think turning her into a pariah is somehow the moral or ethical thing to do. She had a baby, she didn't murder anyone.

Click to expand...

You win the internet! awesome response!

Delantex said:

We have a 17yr. wanting to return to our 18u select team. She just had a baby, and even though she is/was a D1 prospect, we don't believe she fits into the ethical and moral standards we try to uphold. What would you do in this situation?

Click to expand...

No nursing allowed in the dugout, I take it.

Quality troll intro, but troll nonetheless. At least it provided a worthwhile discussion.

sluggers said:

There is a great movie about girl's sports called "Heart of the Game". It is a must see for people interested in youth athletics.

A girl, Danellia Russell, was a star basketball players in HS. She got pregnant her junior year. She dropped out, had the baby, and came back her senior year to play basketball. The Washington State HS athletic association said she couldn't play. The team and the coach supported her efforts to play. She sued, and the ban was lifted. (The reason: It was sex discrimination. There was no ban against boys who fathered children...only the girls were banned.) She led the team to a State Championship.

Danellia went to college, played some semi-pro basketball, and is now a head coach at a juco. By all measures, she is a success.

Click to expand...

Agree completely that it was a great documentary. The thing that stood out to me was that she was a highly recruited prospect prior to the pregnancy. After having her baby, even though she lead her team to a state championship, all offers disappeared. The movie ended with her accepting a scholarship to play in Canada, but she soon quit school and returned home. I hadn't heard what happened after that. I'm glad things turned around for her.

Unfortunately from a recruiting perspective I doubt much has changed from Daniella's experience of schools losing interest if a girl has a baby, but don't give it a second though if a boy fathers a child.

What morality are you trying to uphold if you say sorry you can't play?

I personally know 2 D1 football players that play ball for big name universities that have a baby. The babies' grandmothers take care of the babies while the boys are away at college playing ball....living the dream. Their college programs seem to have little concern about whether they are fathers...

We play some religious schools where I could see this would be a huge issue and I would understand if they didn't take her back on the team due to moral reasons.

Me personally, I would tell her to go home and take care of her child. Ultimately it's her choice (to drop out and enroll in another school to play), but I wouldn't be an enabler for her to get a D1 scholarship and then spend 90 hours a week away from her child.

hssoftball101 said:

We play some religious schools where I could see this would be a huge issue and I would understand if they didn't take her back on the team due to moral reasons.

Me personally, I would tell her to go home and take care of her child. Ultimately it's her choice (to drop out and enroll in another school to play), but I wouldn't be an enabler for her to get a D1 scholarship and then spend 90 hours a week away from her child.

Click to expand...

This isn't school ball. It's an 18U Select team.

Without knowing what her family support situation is, how can you make a judgement on what she should do regarding care of her child? If she still had interest/offers from D1 schools, you wouldn't help her grab the opportunity to get a top-level education that will likely benefit the long-term future of both mom and child?

hssoftball101 said:

We play some religious schools where I could see this would be a huge issue and I would understand if they didn't take her back on the team due to moral reasons.

Me personally, I would tell her to go home and take care of her child. Ultimately it's her choice (to drop out and enroll in another school to play), but I wouldn't be an enabler for her to get a D1 scholarship and then spend 90 hours a week away from her child.

Click to expand...

Hssoftball101 - No mention about the responsibility of the father in your rant. You are not her family and as such if she can play, and meets the team requirements, then what she legally does outside of softball is none of your business unless she is your daughter.

Delantex - Talk with her parents and ensure she is aware of your team rules. Help her get a D1 scholarship if she is that good. When she graduates college the child will be starting pre-school and she will have the degree and financial ability to support the child.

Delantex said:

We have a 17yr. wanting to return to our 18u select team. She just had a baby, and even though she is/was a D1 prospect, we don't believe she fits into the ethical and moral standards we try to uphold. What would you do in this situation?

Click to expand...

Let her play, but make her wear a big scarlet A on her jersey since she didn't uphold your moral standards! Who knows, Alabama may take notice of her that way too.

hssoftball101 said:

We play some religious schools where I could see this would be a huge issue and I would understand if they didn't take her back on the team due to moral reasons.

Me personally, I would tell her to go home and take care of her child. Ultimately it's her choice (to drop out and enroll in another school to play), but I wouldn't be an enabler for her to get a D1 scholarship and then spend 90 hours a week away from her child.

Click to expand...

This double standard KILLS me. Maybe the dad will be the primary caregiver. Who knows. But why is this not her choice? Why should you get to be the morality police to tell her she has to be at home all the time? Personally I chose to stay home with my kids (well, to work jobs that allowed that anyway), but it was MY choice. Would you tell the dad to get off the baseball/football/whatever team and go raise his baby? No, of course you wouldn't. Are dads less important in a child's life? I see some pretty freaking awesome dads around here that might argue about that point. And I have a pretty crappy dad myself and would vote that both parents are equally important. So why are only the moms expected to give up all their hopes and dreams when they have a baby? Is there nothing the child could get out of seeing her mom pursue her dreams? Assuming there is a support system for the child? This is just such a simple-minded response.