Difficult Parents - how to handle?

sydneyellenwade · Aug 3, 2015

Sparky Guy said:
I know you hate to punish a player for bad parental behavior. As you've found out you can not change a persons behavior. This type of parent will always be "That Parent" for as long as their child is playing ANY sport. What they fail to realize is the youth sporting world is really a small community. There are many parents whose reputations precede them. The down side is the child is the one who suffers. No matter how nice the kid is.

I'd like to hear the response from the parent. Bet it will have to be heavily censored to make it PG13. heheheheh

Well, she replied.

You are correct, it would have to be heavily censored. You would think I was ruining their lives forever. I also got the classic mom guilt line that I haven't heard since I was about 13 "I expected more from you".

Oh well, moving on. We have tryouts this week and will hopefully find some talented new kids to round out our roster.

Eric F · Aug 3, 2015

sydneyellenwade said:
Well, she replied.

You are correct, it would have to be heavily censored. You would think I was ruining their lives forever. I also got the classic mom guilt line that I haven't heard since I was about 13 "I expected more from you".

Oh well, moving on. We have tryouts this week and will hopefully find some talented new kids to round out our roster.

You are much better off, and so is the rest of your team. I wish you the best of luck moving forward.

Sparky Guy · Aug 3, 2015

sydneyellenwade said:
Well, she replied.

Oh well, moving on. We have tryouts this week and will hopefully find some talented new kids to round out our roster.

You do realize it's not over. She will try to demonize you at every opportunity, turning and twisting it around making herself out to be the victim. You "Hate" their child and so on. That is the usual tactics of that type of parent.

The Maj · Aug 4, 2015

Sparky Guy said:
You do realize it's not over. She will try to demonize you at every opportunity, turning and twisting it around making herself out to be the victim. You "Hate" their child and so on. That is the usual tactics of that type of parent.

I would fully expect Facebook and every other social media site she happens to be a part of to be blown up with plenty of accusations and comments. As always, you have to consider the source and hope that everyone else that is associated with softball knows all about how crazy the parent is. The last team I AC'd with resulted in a parent posting a bunch of stuff about me and the team in general. At first, it bothered me (since I am not on Facebook, I had to hear about it from a friend) and when I expressed my displeasure the friend said "...this is the fifth time she has done this in the past five years and everyone knows it".

deaconce · Aug 14, 2015

What would this "parent contract" look like? Would someone be willing to post theirs? or email it to me?

grcsftbll · Aug 14, 2015

The team we're playing with this year has an agreement both the parents and players sign. It has the 24 hour rule, no coaching from the stands, stay out of the dugout and off the field, don't argue with the umpires, be positive with our own team and the opponent. It also has things about times to arrive for games and practices, what to bring, etc.

quincy · Aug 14, 2015

You can find a lot on thie internet, here is ours. I have my DW sign it.

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eddie · Aug 16, 2015

I am in the same boat with a new player this season. She came out of the gate strong but got hurt at her first tournament with us. After that it has been nothing short f a nightmare.name and my assist coaches have tried all we can do to get her started again but no result. And for the first time he dad came to at a break and told that his daughter has never had to play in the outfield and that she needed to be on the front line to see her best. Well if she can't make in outfield how is she going to make it on the line. Good kid but parents. And when she came on told the parents what we where looking for and that she would have to work for a spot just as the rest do. And after what happened twice this weekend. Is this the case that it is time to cut ties. I feel that I have let down the others on the team and that I let the parents down this weekend as well.

sydneyellenwade · Aug 20, 2015

You are absolutely correct. She contacted every parent on our team and told them how unfair I was and how much I was intentionally singling out her daughter. She also contacted the director of our program (whom I already talked to before this was done) and complained about the whole organization. And a lot more.....which just tires me to talk about.

Her kid made another team, and I'm happy for her because she does have a love of the game. I'm sorry for all the parents/coaches on the other team....

cuzmail · Aug 20, 2015

sydneyellenwade said:
This is my first year coaching travel, and we have one very difficult parent, who is always complaining about the positions her daughter plays, making comments about other kids (in front of other parents and kids), and confronting the coaching staff during or after games/tournaments. Her kid is great. Not the most talented on the team, but a sweetheart with a good attitude. I've just about had it with the parent though.

There was an "altercation" with this parent and one of our coaches after this weekend's tournament. Parent was loudly complaining about how her kid didn't get enough play at her position of choice and said the we are intentionally not working with her daughter at this positions since we picked up a new girl over the winter (who is about 70x better than her kid). Parent was raising her voice to the coach in front of other parents, and the girls on our team. I had already had a long email conversation with her the previous week saying that we are constantly evaluating kids and that we place players in the positions they are best suited for against the opponent we are facing and that she just needs to trust the coaches and the process.

We are nearing the end of our season, and I think it would be better for everyone if we asked them not to come back next year. We will be moving from 10U to 12U next season. How as a coach do you do that? I struggle with disappointing the player - she is a sweetheart and its not her fault that her parents are a little delusional.

I'm late to this party.
I usually take up for the parents in the usual parents are crazy bashing threads here. It has been my experience that in most cases the parents aren't as crazy as they are accused of being. There is usually an action(s) by one or more of the coaches that has been festering that finally reaches a boiling point. Most coaches discount their actions are really the root cause of the problem and just blame it on crazy rose colored glasses wearing parents.

However, in a scientifically proven

10% of the cases either the parent or coach has gone bat #$% crazy. In your case it sounds like you have a parent who has made it to the elite 1% of that 10% mentioned. Wish the kid well and move on. Those types of actions will destroy a team quicker than most anything else.

Difficult Parents - how to handle?

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sydneyellenwade

Eric F

Sparky Guy

The Maj

deaconce

grcsftbll

quincy

eddie

sydneyellenwade

cuzmail

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