Commish vs coach

Hiya folks - I find myself in need of a reality check. This post will be long, so bear with me, grab a frosty beverage of your choice and grant me your wisdom.

To set the stage, you need to know that this is my 7th year coaching rec, and my 1st year as league commish. We have 68 rec teams, over 650 girls. I have coached All Stars the past 3 seasons (last season I left DD off the team because we had better players and I could only select 2 from mine).

Our All Stars are shared with another league that is about 1/3 our size. Any rules conflicts tend to be resolved in favor of the other league - I don't know why, just works out that way, probably due to inertia from the previous commish.

We generally have 4 8U teams, 4 10U teams, and 2 12U teams. This year we were lacking a coach in 8U, so only 3 teams there. We require the girls to commit to playing 3 of the 4 weekends. Our All Star season runs concurrently with our regular season for 3 weekends, with a 4th and final weekend after the regular season ends. This means that we pick All Stars 2 or 3 weeks into the season, try to squeeze practices in on already full fields, and generally create a lot of tension in the league. None of the coaches and very few parents like the process. I don't like it, but I was too late to the position and lacked a full enough understanding to make any changes for this season.

This season was a bigger disaster than usual, mainly due to me being late on asking for All Star selections. I had planned on holding tryouts instead, but that fell through due to poor planning on my end - just ran out of time to organize it. We had so many late selections that I just finished the rosters yesterday and our 1st games are Sunday.

In 12U, we had 32 players selected, not including the selections from my team. I had 2 teams offer 1 selection each, and both only did it to give the girl the experience - both coaches confided in me that of the girls available to play, none were of AS skill.

The Issue:

For myself as coach, I am in a very lucky position this season. I have 8 players whom I've coached for several years, who all asked to play for me. Of the girls I added to round out the roster are 2 more very good players and 2 mediocre players. I have 11 6th graders and 1 5th grader. We are undefeated so far, with our only close call being our last game when the girls were just playing flat. That was also the first game we gave up double digits, which is almost unheard of in this league. I have 8 legitimate All Star girls. As a coach, I feel that picking 2 or 3 would be unfair to the ones not picked that are deserving. I understand that is the nature of the game, but I also understand that there are options, and that AS is voluntary (and an added expense).

So, I offered my parents the option: I and my AC could select 2-3 All Stars, or we could forego AS and take the entire team to a post season rec All Star tournament. The parents unanimously voted for the post season tournament. It is being paid for by us, no league funds.

Here is an email I received from a parent/assistant coach:

"I understand you are taking your OYAA Rec League softball team to play in a rec/all star tournament the weekend after the Gold tournament and not sending anyone from your team to participate in the OYAA Gold Division All Star Team(s).

You know what our girls are up against when they go to this tournament: due to the current OYAA selection process, we are teams of mismatched talent, with minimal practice together, playing against true A & B teams from the Dublin league. In our league, we have teams that have one, if that, girl that is a legitimate league all star and they are required to send two girls. Other teams have multiple girls that can play at that level and they are forced to omit some due to the 2-3 player limit. I was all for the tryout process as initially announced and thought OYAA was on the right track, but that was pulled back for timing/staffing reasons from what I understand. Once you made that decision to return to the past format, I don't understand how you legitimize playing outside of it.

You have a team that has at least five girls that are current/former all stars and you have not made them available to the process you decided on. I fail to understand how, as league commissioner, you do not support the league activities under your control and actually hinder the girls' chances for success and enjoyment. If there is a better tournament out there, which wouldn't take much, why not offer that to the league? I'm all for doing what is best for the girls and maximizing their opportunities and enjoyment of the game, but this is a rec league and cannot be run as a one for some rather than a one for all. Disappointing to say the least."

Thoughts? I know you'll have questions on details, ask away.

The optics are not good. It does appear you took a team of good players away from the rec league and left the rest of the league short. I understand you feel an obligation to your team, but as league commissioner, you have a bigger role to play. By opting out of the process, you did not show good leadership.

Is the rec league affiliated with a commonly known organization such as Little League, Babe Ruth, etc ?

YoungBuck said:

Is the rec league affiliated with a commonly known organization such as Little League, Babe Ruth, etc ?

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No, we're just our own league.

Having a hard time wrapping my head around how your AS teams are put together. Especially when I see terms like teams being "required to send 2 girls" and "you have not made them available".
Are the girls themselves not given the opportunity to indicate they WANT to play All Stars?

You polled your parents.. What parents? Just the ones who "would" be able to play AS, or were parents of the other girls allowed to choose the fate of the few that could play All-Stars?

Also don't really get the math.. You say you have two 12u teams. How does picking 2-3 girls from each give you an All-Star team? Who are they playing with.

That all put aside, PA is correct in asserting that when you agree to be commissioner, you have to be able to put the needs of the entire league in front of your own, and/or your own team.
Taking a small group of girls (your team) and looking out for their interests is a noble endeavor, but that's not what a commishioner does. Your "team" when you took that job consists of 650 kids, not 12.

Not trying to beat you up, since I'm confused by the dynamics.. But at a first glance, it sure does appear you may have gone down the wrong path here.

PA SB Dad said:

The optics are not good. It does appear you took a team of good players away from the rec league and left the rest of the league short. I understand you feel an obligation to your team, but as league commissioner, you have a bigger role to play. By opting out of the process, you did not show good leadership.

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Appreciate the feedback. To be clear, we kept 2-3 players out of a pool of 35 being assigned to 2 teams. I tried to keep my decision making objective and separate the rolls - impossible to do completely, but I did put much effort in. I can honestly say I'd have done the same if I wasn't commish, and I wouldn't have a problem with another coach doing it if I wasn't the coach. Not sure if that matters, TBH.

TimothyJ said:

Having a hard time wrapping my head around how your AS teams are put together. Especially when I see terms like teams being "required to send 2 girls" and "you have not made them available".
Are the girls themselves not given the opportunity to indicate they WANT to play All Stars?

You polled your parents.. What parents? Just the ones who "would" be able to play AS, or were parents of the other girls allowed to choose the fate of the few that could play All-Stars?

Also don't really get the math.. You say you have two 12u teams. How does picking 2-3 girls from each give you an All-Star team? Who are they playing with.

That all put aside, PA is correct in asserting that when you agree to be commissioner, you have to be able to put the needs of the entire league in front of your own, and/or your own team.
Taking a small group of girls (your team) and looking out for their interests is a noble endeavor, but that's not what a commissioner does. Your "team" when you took that job consists of 650 kids, not 12.

Not trying to beat you up, since I'm confused by the dynamics.. But at a first glance, it sure does appear you may have gone down the wrong path here.

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The teams are not "required" to send any girls to AS. Many of them are on family vacations and cannot make the required 3/4 games. AS is completely voluntary.

I asked all the parents of my team's players, had them reply to me personally so that their votes were private.

We have 2 12U AS teams - but we have 12 12U rec teams to pull from. I have 68 rec teams in the league.

I guess here's where I'm maybe missing perspective: I don't believe that I have to be commish ahead of coach. I believe that I should be both, equally. That would mean making decisions as commish that don't benefit me as coach, and vice versa. I believe that I do put the needs of the league ahead of the needs of any one team. I just don't see AS as a "need." It's more like a reward, a bonus.

Don't get me wrong - I'm certainly willing to change my perspective here. That's why I posted. I'm just offering my reasoning/thought processes. Kind of like thinking out loud - I might say something so monumentally stupid that I shock myself.

This is what I took away from your post and I have a feeling other coaches and parents from other teams feel the same way.

1) You are a commissioner that just so happens to have a stacked team that dominated everybody according to you. Only one game was even close.

2) You created an all-star process that you as commissioner are opting out of because as you say your team is so stacked you cannot just pick a few all-stars while other teams can barely scrape up one.

3) A big part of this disaster is because you did not do your job as commissioner in a timely way according to you.

I think that parent/coach was very kind in the criticism contained in the email. And they were dead on. Honestly this seems like the very definition of failing as a commissioner. What am I missing?

AndyS said:

This is what I took away from your post and I have a feeling other coaches and parents from other teams feel the same way.

1) You are a commissioner that just so happens to have a stacked team that dominated everybody according to you. Only one game was even close.

2) You created an all-star process that you as commissioner are opting out of because as you say your team is so stacked you cannot just pick a few all-stars while other teams can barely scrape up one.

3) A big part of this disaster is because you did not do your job as commissioner in a timely way according to you.

I think that parent/coach was very kind in the criticism contained in the email. And they were dead on. Honestly this seems like the very definition of failing as a commissioner. What am I missing?

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I understand point 1, can't argue it. I knew it would look bad, but it just happened.

I did not create the All Star process - it was in place before I came on board as commish. I'd have changed it with more time to deal with it, and it will be changed for next season.

Yes, I should have been more on top of the entire thing from the start. The only excuse I can offer is that I've never done this before, and the previous commish who was supposed to be walking me through this had some major family issues that prevented him from helping me as much as I obviously needed.

So far pretty universal - I screwed up. Is it fixable?

BuckeyeGuy said:

So far pretty universal - I screwed up. Is it fixable?

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As one who has screwed up much more than the scenario you outlined I can say yes. And because I have so much experience in this department I will just say:

1) Admit your mistakes ideally in a f2f coaches meeting. Say hey I am new to this and I did some things well but I screwed up some other things. And be specific about the mistakes because that says you really get it. And then apologize for those mistakes. And btw you were very honest in your post and did not try to sugarcoat things which goes a long way.

2) Then talk about how you want to fix the process for next year and DELEGATE!! Get the other coaches involved in helping with some of the legwork. One of the most common mistakes in executive management especially by somebody new whether it is corporate America or rec league commish, they try to be a one-man band. Very heroic but usually ends poorly.

3) And if possible participate in the All-Star process as designed. I think doing the first two things above will go a long way because the train may have left the station on this point since you have gone to your parents.

Bottom line is it is very fixable and we all make mistakes. Good luck to you and you should be congratulated for stepping up and trying to help the sport.