Rec Parents!!! Need I say more???

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Feb 23, 2015
38
0
Texas
How do you deal with parents that think their child should be playing a certain position? Position: Catcher. Currently, I have the better catcher (Catcher 1) behind the plate. Catcher 2 is slow and can't keep the ball in front of her. Last tourney, we asked Catcher 2 to get her gear on and warm up a pitcher. She didn't want to do it. Any time we play her @ 1st base, she stands there like she is bored. Last night, she didn't even try to get an out. My assistant coach asked her if she wanted to play 1st, and she told him "No." We moved her to right field. Her Mom had a fit.

Catcher 2's Mom tried to approach me while I was warming up the team before the game. She wanted to know if her daughter was going to catch, etc. I told her this weekend. The mother is constantly bad mouthing me in the stands because I won't "give her a chance." I have given her MANY chances. Every time, I have to pull her because too many runs get scored against us on the steals to home or she isn't even getting the throws to the pitcher. Catcher 2 is taking lessons, but is not improving. Catcher 1 has never had a lesson and does MUCH better. How do I explain this to the mother?

How would you handle this?
 
Oct 11, 2010
8,337
113
Chicago, IL
The tourney part threw me.

Assuming you have and can train up another C I would have a separate conversion with the parent and player then together if you want. This is coming from information in your post.

Your DD has received opportunities to C but she is not going to C all the time. Her attitude sucks when she is not catching. She is not going to C again until I see the same effort she applies to C to the other positions we place her in.
 
Jun 18, 2013
322
18
At 10U none of them are going to be particularly great in rec ball. Give the girl some time at catcher, but explain that if she can't focus on the task at hand then she is not going to play at such a crucial position. If she wants to play there then she is going to have to show it.

Tell all of the parents that you are instituting a 24 hour rule on discussing "issues" with the games and positions. Make sure they know that you are more than happy to talk to them, but that the appropriate time is not during the game or immediately after it while the kids are around. Tell them them all that you will gladly speak with them the day after any games by phone or text when you have had time to come down from the competitive rush of the game and had a chance to process what you saw. Put the blame on your own competitive drive and say that you don't want to get caught up in the moment and say something while you are still caught up in the heat of the game. Then stick to your rule. Do not allow anyone to drag you into an argument or fight in front of the kids. EVER.

If the mom does ask to talk to you during the appropriate times, explain that her daughter has told your AC that she didn't want to play at a position she was asked to play so she got moved and has refused to warm up pitchers because she didn't want to put the catcher's gear on. Mom is most likely getting a very different story than you are from her DD.

Under no circumstances do you tell her that her daughter is slow and not playing the position well. They are 9 and 10 year old girls. Most likely, this girl has played this position for a few weeks and is trying to figure out what to do. If your rec team is like the one I coach, you have not had the time or opportunity to coach them enough to be able to help her get better as much as you want so you are having to struggle through with sloppy play and you want to keep your best player back there just to keep from pulling your own hair out. Suck it up and let the kid figure out if she really can do it. Encourage her and give her pointers on how to block better and how to move more. Do the best you can and remember that it is just rec ball and that 9 or 10 year old girl is looking for you to make it awesome.

Mom may be frustrated for 1000 different reasons and just wants her DD to shine because she knows how bad her DD needs something to go right for her. Be that thing that goes right.
 
Feb 12, 2014
648
43
I think I would keep a list of behaviors that you are seeing to use when talking with this parent such as the refusal to warm up a pitcher. My guess is that when she hears about that and the fact that the girl is telling you she doesn't want to play 1B, etc. that she'll back down. She'll still bad mouth you in the stands, but there's not much you can do about that. I would also make it clear to her (and maybe all the parents) that pre-game is NOT an apporpriate time for discussions regarding positions, playing time, batting order, etc.
 
Feb 17, 2014
7,152
113
Orlando, FL
I would not get too wrapped around the axle on this. Explain how it works and if they do not agree that is unfortunate but it still is what it is. Base on the attitude, work ethic, and enabling from mom the kid is most likely in this for the short term. Put your efforts toward the kids and parents that have the right attitude.
 
Feb 23, 2015
38
0
Texas
At 10U none of them are going to be particularly great in rec ball. Give the girl some time at catcher, but explain that if she can't focus on the task at hand then she is not going to play at such a crucial position. If she wants to play there then she is going to have to show it.

Tell all of the parents that you are instituting a 24 hour rule on discussing "issues" with the games and positions. Make sure they know that you are more than happy to talk to them, but that the appropriate time is not during the game or immediately after it while the kids are around. Tell them them all that you will gladly speak with them the day after any games by phone or text when you have had time to come down from the competitive rush of the game and had a chance to process what you saw. Put the blame on your own competitive drive and say that you don't want to get caught up in the moment and say something while you are still caught up in the heat of the game. Then stick to your rule. Do not allow anyone to drag you into an argument or fight in front of the kids. EVER.

If the mom does ask to talk to you during the appropriate times, explain that her daughter has told your AC that she didn't want to play at a position she was asked to play so she got moved and has refused to warm up pitchers because she didn't want to put the catcher's gear on. Mom is most likely getting a very different story than you are from her DD.

Under no circumstances do you tell her that her daughter is slow and not playing the position well. They are 9 and 10 year old girls. Most likely, this girl has played this position for a few weeks and is trying to figure out what to do. If your rec team is like the one I coach, you have not had the time or opportunity to coach them enough to be able to help her get better as much as you want so you are having to struggle through with sloppy play and you want to keep your best player back there just to keep from pulling your own hair out. Suck it up and let the kid figure out if she really can do it. Encourage her and give her pointers on how to block better and how to move more. Do the best you can and remember that it is just rec ball and that 9 or 10 year old girl is looking for you to make it awesome.

Mom may be frustrated for 1000 different reasons and just wants her DD to shine because she knows how bad her DD needs something to go right for her. Be that thing that goes right.

We are one week away from the end of our season, and she still hasn't improved. She is constantly 20-30 mins late for pre-game warmups. She has missed more practices than the rest of the team combined. Grant it, some were due to a death in the family, but others were not. I try to tell her what to do, and she looks at me like I'm an idiot. My older daughter is a catcher, and she has tried also. She won't make the corrections, and she won't hustle.
 

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