- Jan 25, 2011
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I'm very conservative for the most part. So that being said, it is none of my business as a coach. I don't like the school or other people to tell me how to raise my child, so I honor others.
Coaching Boundaries
- Thread starter Easton33
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And I'm pretty liberal for the most part ... and with that being said, it is still none of my business as a coach.
If I thought something abusive was going on at home, that's one thing. Otherwise, my morals are mine and best kept to myself. Any coach that thought a "neck bruise" was their business would probably not be my DD's coach for long.
If I thought something abusive was going on at home, that's one thing. Otherwise, my morals are mine and best kept to myself. Any coach that thought a "neck bruise" was their business would probably not be my DD's coach for long.
With all due respect, I don't think it's that clear cut. If you overheard a parent talking about letting their underage DD have a drink (which I do not agree with), I would doubt that you would confront the issue. So, simply being illegal or not doesn't draw a clear line, imo.
Perhaps. But if I chose to I would have a legal basis for doing so. Probably also a team rules basis since that's usually included with most teams. I would have no such basis for the "neck bruise." Pretty sure it's legal in all 50 states.
I would be far more concerned if the girl showed up with the type of real bruises that suggest someone was hitting her.
When you start into the realm of illegal I do not believe you can turn a blind eye. They can do whatever they want, on someone else's team.
I do not want that influence, both from the parents and the player coming into play with the rest of the team. Moral is subjective, illegal is not.
I do not want that influence, both from the parents and the player coming into play with the rest of the team. Moral is subjective, illegal is not.
Just playing Devil advocate here, but would you kick a kid off the team for doing 70 mph in a 55? It's illegal. If not, illegal is subjective.
Just so I'm clear, I agree the coaches have a fine line to walk here. Personally, I wouldn't care one bit if the coach spoke with my DD about a hickey, but that's me. I also wouldn't be offended if they didn't say a word. I'm simply saying we use the word "illegal" when it suits us the best. It's just not that cut and dry. We're not talking about felonies here.
But it's not a coach's job to give that sort of guidance unless the player or parent requests it. That's not what parents and players are signing up for, generally speaking, when joining a softball team.
- Jul 4, 2012
- 329
- 18
It's TB, so our rules are what's a play here. Perhaps our rules are over the top?
But, when I agreed to help, it was explained to me that we were about more than teaching softball. The rules and goals are very similar to a Christian org but without the religious component. At 14u, I see different levels of maturity already, and a couple of the players have made comments about the bruise. Fact is, there is a lot more at play, and the kid needs us just as much as the team needs her.
We have decided not to address it for now, and we will not even address the two girls that expressed some concern.
BTW, I guess we'll get rid of the rule about earning passing grades. None of our business and certainly not illegal - we'll just teach them softball. The how to field a ground ball lesson will be the rewarding part in life when they get into their twenties...I guess. I'm sure it will be just as rewarding.
But, when I agreed to help, it was explained to me that we were about more than teaching softball. The rules and goals are very similar to a Christian org but without the religious component. At 14u, I see different levels of maturity already, and a couple of the players have made comments about the bruise. Fact is, there is a lot more at play, and the kid needs us just as much as the team needs her.
We have decided not to address it for now, and we will not even address the two girls that expressed some concern.
BTW, I guess we'll get rid of the rule about earning passing grades. None of our business and certainly not illegal - we'll just teach them softball. The how to field a ground ball lesson will be the rewarding part in life when they get into their twenties...I guess. I'm sure it will be just as rewarding.
Would you kick a kid off the team for the neck bruise?
I don't think we're talking about kicking anyone off the team for any of the offenses. Even drinking on a first offense. We're talking about whether you would sit down with the kid and have a discussion about it. Or offer some form of punishment.
It is simply my opinion that if it's an issue of morality, and not illegal, it's up to the parents to deal with it, not the coach. You have more grounds on which to base the choice if the action is illegal.
Unless, of course, you know that parental involvement is non-existent as sadly is the case sometimes. In the absence of a parent I might check into it a little more. I wouldn't care about the neck bruise itself. Only if it seems to be an indication of other bad choices. I would still err on the side of caution, however. I certainly wouldn't want to hear that some decided to lecture my kid on morality regarding something that I don't find to be a problem.
