She had a hickey

Started helping coach a 14u team, and we had a girl show up to practice with a big hickey on her neck. We thought we did a fairly good job of communicating rules on the front-end, but unfortunately, we left hickeys out of it... Sporting a hickey is not okay (at least in our opinion) if we really stick to the spirit of what we are trying to teach these young ladies off the softball field - empowerment, respect, confidence, etc.

In your experience, how can we address this now? Any help would be appreciated.

Not your job to be her parent...if her parent doesn't have a problem with this, then the parent will probably be a grandparent very soon.

Isn't that somewhat normal at that age? 14 year olds neck and that kind of stuff from what I remember (it's been a while).

So is it the coaches place to say "no boyfriends, no hair coloring, no piercings". Agreed, parents duty not yours. Your's is softball and respect while on your time.

Ooh the 14u drama........ My favorite was the girl that snuck off with the coaches son and took off her top while making out with him.

Having to tell girls it isn't ok to strip down to their tighty whiteys on main street to change into their uniform because they are running late.

I am so glad my DD#1 was brought up right.

I want to see the Team rules that covers this.

I think the last time I heard the word "hickey" I was holding a Zima. If this is the only issue you're dealing with consider yourself a parent/coach with no worries in the world.

To answer your question...If you attempt to deal or make an issue of this, I think you'd be breaking that invisible "boundary" coaches need to be conscious of, and respect. You are her softball coach, not her parent. If you have specific rules in place about appearance then you might have some leverage; otherwise go enjoy a cold 6-pack of Zima.

However, if you feel she is getting into risky business or trouble, or possibly endangering herself that her parents might not be aware of, then you have my support to give the parents a friendly call to let them know of some things you have heard or witnessed; then leave it to them to handle on their own....Just as any parent or responsible adult would do for any other parents of kids they know. But you would make this call as a concerned parent, not because you are her coach.

SoGASoftball said:

Started helping coach a 14u team, and we had a girl show up to practice with a big hickey on her neck. We thought we did a fairly good job of communicating rules on the front-end, but unfortunately, we left hickeys out of it... Sporting a hickey is not okay (at least in our opinion) if we really stick to the spirit of what we are trying to teach these young ladies off the softball field - empowerment, respect, confidence, etc.

In your experience, how can we address this now? Any help would be appreciated.

Click to expand...

What specifically is your specific concern about a 14U player occasionally sporting a hicky? What effect do you fear that it might have on the team? Are those fears realistic?

I'd like to hear the pros and cons before forming my final opinion.

Man all I have to do today, is lock threads.