what to do with "that kid"

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I think we've all seen that kid I'm talking about... the entitled kid who is to put it nicely- a jerk! The girl that thinks she knows everything and is uncoachable. The girl that is flat out mean and consistently makes her teammates feel bad. I'm my words... a horrible teammate. She has talent and great potential but at some point is going to be left behind because of her attitude resulting in nobody wanting to play with her let alone coach her.

At the risk of being lectured I have to get some advice from all the big brains on DFP. I know as a coach most will say get rid of the cancer- it's simply not worth it. She'll drag you and your team down. Basically run as fast as you can right?

So with what I'll admit was probably a bit of denial in the beginning plus a little bit of hoping this time I talk to her it will sink in and make a difference, it is now to the point that I'm at a loss for options. I never played like this and I sure don't coach like this. In fact this is the only girl I've ever had this problem with. As easy as it is to say get rid of the problem, on this one I can't... she is my kid. So I'm humbled with a heavy heart when I ask please, can you help me?
 
Aug 29, 2011
2,581
83
NorCal
You are the coach right? Playing time - or in her case - bench time may convey what words so far have been unable to do.

Explain to her why she is on the bench and it is her attitude not her talent that she need to change to get back on the diamond.
 
I've done that, pulled her in the middle of a batter(yes she is a pitcher) and sat her for the remaining 2 games of the tourney. It got better for a bit but then went right back to jerk mode... arrggghhh!
 

JJsqueeze

Dad, Husband....legend
Jul 5, 2013
5,436
38
safe in an undisclosed location
Are you sure she is as bad as you think? Maybe you are being too critical? If you really think she is a bad teammate then she needs to have softball and other team sports taken away from her until she can be a good teammate. Tell her that if she wants to play as an individual then she can take up Tennis or Golf but that one of the most important part of a team sport is to learn to be a good teammate and if she cannot be a good teammate then maybe she is better suited to doing something else.
 
Jan 17, 2014
54
0
Middle America
have you thought about retiring from coaching? I find the games more enjoyable in a chair hiding beer in a foam cup like the rest of the parents. Seriously though, I had this exact same problem when I coached 10u. I decided my dd would be better off with someone else coaching. I also realized she was getting a reputation as a brat and good players would not want to join my team because of it. I would guess she is a good player, maybe the best, on your team. Find a team where she is challenged to work hard and control her attitude for playing time. You are not doing her any favors allowing this to continue. Good luck. I've been there.
 
May 7, 2008
8,506
48
Tucson
Give her one more chance. Let her know that any more attitude, that she and you will be leaving and going home. Mean it. Maybe she doesn't want to play. I guess you will find out.
 

WARRIORMIKE

Pro-Staff Everything
Oct 5, 2009
2,815
48
At the Jewel in San Diego
How is she being a jerk? What are her motives? What age are we talking about?

Listen listen listen Linda. We can't always control what our kids say and do. In this case you can. Have her stay home while you run your practices and games. If she askes " where are you going mommy". Then tell her that you're going somewhere fun and enjoyable. Where bad attitudes are not tolerated. When you have your practices make them super fun. Have a pizza party with out your daughter under the same idea.

She needs to understand that her bad attitude will get her no where in life. The few things she missed out on was because of attitude. If it gets worse call Dr.phil
 
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