Motivating 8 to 10 year olds

I wonder how much of this has to do with the messages that kids get from parents, either the coaches or the ones just sitting in the stands.

I have found kids in the 8-10 range to be relatively oblivious to the score. When my DD was this age, I felt that they played with similar confidence and effort regardless. They had their ups and downs emotionally, but not because of the score, or because they were taking a butt-whoopin’.

I think coaches and parents in this age division believe that they need to tell kids how to feel about winning and losing. What they find is that kids often don’t care nearly as much as the adults do. So the adults have to teach young kids to be competitive since, after all, winning and losing is what it’s all about. So we’re really happy when we win, and we’re really disappointed when we lose. That's the way it ought to be.

As a result, kids who once were relatively oblivious to the score begin to sense that the score really matters. Therefore, if we’re losing 6-1, that’s terrible.

IMO, kids will figure out the value of winning and losing on their own, at their own speed. What they have now, at 10U, is a desire to hit the ball, catch the ball, make a good throw, have a good time w/ their friends. That’s plenty of motivation for now. Those things are motivating regardless of the score, so let’s de-emphasize the score and enjoy that. They'll learn to care more about the team winning and losing when they're ready. Some already have that. Some don't. I don't care. They're 10.

But instead of that, we often see these 10U post-game circles of shame about why we lost. Or on the flipside, you have what is intended to be positive: ''Just forget that game. Don't dwell on it. Everybody has a bad game. Don't hang your heads.'' Well, they wouldn't be hanging their heads if you hadn't made it about winning and losing.

IMO, if you don’t want 10-year-old kids to worry about the score, then stop worrying about the score.

You are painting with a broad brush Coogans. I do agree you will have kids that don't know the score, but on a competitive team (especially with kids that play other travel sports like basketball where they always see the scoreboard), you will have more that are aware of the score.

The key is to not stress winning or losing. Both are a process - you don't win without a lot going right. You don't lose without a fair amount going the other way. The key is to talk to the kids about things they did right and things they could have done better without getting too high with the wins or too low after losses.

vcackerman said:

You are painting with a broad brush Coogans. I do agree you will have kids that don't know the score, but on a competitive team (especially with kids that play other travel sports like basketball where they always see the scoreboard), you will have more that are aware of the score.

The key is to not stress winning or losing. Both are a process - you don't win without a lot going right. You don't lose without a fair amount going the other way. The key is to talk to the kids about things they did right and things they could have done better without getting too high with the wins or too low after losses.

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That's fair. I didn't mean to say all kids were the same, or that they don't care at all about winning. Some are more competitive and concerned about the score than others. Just saying that in my experience, most kids that age already have a healthy, age-appropriate perspective on winning and losing, and that adults often damage that healthy perspective.

I agree w/ your second paragraph and might even take it further. I not only would not stress winning and losing in 10U. Most times, I wouldn't even acknowledge it. It's not a big part of what I'd be trying to do at that age. I think many parents believe you have to make a deal out of winning and losing so that kids will know how to win. IMO, they'll figure it out in time. No need to rush it at this age.

First of all, if you have pitchers throwing only 30-35% strikes, you are in for a long, painful season. They need to schedule regular, weekly pitching practices both on their own and during team practices (either 30mins before or after preferably). Nothing de-motivates your team defense more than standing around as your pitchers are walking and hitting batter, after batter. Have the catchers/pitchers work together in practice.

Secondly, run well organized practices, smaller groups, and keep the players engaged. There should be no real downtime between skills/drills stations.

Keep it fun and positive and work on fundamentals. And remember, at this age, they like the social aspects of the game as much as the game itself.

Lastly, always finish the practice with a fun drill or game. The girls love the competition. Look up "Last Girl Standing", "Over the Line", or even have a 6 x 6 scrimmage. We used to set-up an empty 5 gallon water bottle on a bucket at home plate and would hit grounders to the players and they got a point for their team every time they knocked the bottle off. Great fun.

So here is my favorite post game speech last year....We got throttled by a team we played this weekend. Final score was 25-0 last season. Everyone looked like someone stole their puppy. They knew they got smacked around.

I told them all to close their eyes. Visualize a toilet in front of them. Bring their hand up and push the handle.

Told them they flushed that game away and I'll see them on Tuesday for practice.

They all laughed and had a great practice Tuesday.

We saw that team again this weekend and while we lost - the final was 8-0 and we were within 3-0 going to the 6th.

Ultimately it appears though that the bottom line is, all you can do is provide them with a great, competitive environment, give them the tools to succeed but eventually they will each have to find that "drive" in their own time.

Thank you all very much for the responses. Some really great info here and i wish i had time to address them all and thank you for the contributions. We have one tournament left before we break for winter, i will definitely be using some of these ideas.

My youngest dd has played 10u fastpitch for the last 4 years. She went from tball at 5 right into 10u at 6, and will stay there next season as a true 10... in that time, at the end of almost every game at least 2 kids say to me "did we win?" during the post game talk...
In order for this age to be motivated they need to be having fun. This can't be all about wins and losses. Teach them good fundamentals of weight transfer and attacking a ground ball etc. The rest is all about laughing and leaving practice with a smile.

coach james said:

..at the end of almost every game at least 2 kids say to me "did we win?" during the post game talk..

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Yes, very true for some players in rec ball, but in my experience players on all-star, tournament, and travel ball teams care very much whether they win or lose. Even at 10U, I would be more than a little concerned if these players on competitive type teams didn't care what the score is in the game was.

Great advice above. I can only add to avoid long lines/standing around like the plague. Use stations whenever possible, with no more than 2-3 per station. Have an overall goal, but don't be afraid to modify or completely change up an activity if it's failing. If kids are starting to chat about the mall or how cute Mickey is, it might be time to modify or complete change the drill.

Ken B said:

If kids are starting to chat about the mall or how cute Mickey is, it might be time to modify or complete change the drill.

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Any kid that likes Mickey Mantle gets a helmet sticker and ice cream, IMO.