No coaching allowed

So a bit of background before my question: my fall ball team asst coaches are still learning to not coach too much, and to coach not at all during games, but to instead manage the game and the players. We had a come-to-Jesus 2 weeks ago and they've been great. This has gotten me several encouraging emails from parents.

So today during our double header game 2, we were completely unable to manage the team on D due to parents trying to coach every pitch, every play. I didn't say anything there, didn't want to create a scene, and we basically kept quiet for the entire game.

Tonight I sent off an email to all the parents asking them not to coach from the bleachers (and to stay out of the dugout - another discussion entirely, but it's rec so there's some leeway from my end). I told them that I wanted to encourage them to be involved and enthusiastic in cheering on the team, but to not try to coach their DD's from the stands while we (the coaches) are trying to manage. I phrased it very politely, but I was firm at the same time.

Thoughts?

Lots of luck with that.

Good luck, I can't get mine to stop yelling when to run... we have a rule that you can only advance to 3rd on an infield hit and cannot run home from 3rd on an overthrow... and they will still yell run... I am the most aggressive running 3rd base coach you will find, and if they let me handle it I will run the legs off our baserunners, but we have rules and strategies. I held a runner with no outs at near third to keep an play from getting the runner at first and they are trying to scream over me to run... which I did right after they threw the play to first.... which was too late, we got the run and saved the out but the parents were trying to scream over me.... argh. Good luck, I have had none, they think they know better. I might lose it one day if they won't stop yelling at my ace pitcher to slow down and aim. I am a numbers guy so I have the data, her strikes average 37+ and balls average 34 (she is only 8), slowing down doesn't help, proper smooth mechanics is faster and more accurate. I'd settle for them stop coaching wrong if I can't them to shut up.

It's been my experience that a dad or mom who is going to coach from the stands is generally going to do it regardless of a coaches suggestion to not do it. Sometimes on competitive teams it's more about the coach telling the player that her coach's are not in the stands, they are on the field with her, thus they are the only voices she should listen to in terms of instructions.

Had an ongoing issue a two seasons ago. Despite a couple of conversations the parents just did not get it. Between innings I pulled the player and explained that I did not share the same coaching philosophy as her parents. I sent her to the stands to sit with her parents stating that if her parents want to provide her with input into how to play the game I would make that very easy by having her sit next to them. That way they could talk to her directly throughout the game. The issue was resolved by the next game.

I have never used written team rules. I manage expectations at the beginning of the season and parents by and large know what will fly and what will not. Failing that I quickly and decisively address anything as it comes up. Problems with coaching from the stands is usually due to a respect issue between the parents and the coach. If you earn the respect of the parents you have very few issues.

Out in Left Field said:

I have more rules and hierarchy in HS how to do this, while in TB and rec you don't. So I would tell the parent, after rules are communicated (ie the email mentioned above), that you get one more warning, and then you are asked to leave or move to the outfield fence. I would do this in a personal conversation, right after the game. (I have done this BTW within my HS authority structure; it just involves higher ups.)

It is obvious that no parents should be in the dugout; that rule has existed since the dawn of time.

In HS we enforce a rule that behind the backstop is only for scorekeepers and other officials. This has helped us a lot because parents want to call pitches on defense, coach the batters on offense, and yell at the ump. Some schools and even regional park fields have placed green tarps there so fans can't see. By moving the folks down to the third and first stands (and further down if they have chairs), it is amazing how the bigger and more compressed the group is, the less they coach.

One of the rules you could use is this one: If you hear another parent coaching the players, ask him or her to stop.

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Better rule is for the coach to do their job and properly manage the situation so it does not occur.

BuckeyeGuy said:

Thoughts?

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They stop coaching or they go watch from center field.

One year we had 5 parents out there. The last 2 season we have had none because everyone knows we will send them out there.

You have an individual conversation with each parent on this is how it will be and if they don't like it, well too bad, you are the head coach. If they wanted to coach then they should have volunteered. I am sure the league would have welcomed them. They get one warning then they are out there for the next game - and when they come back if it happens again, it is the rest of the season.

You should also inform your commissioner/league manager that this is an issue and how you are going to handle it so when you send a parent to CF and they go b&&&h to them they know it is coming. You will need their support.

I was co-coach of my son's team in the spring and we had a lot of problems with this. You definitely have to address it when it happens during the games. Most of the parents were okay after one or two reminders. The other coach got into it with one of the parents in the middle of a game and it got pretty ugly. Cooler heads finally prevailed, but we had problems with that one parent all season.

As for parents in the dugout, we had a strict rule against that. We were okay with parents coming over and talking to their kids during the game as long as they kept it positive, but there was no reason for them to come into the dugout. They just get in the way.

I use an indicator that I teach my players and parents at the beginning of each season.
It's simply pointing to home plate, and it's a two-way thing that indicates the player should be focusing on the game, and nothing else.

I ask the parents, if they see their child looking at them (which they do, particularly after making an error or swinging at a bad pitch) they are to point to the plate as if to say "it's ok.. Stay focused"

On the other hand.. If the player feels Mom or Dad is distracting them, a point to the plate says "I'm trying to focus here"

I've had a lot of success with this. When a parent sees their own kid pointing... They quickly learn that they are acting like "that" parent, and the chirping usually stops pretty quickly

I would say coming over to the dug out to do anything more than give water or something like that as being overboard. That's me.

Believe it or not, during the high school season, I can't think of a single moment when I yelled an instruction to my daughter during her varsity or JV games. Maybe that's because I'm a coach who hates it when parents coach from the stands. Parents, like me, might have differences with some coaches, but the very best time to leave those issues in the closet is during a game.

I've even found myself during a game explaining to one parent or another why the coach may have chosen to have his/her daughter bunt as opposed to swing away.