No coaching allowed

I had players and parents sign a "Code of Conduct" contract at the beginning of each season. Some it worked for some it did not. I guess its all in how you enforce it.

Riseball hit on something I should have done but didn't: the pre-season expectations. I do this for my summer teams, and for some reason didn't do it for this team (my 1st fall ball season).

I thank you all for the suggestions and ideas and stories! I feel that I'm on the right path here, and will continue to monitor and correct the situation as needed. I will also be letting my league manager know what's happening, and what I'm doing.

josh's story resonated, as it was very similar to a play from Sunday: 9yo catcher new to dropped 3rd strike, bases juiced, no outs. She drops the 3rd strike, blue calls the batter out loudly enough for me to hear it, and I see her grab and get ready to throw to 1st. I'm telling her to "eat it" while both parents (and possibly other unrelated parents) are yelling at her to throw it. She threw it, 2 runs scored. I could tell that she couldn't even hear me over the screaming parents, and I assume she wasn't paying attention to the ump but instead to her folks.

Practice will be interesting this week.

When I was a head coach, ''no coaching from the stands'' was one of only three parental rules that I expressed to every team. I think if you make it important enough and remind them (and don't make it one of 50 rules that they have to sign), that you can virtually stamp it out.

I also pointed out that the rule is not in place because the coaches are so much smarter than the parents (although one would hope that the coaches did offer better coaching), but because the kids play better when there are fewer voices distracting them.

btw, my other two rules were about getting kids where they are supposed to be and leaving umpires alone.

Those three issues account for about 90 percent of parental stress, IMO.

Doug Romrell said:

I would say coming over to the dug out to do anything more than give water or something like that as being overboard. That's me.

Believe it or not, during the high school season, I can't think of a single moment when I yelled an instruction to my daughter during her varsity or JV games. Maybe that's because I'm a coach who hates it when parents coach from the stands. Parents, like me, might have differences with some coaches, but the very best time to leave those issues in the closet is during a game.

I've even found myself during a game explaining to one parent or another why the coach may have chosen to have his/her daughter bunt as opposed to swing away.

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I know a TB coach who will usually sit on a hill overlooking the field, so as not to interfere with the game. He can't sit in the stands and remain quiet, and he can't figure out how I can keep quiet during the games.

S far as bunting vs. swinging away, I don't always agree with the coaches, but I realize the coaches know more about the situation than I.

I remember a 10U tournament once where the coach kept having DD bunt, over and over again, in situations I thought were a bit nuts (such as bunting to get on base with 2 outs). I bit my tongue around the coach, esp. since DD kept getting on base. Finally, a more knowledgeable parent explained to me that bunting in 10U can be a great strategy, esp. if the batter is fast and can bunt well. The irony is, the one time DD was in a situation whee everyone expected her to bunt, the coach had her swing away. That led to a game-winning 2 RBI double, with the infielders positioned to field a bunt.

Doug Romrell said:

I would say coming over to the dug out to do anything more than give water or something like that as being overboard. That's me.

Believe it or not, during the high school season, I can't think of a single moment when I yelled an instruction to my daughter during her varsity or JV games. Maybe that's because I'm a coach who hates it when parents coach from the stands. Parents, like me, might have differences with some coaches, but the very best time to leave those issues in the closet is during a game.

I've even found myself during a game explaining to one parent or another why the coach may have chosen to have his/her daughter bunt as opposed to swing away.

Click to expand...

BobInMadison said:

I know a TB coach who will usually sit on a hill overlooking the field, so as not to interfere with the game. He can't sit in the stands and remain quiet, and he can't figure out how I can keep quiet during the games.

S far as bunting vs. swinging away, I don't always agree with the coaches, but I realize the coaches know more about the situation than I.

I remember a 10U tournament once where the coach kept having DD bunt, over and over again, in situations I thought were a bit nuts (such as bunting to get on base with 2 outs). I bit my tongue around the coach, esp. since DD kept getting on base. Finally, a more knowledgeable parent explained to me that bunting in 10U can be a great strategy, esp. if the batter is fast and can bunt well. The irony is, the one time DD was in a situation whee everyone expected her to bunt, the coach had her swing away. That led to a game-winning 2 RBI double, with the infielders positioned to field a bunt.

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It is really a matter of perspective. Good or bad HS softball is what is it is and due to the bureaucratic inertia change is difficult at best. Few AD's will dump a softball coach because the program is not successful. Some programs have great coaches and play at a high level, others are Rec-ball teams with lots of team spirit. That said you need to have realistic expectations. If you shop at Wal-Mart you do not expect Neiman-Marcus service and quality. If the program is great with competent coaching then you are very fortunate. If the program is poor and the coaching less than competent then let go and make the most of it. Complaining about bad coaching at the HS level, knowing that nothing will change and you have no other options is like bitching about poor service while in line at the DMV.

I always met with the parents prior to the season beginning. After the games have started, is sometimes too late. But, I remember telling them, not to yell things like "Slide!, Go!, Run! Throw to 2nd!, etc." Their child will hear their parent's voice above mine and I may have a reason for wanting to draw a throw, that the parent may not be aware of.

Our first year of travel ball this situation split three girls from the team. It wasn't addressed up front and when it was addressed later it was pretty brash and hard core. It eventually worked out for the better but setting an expectation up front would have saved a lot of time, energy, and stress.

The only time I welcomed parent coaching is if little Susie was taking pitching or hitting lessons and they needed to be reminded of mechanical errors. I asked the parents to come up with a single keyword to help. Sometimes just hearing a familiar voice would help and keeping the badgering to a single word minimized the distraction.

Out in Left Field said:

In HS we enforce a rule that behind the backstop is only for scorekeepers and other officials.

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I like sitting behind the plate!!!!!!!
Well actually just to the left batter's box side. I like to see the pitches and movement.
Yes, I can sit there and be quiet - even when DD is pitching.

OK - so I'm sitting behind the back stop next to the dug out. DD is in the circle. We're playing in our first 16u tourney as a first year 14u team, so everyone is a little nervous. It's getting late in the game and DD starts throwing an unusual amount of her pitches high. (She is a drop ball pitcher.) After about the third pitch above the numbers I start yelling at her to "come on girl, work at the knees!"

Coach leans out of the dug out and says "Rise balls - Dad."

We have just started working on rise balls. I had no idea they were throwing them in games. I didn't think she was ready yet.

DOOH!