What Would YOU Do? Please Advise

PA SB Dad said:

In reading the OP, my first reaction was that this was another crazy 10U parent/coach ranting and raving. ONE girl (J) did not ruin your DD's entire fall softball experience. Your DD still has the opportunity to play softball, and still has the opportunity to have a great fall season. ONLY YOU and your reaction to the situation, and how your DD sees you dealing with the situation, will determine whether DD's fall ball experience has been ruined. This is rec league, and there is no drama if the parents keep it together and act like adults (which usually does not happen in rec leagues, unfortunately).

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So far, all the adults' actions, reactions, and behavior has been above reproach, at least in the case of my 4 original players. I am more concerned with how lying and deception and unsportsmanlike behavior is going to affect every player, including my my DD.

BuckeyeGuy said:

My $0.02:

Rec is about fun and development, not W-L. If your DD is good enough for TB and there are TB opportunities, she's got no business being in rec. If she's happy playing, let her play. If she's unhappy, use it as a teaching moment on how to work through a crappy situation. It's about her.

Ray

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It is absolutely about her. Ultimately, I gave her the decision of what she wanted to do, and she chose to stay with this team for the remainder of the season and move on in the spring.

KnoxMayhem said:

It is absolutely about her. Ultimately, I gave her the decision of what she wanted to do, and she chose to stay with this team for the remainder of the season and move on in the spring.

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Good.

Also, what if she has fun? That is always possible.

DD #3 was in a bit of a snit recently. The local LL has a rule for fall ball softball, kids can choose a "buddy". She is the fastest pitcher in 12U fall ball, so she "buddied" with the best catcher. (Dropped 3rd strikes are a real problem, and there is a wide age range in the fall. There really is a danger of a young catcher getting hurt trying to catch her pitches.) For various reasons, it was considered unfair to have what was considered the best pitcher and the best catcher on the same team. However, the girl who IS pitching with the best catcher is more consistent, and if DD is wild, which she often is, that pitcher is clearly better.

Worse, DD #3 is the ONLY 7th grader on the team, and more than a year older than the oldest 6th grader.

DD #3's first reaction was to give up pitching, give up the local LL, even give up softball altogether.

I convinced DD #3 to go to practice. The coach caught her for a while in practice. When I picked up DD #3, she was in a great mood. Her drop ball was really dropping that practice, the droppiest drop she had ever droppilly dropped. Suddenly, fall ball didn't seem so bad. Now, fall ball will be a place where she can work on her drop ball in low-pressure game situations.

KnoxMayhem said:

Even if that means the rest of the team has to be split up? Isn't that excessive? My loyalty is with DD first and my other 3 players second, but even the rest of new coach's team would be broken up. That's unfair to those players also. I do realize *someone* is coming out of this situation with the short end of the stick no matter what.

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Yes. Help your DD find a good team and then just parent. Stay out of coaching until you gain a broader perspective about this whole thing.