Keep/Cut

High school player transferred to another school last year because parents were not satisfied with coach. Player is now returning to original school for reasons unknown. I talked to her coach from last year and he said he made the parents mad. I had problem with parents before with older daughter. Keep or cut her at tryouts? Thanks for your input.

Let’s say you grade players on a rating scale from 1 – 10. This player automatically gets 1 or 2 points off her rating. If she still makes the Team, discuss with the AD if you can keep the parents on a short leash. Maybe ban them from games, practice, etc. if they annoy you. All communications with the Team from them go through the AD. Obviously let the parents know all this before the player is told they are on the Team and ask them if they accept your plan.

I find it hard to penalize a player in school ball because of their parents if there is any way you can avoid it. I know you don’t need the headache but that is why you get paid the big bucks.

If you cannot get the support of the AD or the parents will not agree with the plan, cut her.

quincy said:

Let’s say you grade players on a rating scale from 1 – 10. This player automatically gets 1 or 2 points off her rating. If she still makes the Team, discuss with the AD if you can keep the parents on a short leash. Maybe ban them from games, practice, etc. if they annoy you. All communications with the Team from them go through the AD. Obviously let the parents know all this before the player is told they are on the Team and ask them if they accept your plan.

I find it hard to penalize a player in school ball because of their parents if there is any way you can avoid it. I know you don’t need the headache but that is why you get paid the big bucks.

If you cannot get the support of the AD or the parents will not agree with the plan, cut her.

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Word for word what I was thinking.

If the player, herself, is not a problem, I would be strongly inclined to keep her. But that leaves the issue of dealing with the parents. At our local high school the coach has a contract that must be signed by the player and parents. In it, the coach makes clear his policies and procedures which includes that he is coaching a competitive sport and is under no obligation to play anybody or make playing time equal. He also includes a dispute resolution procedure that includes a 24 hour waiting period, a meeting with the parents and player, as well as himself, another coach or two, and possibly the AD. It seems to work.

It seems you need to up your game on dealing with parents.

From the sound of the OP the parents are the issue. As a coach you never want to see an athlete suffer because of the parents. However, Coach, you are not the designated punching bag for parental insecurities. If you have to bring the AD into the situation before tryouts there is a huge problem that "meetings" will not solve. For some parents they will never change the way they act or approach their child's sports no matter what they say. It's their personality and you'll never change it. It's not in your job description to try and change it.

As the coach your #1 priority is the team. If having this player on the team will be a huge distraction to the team or your ability to effectively coach and manage the team because of the parents. You need to keep the player off of the team for the good of the team.

Every age group has a number parents who are very difficult to deal with. Eventually their reputations precede them and their children suffer because of the parents. I've seen it multiple times over the years. I passed on a stellar athlete last year because I knew the parents were nut jobs. I wasn't going to waste the time dealing with them. I had more important things to deal with for the team.

Best not to meet with parents AND the AD. Stand on your own and handle the parents otherwise you come as incompetent, hiding behind the AD. Getting administrators involved is never a good idea.

riseball said:

Best not to meet with parents AND the AD. Stand on your own and handle the parents otherwise you come as incompetent, hiding behind the AD. Getting administrators involved is never a good idea.

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Another downside to meeting before tryouts with the parents and AD is you've demonstrated prejudice towards the player without judging her performance or any actions by the parents. It opens up a Pandora's box of possible problems which could end up in the legal system. Much easier and simpler to not put her on the team. If things do work out later you can always add her to the roster.

Do not understand what the OP is afraid of regarding dealing with these parents. This is a great situation for a coach. You hold tryouts and if she makes your team she makes the team. Then you meet with her and the parents, address the past history and explain you are starting with a clean slate. However, they need to understand that there will not be any further conversations regarding the matter. If they behave, great. If not, you immediately cut her without discussion of ceremony. That removes the existing problem from the team and serves as a notice to others as to who is in charge.

I just had a similar issue last week with a parent that crossed way over the line at ASA Nationals. Some behavior will never be tolerated and due to the over the top actions of the dad the player was cut after the first elimination game.

High School softball is a no parent sport.

Judge the tryout player by her talent. She makes it or she does not, based on that.

If the player has a problem with the coaches, or playing time, it is up to the player only to initiate and have a discussion with said coach.

It is imperative at the HS level for the school to present and support the fact that parents are not welcome for any opinions, or meetings. All of such should be considered, if the parents are what is legally considered as "hostile", and treated as such so the meetings are structured and considered a legal maneuver.

the parents have to request a meeting. It should never be ad hoc. They should be reminded always the coaches decisions are final. the parents input is not welcome. Any attempt by a parent to force the issue will only speak negatively on the player, but only if the HS can properly structure and determine the hostile nature of the parents.

In other words. In this instance as a HS coach, judge the player on her talent. Let the parents bring her down after that, and make sure it is properly documented. It is not travel softball, and HS coaches are paid by the taxpayers money, and the coaches (school) must behave as a legal entity.

SCDad said:

High School softball is a no parent sport.

Judge the tryout player by her talent. She makes it or she does not, based on that.

If the player has a problem with the coaches, or playing time, it is up to the player only to initiate and have a discussion with said coach.

It is imperative at the HS level for the school to present and support the fact that parents are not welcome for any opinions, or meetings. All of such should be considered, if the parents are what is legally considered as "hostile", and treated as such so the meetings are structured and considered a legal maneuver.

the parents have to request a meeting. It should never be ad hoc. They should be reminded always the coaches decisions are final. the parents input is not welcome. Any attempt by a parent to force the issue will only speak negatively on the player, but only if the HS can properly structure and determine the hostile nature of the parents.

In other words. In this instance as a HS coach, judge the player on her talent. Let the parents bring her down after that, and make sure it is properly documented. It is not travel softball, and HS coaches are paid by the taxpayers money, and the coaches (school) must behave as a legal entity.

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As I said. I am all for not taking parent issues out on a player. But this seems like a whole of headaches that can be avoided by not taking the player. Is it fair to the player? No it isn't. What makes this set of parent any different than the others who follow the rules? Is it fair to the team to have the head coach distracted by the actions of one set of parents? No it is not. In my book team trumps the individual player in all but the rarest of situations.