Worst weekend ever as a coach

Not for any reason to do with the team's results, we're a very young 8U team and are struggling to find pitching, and frankly results don't bother me as we don't even keep standings at this level.
Friday at work I got a call from one of my assistants, telling me that one of my girl's dad died in a horrific accident. He was a friend as well, we coached last year together in tee ball and I played with him in men's league games for a few years. I've coached both of his girls now. I spent the day in my office, fighting the tears, trying to find the right words to inform our team. It just breaks my heart thinking how these two sweet, wonderful girls have to grow up without a dad.
We played shorthanded on Saturday morning, as two others couldn't make it as well, and in his honor we left second base unoccupied during the first pitch of the game (that was his position). Having to tell the team's parents was one of the worst things ever. Having to tell the girls that our player would be out for a while was even worse. Most of the girls made homemade cards for our player and her sister, and my DD and I took them to her today.
Some of my fellow coaches suggested a small patch on our shirts or visors in his memory. I have no idea whether this is a good idea or not, I want his DD to be able to feel like a kid and play like one, and I'm not sure if this will help, or hurt. If you have any ideas, I'd love to hear them.

I think it is a wonderful idea, especially since he had coached.

I lost my dad when I was 16. Softball gave me normalcy. But, that doesn't compare to being 8.

Do you think that their finances are OK? Because sometimes the family really needs cash, in this situation.

Prayers sent.....

Amy- I don't know for sure, but I suspect yes. Someone started a fund for them on one of the donor websites. Thank you for the advice, there's no manual for this.

Elk Grove Hurricane,

That is tragic! Let us all know if there are any needs in terms of the family.

Prayers!

So sorry for your loss.


Our rec league has a screenprint on the sleeve of our rec shirts this year in memory of a fallen Marine who grew up in our small town. I think it's a great idea.

Unfortunately the same thing just happened to my daughter's old team. The girls on the team all have stickers on their helmets with the father's initials.

That's terrible. Sorry for the loss of a friend.

Actually have had something like this happen three times. The first time was in high school and a teammate walked in to find his father had passed away from a heart attack. We all got stickers of his father's initials on our helmets. The next year, a teammates sister committed suicide. We had patches made of her initials and wore them on our jerseys.

My first year of coaching (5-7 yo's), a player on the teams father passed away from a heart attack. She got hit by a ball and was screaming to go to the hospital. It was literally a tap and didn't leave a mark. I said there was no need to go to the hospital but she continued to scream out of control. It was just an instructional level situation so the person that brought her to the game came over and told me what had happened just two days prior. Her father had passed away from a heart attack and the last place she knew where he was, was when he left for the hospital. I was heartbroken. I wish someone would have told me the situation a little sooner...

We had a similar situation last year. Our girls are a bit older (2nd year 12U last year) and the situation wasn't exactly the same. Our players dad was in a motorcycle accident but was then in the hospital for almost 2 weeks before he passed away. We all knew it was bad and that be might not make it but when I got the call at 8:00 in the morning on the day of a league double header it was still as shock. I had no idea what to do. We had a double header scheduled that night and then two days later we were to play in a tournament. Should we play the league games? Should we not play? What about the tournament? How do honor this player's father? I talked to a lot of coaches to get their input but I still wasn't sure what to do. Then the player called me and asked what time the first game started that night. I was like...you want to play tonight? She said she wanted to play more than anything. She said it was too sad at her house. So, we played. A couple of moms on the team made purple (his favorite color, Vikings fan) ribbons that the girls wore in their hair and they made little purple crosses that the coaches wore on our shirts. We wore them that night and at that tournament and then we put them away. We just decided that none of us needed a constant reminder of what had happened while we were playing ball.

We went to the funeral as a team. The girls all made cards as well. The thing that broght me to tears was after the last tournament we posed for team pictures that the parents all took. Later my daughter showed me the pic that the girls mom took. Our player had tweeted the team pic and said "these girls have been like my family this summer. Without them I wouldn't have made it through." Made me proud of my team more than any win we've ever had or will have.

It's not easy...good luck.

I am in tears thinking about this kid losing her dad. Mine passed away 4 months before I was born so I never suffered the pain of it, but my older siblings did and I can still see some of the hurt in them.

A wise person once said if you are sure what the right thing is it's best to do the positive one. If you want to sew armbands on or anything do it. If the girls asks to take them off go ahead and do so. Anything you can do to show how much you care for her will help her get through this. The other person is to look after the wife. Invite her over for pizza after a practice but don't force it on her. If some of the guys can help with some of the yard work for awhile it might be a big help.