Coaches, Players and Social Media: how to handle disrespect.
Just finished talking with a good friend who coaches Baseball at the HS level. He is the JV coach, and one of his players was on facebook dropping the F bomb during a rant about his family.
My question, what guidelines do you have for social media, and what would you do about a similar situation?
In our district, we are not allowed to be FB friends or tweet with our students/ athletes. However, he should take the young man aside and remind him that others can see that and it may affect recruiting and or college placement.
I don't believe coaches should be friends with players on social media. I'm sort of ok with the group txt for updates to fields, times etc as long as the parents number is included.
I would only allow my kids to have a FB page if I was their friend. I have dropped a dime on a kid using the F bomb when it showed up on my kids page. Their Grandmother has a page and they friended her. She does not need to see MS and HS kids going off. A couple of times when just off color language is used or mean things said I have told DD they need to clean it up or they get cut. Funny, if you draw the line clearly for them they tend to keep within the boundaries.
I'm friends with just about every girl I've coached from 6 yo to now 17 on FB. But I'm also friends with 99% of their parents at the same time on FB. We also, as parents have their password so we can log on at any time for private messages. Privacy under 18 is not a guarantee. We are still parents with a job to do.
I see something that needs attention, I call the parent. We do this for each other with a pinky promise as not to tell how they found out the info. A circle of trust, to speak of.
Teens need some adult figure to fall back on, when they are too embarrassed to talk or call their own parents. My best friend is a paramedic in our town, his brother is chief of police. They and myself have woke up many a time to pick up a teen who has indulged in alcohol and won't get in a car with someone who has too. We've knocked on doors to explain to the parents the teens made the right choice not to drive or ride with someone who has been drinking. Although the parents are angry about underage consumption, they are more concerned their child is home safe. Punishment is up to them.
Thank goodness most of our pick ups are not softball girls. It's either a friend of theirs or a boyfriend. And thank goodness we live in a small rural town, where adults realize kids make bad choices, but the kids make a call before getting behind the wheel.
Bottom line, kids will say and do stupid things on FB. We can't turn our backs and ignore it. It's called parenting. I'd rather know exactly what they are doing than be afraid to be on a social network with them.
To edit: Thus is not a free pass to drink. These are isolated, a pattern and chief has no problem driving them to juvenile detention for a weekend, not a nice place to be.
Last edited by GOINGDEEP; 09-02-2012 at 11:50 PM.
Arrive, raise hell, leave. - Steve Austin
BaldNBeautiful (09-04-2012),Perfect Circle (09-04-2012)
About whose family. Was it the player ranting about his own family, or about the coaches family.Originally Posted by BaldNBeautiful
The organization I'm involved with this year forbids coaches to friend any players on FB or any other social media. I don't have a FB page. I don't text or call kids on their phones. Several parents have given me their DD's phone number. I politely refuse with an explanation that I will not let the hint of impropriety enter into my interactions with any player. Every parent has understood.
In my team rules that are handed out to everyone on the team one of the ABSOLUTE demands I make is my players respect everyone of their team mates. They don't have to be BFF's, but I make it crystal clear they will not disparage anyone on the team through any type of social media, IM's or any other type of public forums. I've never had a problem with so far.
As far as the OP's situation goes I would not involve myself with it. It was a personal issue within the player's family. It did not involve the team. If I am the player's coach I am not going to involve myself in a family's intimate dynamics. It never comes to a good ending. If the situation started to affect the team then I might say something to the player and/or parents. Other than that I'm keeping my hands off unless I feel a player might be in a potentially harmful situation.
F' bombs about your parents.. You wouldn't be a parent if your teenage didn't use a few about you at one time or another. I know I did as a kid. The trouble is kids today do not understand all off the ramifications of posting non-sense on FB for everyone to see, not just your good friends.
BaldNBeautiful (09-04-2012)
His own famly. The coach had previously messaged him privately about an earlier episode. This time he (carefully) commented on the post about the language being inappropriate. The kid (a tenth grader) then went off about his right to free speech.
Speaking as a high school coach, we are not allowed to "friend" any player. However, we do address the issue and I just did the other night. We speak in terms of an "electronic footprint" and how that once it is established, it never ever disappears. It can be copied, printed, ... We also mention to players that colleges now hire staff that check out potential student athletes and their "electronic footprint." In the end, that might be the difference between who gets a scholarship and who does not.
Let's take the player mentioned here as an example. Dropping "F-Bombs" etc when talking about his parents, while none of the business of the coach, does give the coach a reason to sit the young man down and discuss his "electronic footprint." JMHO!
"A coach should not be judged on what they know but rather on what their players have learned." Bear Bryant
BaldNBeautiful (09-04-2012)
If you have such a role in their lives, speak to them as a mentor.
We don't have any written policies in our organization, but I do not accept Facebook friend requests from non-family members under the age of 18, and if it's a family friend, I will let their parents know that I received a request.
BaldNBeautiful (09-04-2012)
Our varsity coach approached my DD after seeing her at a clinic this fall and asked if she would friend him on Facebook. We thought it was weird but he said he wants to know what is going on with his players and she would be on his team this year. We monitor her page religiously, so we thought it was fine. Now our Volleyball coach said that if any girl on her team says anything negative about a player on the team, or another team, in any social media, they would be benched. "Heaven help you if you do anything worse than that"
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