What to do?

DD is 13. First year in TB. Moved with spring coach to new team; new coach promised DD to be the #1 pitcher. Coach laid it out right up front that we would play fall, take our lumps, grow and get better as a team and be ready to roll in spring. 3 tournaments in and he starts guesting in other pitchers. Giving DD very little to no circle time. DD pitched one game in last tourney where we won 6-3; DD got 5 pop outs and one grounder in 3 innings. Now this tourney upcoming he tells her he primarily wants her to catch, (DD also catches). The dilemma I am having is: do I step in and say something or do I make DD do it? I want her to stand up for herself; I feel coach needs to honor his commitment as he stated when we started up, "It's not about winning in the Fall." Any and all advice will be appreciated. THANKS!

Drop back 10 and punt! First of all Coaching mistake one - don't promise anyone anything. Work hard and earn your spot. Second encourage kid to want to play other positions. Give it some time - 1st year team your daughter should mention to HC that she would like some more circle time. Possibly he knows your daughter can pitch, but he needs to find a solid number 2 to go along with her. Competition from within the team can make everyone better.....

Chuckaducky said:

DD is 13. First year in TB. Moved with spring coach to new team; new coach promised DD to be the #1 pitcher. Coach laid it out right up front that we would play fall, take our lumps, grow and get better as a team and be ready to roll in spring. 3 tournaments in and he starts guesting in other pitchers. Giving DD very little to no circle time. DD pitched one game in last tourney where we won 6-3; DD got 5 pop outs and one grounder in 3 innings. Now this tourney upcoming he tells her he primarily wants her to catch, (DD also catches). The dilemma I am having is: do I step in and say something or do I make DD do it? I want her to stand up for herself; I feel coach needs to honor his commitment as he stated when we started up, "It's not about winning in the Fall." Any and all advice will be appreciated. THANKS!

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At 13, she needs to be a P or C, not both. What are her softball goals? Find a team where she can develope at which ever she chooses.

4 girls dad is correct. Pitchers don't catch and catchers don't pitch. Time to pick.

I really don't understand telling a player she will be the #1 anything. My DD is the #1 pitcher for our team but I recognize that any of the other 3 pitchers could bust their butts and surpass her. She'd then have to decide whether to work harder to hold onto #1, or stay the same and be OK with #2. We still need 1 more player; what if coach grabs a girl who's a stronger pitcher than my DD? I wouldn't expect him to turn her down (we genuinely need one more) just so my DD could stay #1. Again, she'd have to decide how hard she was willing to work to keep that spot. Any coach who guarantees a #1 position of any sort to any player would put me on my guard. I don't see how such a thing can ever be guaranteed.

We got the same speech last fall, not w/ the #1 pitcher promise, but all the "we'll take our lumps, we'll lose a lot but we're all about development," etc etc. In our case it was all lies. We had a full team, 11 talented kids, 3 strong pitchers and a back up, but he was picking up key position players and pitchers even for friendlies (this was first year 10U!). It became pretty clear he cared way more about winning than player development. After fall was up we left for a team where the coach said all the same things, but actually meant them. I have no idea if that's the case with your coach or not. Do you guys still need pitchers? If so he may be just trying to find the one or two he wants to keep. If you've got a full pitching staff and he's still picking them up he might be like our ex coach, always looking for the next best thing.

I'd want to know 'why' he is not pitching her, there may (or may not) be a good reason. Since this is her first year of TB, maybe he over promised and she needs more development than anticipated. Is she no longer considered the #1, or even 2 or 3 pitcher? Then I'd find out why and see if she can work harder to earn it back. Or maybe she is fine and he just wants to get the other pitchers some work. Either way, if fall is about development, then he needs to give all his pitchers circle time.

Since he may not speak as frankly with your DD, you might want to be the one to ask him.

Why is he using pickup players? Is it for lack of pitchers, or lack of patience?

To answer your main question, just ask the coach in a non-confrontational way 'what' up?' ... 'I'm surprised that we're using so many guest players. I got the impression that you would rely on the players on our roster and take our lumps. Have we changed course? What are your plans going forward?'

Don't make it all about your DD, but more generally about the coach's vision for the team. A conversation about 'you lied to us' won't be as productive as 'remind me again what we're doing here.' All that really matters is what lies ahead.

You also suggested having your DD talk w/ the coach. It would have to be a mature 13-year-old. Most would see this selfishly: 'I want to pitch. You said I'd pitch. Please let me pitch.' If she's mature enough to see the broader picture and not make it about herself, as in, 'I wish we could use our players and not pickups because even if we lose, we get better that way ,' then maybe.

Chuckaducky said:

DD is 13. First year in TB. Moved with spring coach to new team; new coach promised DD to be the #1 pitcher. Coach laid it out right up front that we would play fall, take our lumps, grow and get better as a team and be ready to roll in spring. 3 tournaments in and he starts guesting in other pitchers. Giving DD very little to no circle time. DD pitched one game in last tourney where we won 6-3; DD got 5 pop outs and one grounder in 3 innings. Now this tourney upcoming he tells her he primarily wants her to catch, (DD also catches). The dilemma I am having is: do I step in and say something or do I make DD do it? I want her to stand up for herself; I feel coach needs to honor his commitment as he stated when we started up, "It's not about winning in the Fall." Any and all advice will be appreciated. THANKS!

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You are receiving some good advice from other board members regarding your current situation. I wish you the best of luck with that. As a travel ball coach personally, my long term advice is to avoid any coaches that make promises. As soon as the promises start, move on. The only thing I ever tell players/parents is that they will have an opportunity to earn playing time at their desired position. I never make any promises concerning playing time or positions.

I would suggest talking with the head coach so you understand the long term plan. The coach knows what he is getting with your DD, so he may be using these tournaments as "tryouts" for the other pitchers, which is while they are getting the majority of the innings. How does your DD stack up with the guest pitchers? If you are confident in her abilities you should not worry about a little competition. I would also be leery of any coach that promises your DD the #1 spot. She needs to earn it...

I think it is perfectly fine to talk to the coach if you do it right. I think the easiest way to do it is...what do I/we need to work on over the winter to get more circle time? I have no problem with a player wanting more playing time (they should) and wanting to earn it. You just have to be careful of saying that the player is more important than the team. In other words...I have no problem with "what can I do to help the team more?"...I have a problem with "why is she playing more? I am better than her"